Raining on our parade...Vent

Do you ever feel like the people around you are just UUUUGH!!!
It seems like so as long as i can remember, my FH and I always run when someone needs our help or even if it just to make them happy. We used to have plans ALONE, and someone would call us and we would feel bad so we would invite them along. Thats just how we are. We feel bad for people and go out of our way to make others happy.
Wellllllll....Now it is out time to be happy. We don't expect everyone to be in our mood all the time. We are usually upbeat peopel and now with the wedding planning we get excited.
Like i said we don't expect anyone to share in our happiness but dont rain on oru parade. When we are in bad moods we dont go out and ruin other peoples moods...
Well since we got engaged its been on ongoing saga story with his brother and the issues in his marriage. THEY NEED COUNSELING!!!!! and they agree that they need it. but instead of doing this they come to my FH and me so we can solve their problems for them since they think we have an ideal relationship and they think we might be able to teach them how to communicate. We have tried and tried and they are OK for a fw days and then the drama starts again, and they keep involving us.
Im just so frustrated, I want them to be happy and get through their issuses but they have to realize that they have to stop dragging everyone down with them, especially if we have tried and we cant help....
To top it all off, I feel so bad for his poor mother, she gets so upset and gets sick. Then my Fh gets mad cuz if anything happens to his mother he is going to seriously hurt his brother..... i just wish they would grow up and see help.

sorry this was so long, I needed to get it off my chest..... thanks for listening girls.

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Posted by StreetDoc6531

Sorry sweetie. Maybe you should just tell them that you love them and you hope that they get through this but you just can't get involved anymore. It's too draining. HTH.

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yup--i agree. sorry they are suking you dry. show them the episode of sex & the city when carrie couldn't STOP talking about her break-up with Big, and the girls told her she needed therapy and they couldn't take her anymore!!

Wow, Maybe you can tell that that what they really should do to help their relationship is to go in to counceling (since they are both aware of needing it). That way they can learn better techniques for communicating with each other, so they can rely on each other & not you & FH.



Good luck

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Posted by StreetDoc6531

Sorry sweetie. Maybe you should just tell them that you love them and you hope that they get through this but you just can't get involved anymore. It's too draining. HTH.

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I agree. I am so sorry this is happening, but you are right. This is your time to be happy and you have too much going on in your own lives to be occupied with theirs. I hope that doesn't sound mean.... but it seems that you are trying to help them, but if that is not what is taking them to 'fix their issues' they do need to seek other help. You shouldn't have to always be the ones they go to. FH brother does the same thing to FH and I and it really could drive you crazy! Especially because everything we say goes in one ear and out the other. You and FH are both very nice for trying to help them, but like you said, if it is not lasting more than a few days, they need to try another approach. Good luck!

awww, I feel you! But you GOTTA put your foot down and tell them you guys can no longer help! I read a book called Don't Sweat the Small Stuff and it's all Small Stuff by Dr. Carlson. If you've never read it it is a MUST! In one chapter called Drop the ball, he talks about how sometimes we just HAVE to drop the ball in our lives! We can't possibly catch all the balls thrown our way and for sanity purposes we just have to drop it at times....
Hope things work out!
XOXOXO
Kitty

Just sign on Penny! I'm always there if you just want to vent. I know what you are going through though - I have been through something similar and it just got to the point where me and FH just had to make ourselves 'unavailable'...It hurts at first - and is hard on both ends - but it works out and you guys should be the ones to have to always be there for fix your brother's marriage problems.....

Sorry this happens to you. You need to tell them that your not getting involved anymore and if they want help to see a professional. I know that you want to help but you defintiley don't need the added stress.

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Posted by DMartocello



Just sign on Penny! I'm always there if you just want to vent. I know what you are going through though - I have been through something similar and it just got to the point where me and FH just had to make ourselves 'unavailable'...It hurts at first - and is hard on both ends - but it works out and you guys should be the ones to have to always be there for fix your brother's marriage problems.....

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My AIM is down today otherwise I would have thanks u hun....But its not my bro its his...grrrrrrr...

wow that just makes u wanna go

I have to say that I know exactly how you feel. I am going through something very similar.
It *****!!
Another thing that gets to me is that sometimes when I bring wedding stuff up they make me feel like Im acting like I am the only bride ever to get married. I know thats not what your going through but I can relate to the frustration of your story.

i totally understand where your coming from! there are alot of haters out there...sometimes that even includes family......when its their time they will understand...

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Posted by werock0709

I wouldn't get involved AT ALL!!! Who needs the stress is right!! Go on and be your happy selves, and indulge in your happiness. Seriously.....If they can't work things out amongst themselves, before having to seek professional help, they have serious problems. Let em know that your no longer getting involved.

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I agree with Mel.

You have your own problems to worry about. Taking on someone elses is just unhealthy right now.