Anybody ever concerned about raising children on LI? I grew up in LI and always thought I would never raise my children here. I just think there are alot of very materialistic people and it seems alot to do with keeping up with the Joneses. Also, there's alot of opportunity to get into trouble. My FI grew up in Michigan and has never done a drug in his life. I don't think I know anyone who has never done a drug, hehe. It was so prominent in my HS.
I know I will probably still move to LI when we have kids (I'm in queens now) because it does have a lot to offer and my family is here. I know that outside influences can have a big effect and if I turned out ok because of the way my mother raised me, then I think I can do the same for my kids. I just don't want my kids to be exposed to so much at such a young age, ya know?
what do you think?
EJSD2006
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Re: Raising kids on LI?
the only reason i would leave LI would be if we could not afford a house here. but as of right now, i dont think it will be a problem.
other than that, I would love to raise my kids here. i grew up on LI and loved it! close to beaches, malls, and only an hour into the greatest city in the world! with regards to drugs, if you're the kind of parent who asks questions and sets rules and knows who your kids are hanging out with then drugs should not be a concern. i plan on talking to my kids about EVERYTHING and not making it uncomfortable, like my parents did. that way, they will be able to tell me where they're going and not have to lie about it!
Goldi1021
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Re: Raising kids on LI?
I grew up in one of the most obnoxious and materialistic parts of LI. I think I turned out ok. There are children born into poverty who are just as materialistic as those born into wealth. I see it every day in the kids who gang up on one another for the sake of wearing the latest sneakers. If you are a strong enough parent, you will raise children who will grow to be good people regardless of whether or not they are surrounded by wealth.
Meaghan729
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Re: Raising kids on LI?
there are snobby materialistic people everywhere, not just LI.
MrsH1156
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Re: Raising kids on LI?
I think the concerns you listed have more to do with a persons character than where they actually live. True, Long Island does have it bad areas, but so does everywhere else. Where I live will not effect how my children are raised so much as what kind of parents my FH and I are. I understand your concerns but I don't think the grass is necessarily greener on the other side in this case. MY FH and I were both raised here and we've turned out fine (no drug use or arrests) and we're neither snobby nor materialistic.
Nikki24591
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Re: Raising kids on LI?
I grew up in a north shore town on LI and would love for my children to grow up in the same town I did. Unfortunately I don't think we can afford to live there because the taxes and prices of house are crazy. So we are looking for houses in for affordable areas ( more out east). Personally I think it is a great place to grow up because you have everything at your finger tips like the beaches, city etc..... My FI grew up in Minnesota and from what he has said about his childhood, his upbringing wasn't much different. You are going to find drugs and other issues everywhere; not just on Long Island.
AlmostMrsKelly
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Re: Raising kids on LI?
FH and i both grew up and went to school on LI and neither of us ever did a drug. i wouldn't raise my kids anywhere but long island. it's where our families are, where our home is.
BellaEyes
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I was just thinking.. at this point my feelings are I am not sure I would want to bring any children into this world.. the way it has become and about to become is quite frightening.
CLMon7906
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Re: Raising kids on LI?
Posted by Meaghan729
there are snobby materialistic people everywhere, not just LI.
This is true...however, certain 'towns' are worse than others. I can think of one fabulous incident where some teens made me miss a train to visit family the night before my wedding (the only chance i had to hang out with them at all) because the late comer of the group jumped in front of me to buy her ticket...then the little you know what forgot her ticket and change so she could make the train that she caused me and my MOH to miss (next train was in 45 minutes that day) then sent a boy back to fetch it...they were surprised when i threw it at them?
july06bride
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Re: Raising kids on LI?
I was raised on Long Island, and yes there are materialistic people- but I live in CT now and they are there too-Many of them I have friends from all over the US and outside of the country as well-and guess what-there are some very materialistic people there too...so there is no getting away from it. I agree with Goldi too- I taught in an inner city school for three years (in CT) and many of the students are at poverty level-and they still have the newest jordans and ipods and everything else...Go figure...
ETA-That I never touched drugs... I have friends who did/do and it has nothing to do with where they are from-that too is EVERYWHERE.
LI is a great place to live and I loved growing up there...although life has taken me away, I would raise my children there if life took me back.
kittythestray
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Re: Raising kids on LI?
The parents have complete control over how they raise their children. I can not believe what I see parents of today let their children do. I know what you're saying about the 'keeping up with the joneses' but it's the PARENTS who start that.
Also - I have never done a drug in my life and I'm straight edge.
Kerrycec
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aside from the $$$, we are staying. Schools are gernerally outstanding when compared to other areas of the county. Job openings, economy, etc.
Chelle
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IMO... I think we have to stop blaming the 'location' for how kids behave.
What happened to a thing called 'parenting'?
Shiv
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I totally agree parenting is the main component in how kids are raised. My concern is that I see so many families here who raise there children with no values and think the world is owed to them. As much as you can parent your children to not think that way, they are surrounded by it all the time and it absolutely has an impact on them.
My mother is the most non-materialistic person I know- she has just gotten her first pedicure at 65. She does nothing for herself. However, my sisters and I like material things- nice clothes, nice cars, nice furniture, etc. And although we have great values, I have to think that side of us comes from where we were raised. We're in no way materialistic, but we certain hold material items at a value higher than my mother does.
I'm just worried that kids here are exposed to so much want at such a young age- the 13 year old classmate that gets a gucci bag and makes your kid feel like crap because they don't have it. I would never give my children things like.
Chelle
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Very true and I see DISGUSTING parenting EVERY day where I live/work. I own a store in East Hampton and I see these mother's come in shopping and they have their nanny holding the kid, paying attention to the children, the mother couldn't even be bothered with her own kids!! It makes me sick to see it every day.
I see kids under 13 with Louis bags and cell phones... I just don't understand what happened!?!?
For example: FH and I were at the ocean the other day and this mother and father were there with their nanny (of course) and their little new born, must have been less than a year and the nanny played with the kid the whole time! The father sat there and read his paper and the mother just was sunning herself
I can't IMAGINE raising my child(ren) that way. It's all who you surround yourself with.
Of course, we all like nice things, but you HAVE to teach your children values and morals and most importantly RESPECT. Kids mimic everything you do, so naturally they're going to grow up being rude and inconsiderate when they watch their parents treat people that way.
Trust me, spend one day in my store and experience these parents, you'll understand why kids are the way they are.
It's heart breaking.
CLMon7906
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Re: Raising kids on LI?
Posted by Chelle
IMO... I think we have to stop blaming the 'location' for how kids behave.
What happened to a thing called 'parenting'?
well, the parents who can afford to buy a house here are working 70 hours a week so to make up for not spending time with their kids, they have the nanny go buy them whatever they want to curb their own guilt. so the kids learn that new things pacify emptiness as well and voila, greedy kids...no matter how sweetly they are raised, they can still be greedy and mean.
kissy27
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Re: Raising kids on LI?
Not a concern at all...I think people in NY are not as 'sheltered' as other places over the country...I believe that the way your child acts is all based on his/her upbringing. If you teach your kids right vs wrong, you hope they take it with them & do the right thing. In regards to drugs, I NEVER tried a drug & DH is the same...Hopefully we can pass that along to our kids...
Materialistic people are all over the world but you are more intune to it here bc you live here..My kids will be taught that not everything is handed to you & you need to work to get what you want!!!!! That is how I was brought up & I am just fine. It is all about what you show your kids & how you teach them!!
LaurenluvsTJ
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Re: Raising kids on LI?
I don't think materialism/snobbiness, or whatever you want to call it is a product of Long Island. Yes, of course there are people like that here, but there are people like that EVERYWHERE! You will even find these people in the most middle of nowhere places you can think of. Yes, some of it is a product of the environment you were raised in, some has to do with parenting, and some has to do with the nature of the time we are in. Every generation has the method of child rearing - when I was a kid - it was pushing kids to do everything and excel at everything - very competitive. Nowadays, it seems like the preferred method is never saying no - that it hurts a child's self esteem. Even doing away with things like keeping score at little league games contributes to this - and those kids grow up to believe they are entitled to everything. I think a lot of it also has to do with TV and the movies and music that are popular today. Watching a kid mouth of to his parents or teachers in a movie is funny - 20 years ago, that would have been appalling , and the 8 year old kid who talked back to his mom in the movie would have been slapped across the face or grounded.
So after the whole long winded thing I just said - I think it has more to do with society in general than in the area you are raised in.
I would love to raise kids on Long Island, I think its a great place to live and the schools are top notch. I just hope we have the money to be able to do it.
As for the drug thing - I grew up on long island and never once touched a drug of any kind, have never put a cigarette to my lips and didn't have my first alcoholic drink until I was 24. Thats just my personality, it has nothing to do with where I was raised.
kissy27
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Re: Raising kids on LI?
Posted by CLMon7906
Posted by Chelle
IMO... I think we have to stop blaming the 'location' for how kids behave.
What happened to a thing called 'parenting'?
well, the parents who can afford to buy a house here are working 70 hours a week so to make up for not spending time with their kids, they have the nanny go buy them whatever they want to curb their own guilt. so the kids learn that new things pacify emptiness as well and voila, greedy kids...no matter how sweetly they are raised, they can still be greedy and mean.
I have to disagree with you...DH & I do not work 70 hours a week & have purchased a gorgeous home on LI!!!! When kids come around (next 2 years) I will be home & there will not be a nanny!!! So you can't say that just bc that is what you 'preceive'
Chelle
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Re: Raising kids on LI?
Posted by kissy27
Posted by CLMon7906
Posted by Chelle
IMO... I think we have to stop blaming the 'location' for how kids behave.
What happened to a thing called 'parenting'?
well, the parents who can afford to buy a house here are working 70 hours a week so to make up for not spending time with their kids, they have the nanny go buy them whatever they want to curb their own guilt. so the kids learn that new things pacify emptiness as well and voila, greedy kids...no matter how sweetly they are raised, they can still be greedy and mean.
I have to disagree with you...DH & I do not work 70 hours a week & have purchased a gorgeous home on LI!!!! When kids come around (next 2 years) I will be home & there will not be a nanny!!! So you can't say that just bc that is what you 'preceive'
I have to disagree too. I was raised in a beautiful home and my parents didn't work 70 hours a week. I plan on staying home with my children and I refuse to hire a nanny.
Also.... I wasn't talking about the parents who HAVE to work to survive and have help. I'm talking about the parents who have what I call 'stupid' money and DON'T have to work, but hire people (sometimes more than 1, I've seen it) to take care of their own children, even when the mother/father don't work!
