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re-post from BHB: What do you think of having two best men?

slwh2005 Posted:

re-post from BHB: What do you think of having two best men?

My FH just asked his two brothers to be best men and they had the worst reaction. He's so bummed now. They were both like why would you have two? It's ok you can just ask the other one, etc.

What do you all think? He told them that he wanted them both up on the altar with us and that they are both very important to him. (A little background: both parents passed away, these are his only two brothers - both older - 7 and 9 years older. He lost his dad when he was 9, so they've been sorta father figures.)

He was so disappointed by their reaction. I know I have seen two best men before and I thought it was fine. What do you think? Thanks.
hbradio Posted:

Re: re-post from BHB: What do you think of having two best men?

I dont think there is anything wrong with it - my FH has 3!!!!! Its hard to choose, so dont do it. Its not necessary. It will just cause the whole you love him more thing between brothers in my opinion.

junie20002 Posted:

Re: re-post from BHB: What do you think of having two best men?

ohh do not worry I am haveing to Maid of Honors and 2 best men. It is all staying in the family so that should be something special.
Barakabella Posted:

Re: re-post from BHB: What do you think of having two best men?

Posted by slwh2005

My FH just asked his two brothers to be best men and they had the worst reaction. He's so bummed now. They were both like why would you have two? It's ok you can just ask the other one, etc.

What do you all think? He told them that he wanted them both up on the altar with us and that they are both very important to him. (A little background: both parents passed away, these are his only two brothers - both older - 7 and 9 years older. He lost his dad when he was 9, so they've been sorta father figures.)

He was so disappointed by their reaction. I know I have seen two best men before and I thought it was fine. What do you think? Thanks.

I am SHOCKED by their reaction. Why?
1. It is a huge honor to be asked to be a best man and the fact that your FI showed the grace to invite both is obvious.
2. For pictures, especially when they are two older brothers in a man who lost his father, it is so meaningful to have them both there.
3. It is hardly like you are breaking some tradition. MANY MANY weddings have more than one honor attendant for the grrom or bride and it is not only fine -- it becomes that much more special.
I would have FI explain his reasoning to the two of them -- that he loves them both and views them both as extremely important to him. They may be saying what they are saying now so as to make it easier for your FI to choose one -- when he explains the logic, I suspect they will come around. -- oops, I meant to answer this on BHB, but somehow am on 05 brides.
slwh2005 Posted:

Re: re-post from BHB: What do you think of having two best men?

Thanks girls. We thought it was a great idea. Their reaction was so disappointing to FH. He's really annoyed now.

junie20002 Posted:

Re: re-post from BHB: What do you think of having two best men?

oh that is so sad, maybe it took them by surprise my FI was previously married and his oldest brother was the BM for that one this time we asked his younger brother and my son to be the best men
Jan05Bride Posted:

Re: re-post from BHB: What do you think of having two best men?

Susan,

I'm so sorry for your FH. It was such a nice thing he as doing, too bad his brothers didn't see it. I hope that they will come to understand the signifigance of having the both of his brothers standing up there as he takes his vows to you. I hope it works out
slwh2005 Posted:

Re: re-post from BHB: What do you think of having two best men?

Posted by Jan05Bride

Susan,

I'm so sorry for your FH. It was such a nice thing he as doing, too bad his brothers didn't see it. I hope that they will come to understand the signifigance of having the both of his brothers standing up there as he takes his vows to you. I hope it works out


Thanks, Lisa. I feel badly because he's really bummed about it now.

Did you have fun at your shower??
Jan05Bride Posted:

Re: re-post from BHB: What do you think of having two best men?

Posted by slwh2005

Thanks, Lisa. I feel badly because he's really bummed about it now.

Did you have fun at your shower??


That really sucks. I hope it all works out. I'm sure it will.


I had Lot's of fun!!! I'm uploading some photo's now. I'll post some photos either tonight or tomorrow. thanks for asking. My bridesmaids are the BEST!
slwh2005 Posted:

Re: re-post from BHB: What do you think of having two best men?

Posted by Jan05Bride

Posted by slwh2005

Thanks, Lisa. I feel badly because he's really bummed about it now.

Did you have fun at your shower??


That really sucks. I hope it all works out. I'm sure it will.


I had Lot's of fun!!! I'm uploading some photo's now. I'll post some photos either tonight or tomorrow. thanks for asking. My bridesmaids are the BEST!


It probably will work out, but I don't think he'll get over this feeling.

I'm glad to hear your shower was good. Have fun next weekend!!
Jan05Bride Posted:

Re: re-post from BHB: What do you think of having two best men?

Posted by slwh2005
It probably will work out, but I don't think he'll get over this feeling.

I'm glad to hear your shower was good. Have fun next weekend!!


Tell him to get used to being disappointed... you will learn A LOT this year about friends & family ... it goes both ways though, some will nicely surprise you, some will disappoint. In the end, it's you and him and you two become a family. That's what this is all about.
slwh2005 Posted:

Re: re-post from BHB: What do you think of having two best men?

Posted by Jan05Bride

Posted by slwh2005
It probably will work out, but I don't think he'll get over this feeling.

I'm glad to hear your shower was good. Have fun next weekend!!


Tell him to get used to being disappointed... you will learn A LOT this year about friends & family ... it goes both ways though, some will nicely surprise you, some will disappoint. In the end, it's you and him and you two become a family. That's what this is all about.


Good point. Unfortunately his family can be very disappointing at times.
Jan05Bride Posted:

Re: re-post from BHB: What do you think of having two best men?

Posted by slwh2005

Good point. Unfortunately his family can be very disappointing at times.


That sucks for him (and you too) ...
slwh2005 Posted:

Re: re-post from BHB: What do you think of having two best men?

Posted by Jan05Bride

Posted by slwh2005

Good point. Unfortunately his family can be very disappointing at times.


That sucks for him (and you too) ...


Yep, it does. I guess they really aren't so bad, but sometimes they just don't think before they speak. They can be so un-supportive at times. But then there are times when they are really great. I guess that's normal.
Jan05Bride Posted:

Re: re-post from BHB: What do you think of having two best men?

Posted by slwh2005
Yep, it does. I guess they really aren't so bad, but sometimes they just don't think before they speak. They can be so un-supportive at times. But then there are times when they are really great. I guess that's normal.


Totally normal. We should swap some stories soon

Have a goodnight, and try to tell him they probably didn't mean it as bad as it came out.
slwh2005 Posted:

Re: re-post from BHB: What do you think of having two best men?

Posted by Jan05Bride

Posted by slwh2005
Yep, it does. I guess they really aren't so bad, but sometimes they just don't think before they speak. They can be so un-supportive at times. But then there are times when they are really great. I guess that's normal.


Totally normal. We should swap some stories soon

Have a goodnight, and try to tell him they probably didn't mean it as bad as it came out.


Sounds good! You have a good night too!!

Thanks for listening!
FrescaBride Posted:

Re: re-post from BHB: What do you think of having two best men?

My FH asked his two brothers to be the best men in our wedding. They actually had this agreement since they were kids that they will be each other's Best Men. So I have two Best Men in my Bridal Party and very happy about it. They are extremely close and couldn't see my FH choosing between them. One of his brothers recently got married and my FH and his other brother were the two best men. It was really nice and very touching.
If they both agree, I think it is wonderful and it will make it more Special.
brooklynbridezilla Posted:

Re: re-post from BHB: What do you think of having two best men?

My FH will have his two brothers as best men too. They were happy to be asked- I think the other one would have been jealous if only one had been asked.

randella Posted:

Re: re-post from BHB: What do you think of having two best men?

Posted by junie20002

ohh do not worry I am haveing to Maid of Honors and 2 best men. It is all staying in the family so that should be something special.


us too.. My two MOHs are my best friends..

Our two best men- FH's bro and FH's best friend..

you can do whatever you want to do-- and I am guessing the reason why you chose both, was so that you did not have to decide between and honor both guys. They should be honored they were both asked and not feel slighted.
Dooodles Posted:

Re: re-post from BHB: What do you think of having two best men?

I am so sorry that FI brother's reacted that way. I'm actually quite shocked! What a beautiful gesture for him to want both of his brothers as his best men. IF women can have a Maid and Matron of Honor, why can't a guy have 2 best men? I think it is so sweet and hopefully his brothers will see that point also. Can you talk to them about it?

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