Ready to give up and not even have a wedding... UPDATED!
UPDATE: We are booking 10/30!
Thank you all for your advice and support. It's been such a stressful few weeks. Now I am looking forward to planning my actual wedding (instead of my wedding date!)
PS - FH called FMIL to tell her, and she started suggesting other RHs. Seriously? She started naming all these other places we should check (all of we we have and are mostly out of our budget). Also, she suggested we look at late next year, even though we told her we'll be priced out of most places because they give you better prices to fill the upcoming dates they haven't booked. Her response to that? Well, by then you'll have saved more money. WHAT?! We don't WANT to spend more money. And let me remind you, they are not giving us a dime.
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Hi girls. I’ve been lurking around for quite a while and wanted to introduce myself! FH and I got engaged in March, after being together more than 6 years, and are currently trying very hard to plan a wedding for 2010. An outdoor CH and maybe outdoor ceremony are very important to us, as well as photos outside with greenery and flowers.
I apologize in advance for how long this is going to be, but if I don’t vent, I am going to explode…
After 2+ months and 25 RHs, we found one that we love, and that is within our budget (we are basically paying for the wedding ourselves). Obviously, only certain dates are available, and since it’s such a short time frame (as opposed to 12-18 months out), we asked family (aunts, uncles and cousins) and close friends if they were free, and it’s been hell ever since.
1. 10/10 (before we picked the current RH) – FH’s Friend B is getting married that day and just told him now! They are having a small “family” thing, but FH’s Friend J is going! (FH is a little hurt Friend B didn't tell him at least)
2. 10/2 – FSIL has a triathlon (she is semi-pro) and would be locked out of the circuit until 2012 if she didn’t race. I want to be a biotch and say too bad, but I can’t. I'm not that mean. Plus, I don’t want drama. (she's a BM). Also, FH’s Friend B can’t come.
3. 11/20 – FH’s Friend J can’t come. Weather will be cold, definitely no greenery.
4. 10/30 – FH’s Friend B can’t come. My Friend S can’t come. Also, we are concerned about the weather and photo ops.
Here is where I found out my dress will be in much earlier than expected.
5. 8/28, 29 – FH’s Friend J can’t come. My aunt and uncle are bringing my freshman cousin to college that weekend.
6. 9/5 – FH’s Friend B can’t come. And I am nervous about Labor Day. I hear 'that's great, it's a 3 day weekend!' and 'no way, people go on vacation that day'...
Many people have said, 'don’t ask us, do what is right for you and we will be there!' Other people tell us 'don’t try to accommodate other people, it’s your wedding'. But what I think is important to clarify is that we’re not doing this to accommodate these people for THEM – we actually want them there and would be sad if they weren’t.
Also, people keep saying, well, why don’t you just plan ahead for late next year so people are free? We have considered that (even though I am sick of waiting and I want to get married sooner rather than later) but what most people don’t realize is that the price will jump big time. The only reason we aren’t priced out of the place we’re looking at now is because we’re booking in a short time frame. The same dates next year would be $20-30 more pp.
I just don’t know what to do anymore. I can’t focus on work. We both can’t sleep well. And we are getting into little fights everyday about this. I am seriously ready to call the whole thing off. I can’t keep doing this. I get my hopes up and we find out someone is busy. I can’t look at any more places. I am so stressed. I’m on WW and gained weight for the first time last week because of all of this.
Again, I’m so sorry for the length – I applaud anyone that’s made it to the end. Thanks for listening girls.
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Thank you all for your advice and support. It's been such a stressful few weeks. Now I am looking forward to planning my actual wedding (instead of my wedding date!)
PS - FH called FMIL to tell her, and she started suggesting other RHs. Seriously? She started naming all these other places we should check (all of we we have and are mostly out of our budget). Also, she suggested we look at late next year, even though we told her we'll be priced out of most places because they give you better prices to fill the upcoming dates they haven't booked. Her response to that? Well, by then you'll have saved more money. WHAT?! We don't WANT to spend more money. And let me remind you, they are not giving us a dime.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hi girls. I’ve been lurking around for quite a while and wanted to introduce myself! FH and I got engaged in March, after being together more than 6 years, and are currently trying very hard to plan a wedding for 2010. An outdoor CH and maybe outdoor ceremony are very important to us, as well as photos outside with greenery and flowers.
I apologize in advance for how long this is going to be, but if I don’t vent, I am going to explode…
After 2+ months and 25 RHs, we found one that we love, and that is within our budget (we are basically paying for the wedding ourselves). Obviously, only certain dates are available, and since it’s such a short time frame (as opposed to 12-18 months out), we asked family (aunts, uncles and cousins) and close friends if they were free, and it’s been hell ever since.
1. 10/10 (before we picked the current RH) – FH’s Friend B is getting married that day and just told him now! They are having a small “family” thing, but FH’s Friend J is going! (FH is a little hurt Friend B didn't tell him at least)
2. 10/2 – FSIL has a triathlon (she is semi-pro) and would be locked out of the circuit until 2012 if she didn’t race. I want to be a biotch and say too bad, but I can’t. I'm not that mean. Plus, I don’t want drama. (she's a BM). Also, FH’s Friend B can’t come.
3. 11/20 – FH’s Friend J can’t come. Weather will be cold, definitely no greenery.
4. 10/30 – FH’s Friend B can’t come. My Friend S can’t come. Also, we are concerned about the weather and photo ops.
Here is where I found out my dress will be in much earlier than expected.
5. 8/28, 29 – FH’s Friend J can’t come. My aunt and uncle are bringing my freshman cousin to college that weekend.
6. 9/5 – FH’s Friend B can’t come. And I am nervous about Labor Day. I hear 'that's great, it's a 3 day weekend!' and 'no way, people go on vacation that day'...
Many people have said, 'don’t ask us, do what is right for you and we will be there!' Other people tell us 'don’t try to accommodate other people, it’s your wedding'. But what I think is important to clarify is that we’re not doing this to accommodate these people for THEM – we actually want them there and would be sad if they weren’t.
Also, people keep saying, well, why don’t you just plan ahead for late next year so people are free? We have considered that (even though I am sick of waiting and I want to get married sooner rather than later) but what most people don’t realize is that the price will jump big time. The only reason we aren’t priced out of the place we’re looking at now is because we’re booking in a short time frame. The same dates next year would be $20-30 more pp.
I just don’t know what to do anymore. I can’t focus on work. We both can’t sleep well. And we are getting into little fights everyday about this. I am seriously ready to call the whole thing off. I can’t keep doing this. I get my hopes up and we find out someone is busy. I can’t look at any more places. I am so stressed. I’m on WW and gained weight for the first time last week because of all of this.
Again, I’m so sorry for the length – I applaud anyone that’s made it to the end. Thanks for listening girls.
