Hi girls - sorry in advance if this gets long. FI is catholic. My dad is Jewish mom is catholic.. I have 'no religion' b/c I was never baptised or had my bar mitzvah. FI and I agreed to have the ceremony in the hall.. No one on either sides family said anything bad about it.. it was fine. But recently for some reason I have wanted to get married in the church.. I know I have to become catholic (which is fine since we are raising our son that way already) But this is also going to cost alot more $$$ so I need your help to decide!!! Another little thing is if I get married at the hall I cant do the whole us leaving the church but at the church I have to spend more money on limos and a few little things that add up fast... please help
neesiepie
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Re: Really need your help to decide - Ceremony
Why would it cost more money in a church? Do you mean b/c of the limos? You don't HAVE to have limos unless you want them. Or you can have a limo just for you and FI. I dont think the church would be much more expensive, only time-consuming. I am receiving confirmation and it is a 6-month process....
JimmysBride
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Re: Really need your help to decide - Ceremony
It will cost more to have it in a church because they require a 'donation' and some churches 'charge' as high as $1000 for this donation. Not to mention flowers for the church and limos for longer time, like you said. Also, some church insist that you use their musicians, for a fee, of course. Then, if you don't, you still have to pay them as well as the one's you hired yourself.
Also, in order to get married in a Catholic Church, you also have to take pre-cana classes (also costs $$).
Anyway, this is a truly personal decision. It involves your degree of faith and desire to practice this religion. Ask yourself why you want to be married by the Catholic church and if you believe alot of the things they teach for marriage. I think a Catholic wedding is beautiful thing, but it is really a personal decision. Good luck!
Charly
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Re: Really need your help to decide - Ceremony
There are really two issues here. Please don't take anything the wrong way...is it that you just want a church wedding, or are you ready to go through the steps of becoming a confirmed Catholic? I only ask because as far as know only one of you has to be a confirmed Catholic (both must promise to raise the children Catholic) in order to marry in a church. Since he is Catholic you can get married in most churches. (We are not both Catholic)
I have a similar background as you described, and I decided a few years ago that I wanted to make the committment. I went through the RCIA program. FM if you want the details.
Every chuch is different...my donation is $600 and that includes the fee for the music, clean up, etc. I don't think I'm going to have ceremony flowers only b/c I'm not a big fan of flowers and I think the church is beautiful as is.
Donna
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Re: Really need your help to decide - Ceremony
I was going to say kind of the same thing at Oct bride. Don't become Catholic (or any religion) just to have your ceremony in a church. If you want to become Catholic it should be for all the right reasons - not just because you want to leave from a church.
MrHostility
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Re: Really need your help to decide - Ceremony
Have you thought of a non-catholic church, perhaps just a Christian one? Luthern, I know for a fact, you don't have to be a member of.
AJsMommy122
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Re: Really need your help to decide - Ceremony
thanx for all the advice - Just FYI I am raising my son catholic and was planning to become catholic myself.. its just getting pushed along by the up coming wedding. I consider myself catholic I just havent been baptised and such yet.
Donna
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Re: Really need your help to decide - Ceremony
I think what may be the best thing is to talk to a priest about it. I'm not sure how long the classes will take. I see that you are getting married in 2005 so you have some time. Since it is something you plan on doing I would see if it's doable to accomplish now while you're raising your son and planning a wedding.
Good luck!
Charly
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Re: Really need your help to decide - Ceremony
FYI: you attend classes for about a year (mine were one week night and one mass) and the final ceremony (baptism,etc) is generally on the Easter Vigil.
AJsMommy122
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Re: Really need your help to decide - Ceremony
Do you have to go through all of that when you are changing religion or when you are choosing a religion? I think they would work with me seeing as how my wedding is 13 mos away. I am going to call a few churches near me right now and find out
Charly
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Re: Really need your help to decide - Ceremony
It is the same for both. I was never bapitzed as a child and decided as an adult that it was something that was important to me, but there were converts in the class with me.
I would definitely find a priest you are comfortable with and talk to them about it.
kdelace
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Re: Really need your help to decide - Ceremony
my sister is catholic but didnt get married inthe church because of costs, conflict with hall. She now regrest it and is setting up a small ceremony so her marriage will be recognized in the catholic church. believe me, with all the $$$ you spend on everything else, the church is just another expense..
Boop2704
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Re: Really need your help to decide - Ceremony
Do you want the church because of the spiritual aspect or because you just feel its right to get married in a church??(does that make sense) You could always get married in a community church. I know you said you are going to be baptized, but you could get married in a community church and not have to rush things. I am catholic but FH is not so we decided on a community church because I wanted to be married in a church. Just a suggestion. I know you said it will cost more, but with all your spending on the day, I am sure that you want everything to perfect and the ceremony is the most important part of the day, so you should do what you want. You don't want to regret it later. Good Luck with whatever you decide!!
