Rehearsal Dinner...

CLMon7906 Posted: Jun 06, 2006 09:23 AM

Rehearsal Dinner...

So what is the bare minimum guests to invite?

My thinking is:

US, our parents, our g-parents and the wedding party.

If we invite OOTs, we then HAVE to invite the aunts and uncles cause they would get their feelings hurt.....ugh.

the thing is, likely FH and I will pay for it (and have it as a backyard/BBQ thing)...so the parents, grandparents, us and WP are like 28 people....to add aunts and uncles and OOTs, we'd be over 50....we need it to be SMALL.

is it OK to exclude our aunts and uncles? and will our OOTs be too upset if we nix them as well...i mean, this is LI...and NYC is not that far...I think my OOTs are planning on going into the city anyway.....

i would appreciate some input.

TIA

CLMon7906 Posted: Jun 06, 2006 09:36 AM

Re: Rehearsal Dinner...

anyone???

ChrissynRicky Posted: Jun 06, 2006 09:39 AM

Re: Rehearsal Dinner...

We ONLY had:

us
our parents
our grandparents
bridal party w/their SO's.

Katie&Chris2006 Posted: Jun 06, 2006 09:40 AM

Re: Rehearsal Dinner...

We are currently having this debate as well. Fh's parents are paying for it, but are horrified by LI prices (they are from PA) yet they want to invite OOT guests! Does not make any sense to me....since that will take us well over 100 people! For a RD!

I think it is appropriate to invite parents, grandparents, BP and their respective spouses/significant others - especially if you paying for it yourself!

When my FMIL asked what about the OOTers, I told them we can meet them at a bar for a drink afterwards. I am NOT having a mini-wedding the night before my actual one.

sarahradio5 Posted: Jun 06, 2006 09:42 AM

Re: Rehearsal Dinner...

My FH's mom is paying for the RD. When she heard that etiquette was to invite OOT guests who will be staying at the hotel where the restaurant is where we will be having the RD the night before the wedding, apparently, it was an 'issue'. So, now, it will just be everyone who it involved in the wedding. (even though my FH and I and my parents are paying for ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING ELSE, but we're not bitter at all that 6 extra people was an issue...)

shellibean Posted: Jun 06, 2006 09:48 AM

Re: Rehearsal Dinner...

becuase we are having difficulty getting both FH's mom and dad to split the cost (divorce situation)
I am think we are just going to invite the bare minimum (Bridal party, parents, OOT guests). I would love to have aunts and uncles there, but to me that opens up a whole can of worms! HTH

CLMon7906 Posted: Jun 06, 2006 10:02 AM

Re: Rehearsal Dinner...

thanks ladies....i needed some confidence that our 'limit' wasn't obscure...i didn't think so, but when i thought FILs would be paying, i didn't really care....but FH doesn't want them to foot another bill....and they haven't even mentioned it...ok....i'll start the planning!!!!

THANKS!!!! LIW girls rock!!!

waterspout4 Posted: Jun 06, 2006 10:10 AM

Re: Rehearsal Dinner...

We only had our BP with SOs and our parents. After the RD we had a get together where EVERYBODY was invited to a restaurant/bar for an informal gathering. (In other words, we weren't paying) I only thought a few people would come, but they all did. It was nice to see veryone in an informal setting and it gave a place for OOT guests to meet.

CLMon7906 Posted: Jun 06, 2006 10:12 AM

Re: Rehearsal Dinner...

Posted by waterspout4

We only had our BP with SOs and our parents. After the RD we had a get together where EVERYBODY was invited to a restaurant/bar for an informal gathering. (In other words, we weren't paying) I only thought a few people would come, but they all did. It was nice to see veryone in an informal setting and it gave a place for OOT guests to meet.

oooh....good twist...i'll run all this by FH!!

kathrynlinton Posted: Jun 06, 2006 10:58 AM

Re: Rehearsal Dinner...

We paid for half of our RD (don't ask, MIL is nutty). We had us, our parents (DH's 3 mothers), our bridal party and dates (which was only one person) and my nutty aunt who invited herself and her daughter.

I think it is FINE to just have those people there. My MIL wanted to do what SIL did, which was invite everyone who was OOT and have them PAY FOR THEMSELVES, now how TACKY is that??????????

So, I said No way jose and we met up with everyone in the hotel and hung out there.

RadioLau Posted: Jun 06, 2006 11:20 AM

Re: Rehearsal Dinner...

We are having
Us
Parents
Grandparents
Bridal Party
Readers
OOT guests

I heard some rumors of inviting other aunts and uncles too. I wish we could just keep it small though. No one listens!!

mrsh2b Posted: Jun 06, 2006 11:28 AM

Re: Rehearsal Dinner...

As someone that's been an OOT'er at the a few weddings this year, I have yet to have been invited to the rehearsal dinner and I was totally NOT offended by that. I would keep it to your 28 guests you accounted for. Otherwise, it gets OOC and you end up having a mini version of your wedding the night before. What bride needs that?!

Danigrl28 Posted: Jun 06, 2006 11:43 AM

Re: Rehearsal Dinner...

We had:

Us
Parents
Grandparents
BP and if they wre married their spouse
Readers

utwo16 Posted: Jun 06, 2006 11:44 AM

Re: Rehearsal Dinner...

I think it is absolutely reasonable to limit the number of people at your RD. We were having a similar problem in the beginning. My FH is from Boston and if we were to invite all oot guests it would be 50 people.
You should invite whoever you would like to. We are having us, parents, BP & SO's, grandparents, and we are having 2 aunts and 2 cousins, but they are like my siblings. We are very close. I think it is usually just for parents grandparents and bp.

Mandyin2007 Posted: Jun 06, 2006 11:47 AM

Re: Rehearsal Dinner...

We are just having our rehersal dinner at someones house so we are inviting aunts and uncles, but basically you invite your families, participants in the wedding (it can include readers) and maybe your officiant.

CLMon7906 Posted: Jun 06, 2006 11:50 AM

Re: Rehearsal Dinner...

thanks again....yeah, i did the math and it was going to be a 'mini wedding' we attended a RD last summer that had that feel.....the next day, there were very few 'unfamiliar' faces.

BTW: FH approved of the guest list and had no issues!! (I told him I consulted the masses...heehee.)

angnick Posted: Jun 06, 2006 11:56 AM

Re: Rehearsal Dinner...

FMIL decided to not invite the grandparents (she said it was not necessary)

We are stuck at 50 people cause our bp is so large and we invited our readers who are apart of the ceremony.

IL's have been complaining about it the whole time. it is pretty funny..

tomsgirl07 Posted: Jun 06, 2006 12:34 PM

Re: Rehearsal Dinner...

We've been trying to figure this out, too. It will definitely be the parents, BP and dates, and probably any OOT family. I don't think there will be too many OOT family on his side cause they'll just drive over from NJ Saturday morning, but my side may have more. We'll have a lot of friends coming in from out of town on Friday night, so I think we may just plan to get together with everyone after the RD at the hotel, otherwise our RD will be over 100 people!