Re: relationship help--must admit im annoyed with certain comments, edited at bottom
I think that people in general have different 'clocks' so to speak. It's not unusual for one person to be ready for marriage and the other not ready. I think it's a matter of taking the time together to figure out what you both want. My FH and I have been together for 7 years. We met the first week of college and have been together ever since. When we were in school we both knew we weren't ready for marriage and after graduation we knew we wanted to be together but were so anxious about getting set up in careers and such that we pushed it off. By the second year out of school we bought a place together and at that point I was full force ready to get married - but he wasn't. Actually - let me clarify - he wanted to marry me but was so scared about money and such. He wanted more time. But he made it clear to me that he wanted to marry me at that point and I love him so much that I was willing to wait. By 2003 I was ansy and had decided that if by the end of the year he did not propose that we would have to seriously figure out what was going on. Sure enough right after his 25th birthday he bought the ring and a few months later he proposed - planned it out so he could propose at our school. Anyway...my point (you knew it was coming eventually ) is that each person is different and we have different expectations - and fears. I think if you sit down and just talk about what you both want - kinda get on the same page about things and understand how the other feels then you'll feel better - I bet he will too. It's hard to say what you should do until you clearly understand what he wants to do. And he needs to understand how you are feeling too. I waited 7 years for my proposal - and you know what - it was worth it cause I waited all my life to meet someone like him.
Kriss2c
Posted:
Member since
Re: relationship help--must admit im annoyed with certain comments, edited at bottom
It sounds to me that you two do love one another, however, both of you are not ready for marriage. It also sounds as if you feel you need to prove yourself and your feelings for your BF to his family.... which is pretty childish (on their part, please don't take offense.. but you pressuring your BF into marriage also contributes to their misbehavior).
I would try to not pressure him, re-evaluate your feelings for your BF, and talk to him about it and then go from there.
RedHead
Posted:
Member since
Re: relationship help--must admit im annoyed with certain comments, edited at bottom
Posted by MuchInLuvMichi
i must admit after reading some comments it kinda made me mad. just b/c i have over 200 posts does not mean im obsessed with wedding planning. i enjoy talking to other women about life and relationships and 'apologize' if that annoys some pple. i like to pass the time and i will try to refrain posting about wedding topics since i m not engaged
I hope you are not referring to me when you wrote this. My comments had nothing to do with your posts here! In my opinion i think that planning a wedding that isn't occurring just yet is a waste of your time and energy. I think you have a lot of work to do as far as your relationship with you possible future in-laws. I think having a good relationship with the is VERY important and should be your priority if you want a life with this man. Instead of pressuring him you time would be much well spent trying to forge a bond with the people you want to call family. Planning a wedding and looking at rings could only backfire on you. This is why i made the comments i did. Your age, well you are young so age only works to your benefit and like i said i don't think it is much to wait a year or two, so you BF feel comfortable. Which would you rather have: 1. pressuring him , getting engaged and then having him back out because he can't handle the pressure. 2. wait a year or two, allow him to be comfortable, build some relationship with his family????
Like i said it is a no brainer!
MrsTC
Posted:
Member since
Re: relationship help--must admit im annoyed with certain comments, edited at bottom
Michelle - there are a bunch of other girls on here who were posting way before they were engaged. I think it can only be helpful in the long run. Don't worry about it and don't let anyone stop you from posting!
FLaCaTaCa
Posted:
Member since
Re: relationship help--must admit im annoyed with certain comments, edited at bottom
Age....not important!!!! I am 19 and will be married before I am legal to drink. Am I doing the right thing at the right time...YEP! Not a doubt in my mind that he is the one for me...forever. I am with you MuchInLuvMichi, I was on this site before we got officially engaged! Only a couple of weeks before but I posted like crazy!
Girls plan their weddings and know what they want way ahead of them being engaged, I see it all the time.
I am sure none of the comments were meant to hurt you or make you feel unwelcome. You asked for an opinion and they were someone's opinion. What can we do? Don't be upset or feel unwelcome.
