removed sorry
removed - Sorry - family is reading it....
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removed sorry
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Re: I just dont get family sometimes (vent)
Please dont take this the wrong way - I know alot of people feel the same way as you .. but I could never get married without all my nieces and nephews there .. a wedding is a family celebration and a celebration of love.. and I understand people are spending alot on there weddings - so are we 100% all of it is on us.. but I understand how your brother feels.. I wouldnt go anywhere my son wasnt invited. JMO
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Re: I just dont get family sometimes (vent)
I feel the same way as Soon2bmrs. Only my nephews and neices and FH's nephew are invited to the wedding. Everyone else's kids are not. Is it because of the expense? B/c Catering halls usually charge less for the children.
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Re: I just dont get family sometimes (vent)
i agree-- i don't see a problem with the closest children attending, especially your brother's daughter.
whatever happens, don't let this cause a rift betwen you and your brother. these are happy times, remember?![]()
whatever happens, don't let this cause a rift betwen you and your brother. these are happy times, remember?
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Re: I just dont get family sometimes (vent)
This might come up at my wedding. Not on my side though. My brother doesn't want his kids there, he would rather have fun that night and not watch them. My sisters children are in the wedding, and it's all good with everyone.
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Re: I just dont get family sometimes (vent)
I understand sometimes you dont want your kids there.. that fine.. but it should be the parents choice if they want to bring them or not.
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Re: I just dont get family sometimes (vent)
I agree with you. If you and your FH are paying the majority of the wedding then YOU and only YOU gets to decide who is coming. If your brother is going to throw a temper tantrum and insist that his child be somewhere she doesn't need to be then he will be missing out on a fabulous wedding. If he cares for you he will come around.![]()
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Re: I just dont get family sometimes (vent)
I am inviting the older children to my wedding (12+) and the two ring bearers and flower girl (6, 5, 3).
But I completely disagree with the above posters who believe that little kids should be invited. I think it is a matter of choice. Why should kids under 2 be invited to a nighttime wedding. What on earth will they get out of it?
But I completely disagree with the above posters who believe that little kids should be invited. I think it is a matter of choice. Why should kids under 2 be invited to a nighttime wedding. What on earth will they get out of it?
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Re: I just dont get family sometimes (vent)
Unless parents are contributing to your wedding then it is not their choice of wether or not their kids are invited.
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Re: I just dont get family sometimes (vent)
I understand you not wanting kids there, my sister only had the flowergirls
and ringbearer (my BIL's only nephew by the way ,so that worked)
but she only invited kids 13and+. I on the other hand, am having one
kiddie table because FH has 6 nieces and nephews and are all a big
part of his life (the kids practically live in his parent's house) so he is
paying for them and my cousin is coming from out of the country with his
parents, siblings, and wife so I would never ask him to leave his 4 year
old with a sitter in a different country!!!!!!!!! (his in-laws live in Spain)
so there will be a total of 10 kids at my wedding (including the 2fg's and
rb) who will be under the age of 13!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but you know what? I have
decided to embrace it and enjoy them and have even come up with an
idea to set up a special centerpiece for them at their table (they would
probably tear up the flower centerpieces anyway)
BOTTOM LINE: DON'T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF!!!!
BTW: we got a good deal for the kids, only $27 and some change for
their food (chicken nuggets, cheeseburgers, fries and stuff like that
and ringbearer (my BIL's only nephew by the way ,so that worked)
but she only invited kids 13and+. I on the other hand, am having one
kiddie table because FH has 6 nieces and nephews and are all a big
part of his life (the kids practically live in his parent's house) so he is
paying for them and my cousin is coming from out of the country with his
parents, siblings, and wife so I would never ask him to leave his 4 year
old with a sitter in a different country!!!!!!!!! (his in-laws live in Spain)
so there will be a total of 10 kids at my wedding (including the 2fg's and
rb) who will be under the age of 13!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but you know what? I have
decided to embrace it and enjoy them and have even come up with an
idea to set up a special centerpiece for them at their table (they would
probably tear up the flower centerpieces anyway)
BOTTOM LINE: DON'T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF!!!!
BTW: we got a good deal for the kids, only $27 and some change for
their food (chicken nuggets, cheeseburgers, fries and stuff like that
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Re: I just dont get family sometimes (vent)
I don't think its going to be an issue for my wedding, but I agree that its up to the bride and groom. If they want to have an elegant evening affair then children might not have a place there. I really think that there are many occassions that parents get sitters, why shouldn't a formal event (if that's the case) be one of them. JMO
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Re: I just dont get family sometimes (vent)
This subject seems to be a sore spot for alot of families!
The bottom line is, it is YOUR wedding. You decide if you want children there or not. Your brother will come around. If not, he is being incredibly selfish, and will miss out on a wonderful wedding!
I strongly disagree that it should be the parents decision to bring kids or not. Since when do they guests dictate the guest list? It's up to the bride and groom. Not having children at a wedidng is not a personal attack on children as some people seem to take it. There are some things that are not appropriate or necessary for small children. Evening weddings are one of them.
The bottom line is, it is YOUR wedding. You decide if you want children there or not. Your brother will come around. If not, he is being incredibly selfish, and will miss out on a wonderful wedding!
I strongly disagree that it should be the parents decision to bring kids or not. Since when do they guests dictate the guest list? It's up to the bride and groom. Not having children at a wedidng is not a personal attack on children as some people seem to take it. There are some things that are not appropriate or necessary for small children. Evening weddings are one of them.
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Re: I just dont get family sometimes (vent)
I agree with WendyPoo, this should not be demanded by any of your guests!!!!
I am having FH's nieces and nephews because I really don't mind them
being there, but none of the other kids (his cousins kids, there are like
40 of them!!!!!!!!!!!!) are not going to be invited. I forgot to mention earlier
that his brothers and sisters are not demanding that the kids be there
but are really appreciative that we have decided to include them in. I don't
think this should be a determing factor in your brother's decision whether
to attend your wedding or not.
I am having FH's nieces and nephews because I really don't mind them
being there, but none of the other kids (his cousins kids, there are like
40 of them!!!!!!!!!!!!) are not going to be invited. I forgot to mention earlier
that his brothers and sisters are not demanding that the kids be there
but are really appreciative that we have decided to include them in. I don't
think this should be a determing factor in your brother's decision whether
to attend your wedding or not.
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Re: I just dont get family sometimes (vent)
I'll agree with wendy and the others.
If you're flipiing the bill.. you make the ules.. If you're not flipping the bill.. you still make the rules.. It's YOUR day.
A friend who's been married over 25 years said to me after I got engaged.. You are gonna hear family fight over the stupidest things.. So far, it hasn't happnede to me.. but it could. WHo knows. Obviously... with lots of vents on this board.. it truly happens a lot.
In my opinion.... unless the kids mean a WHOLE LOT.. leave em out.. they can put a big damper on the day.
It's vene better for Momy and Dadyy when tey get some well deserved time apart from the kids.. and with each other...
And things then tend to go bump in the night... LOL Seriously though.. you know what I mean.
If you're flipiing the bill.. you make the ules.. If you're not flipping the bill.. you still make the rules.. It's YOUR day.
A friend who's been married over 25 years said to me after I got engaged.. You are gonna hear family fight over the stupidest things.. So far, it hasn't happnede to me.. but it could. WHo knows. Obviously... with lots of vents on this board.. it truly happens a lot.
In my opinion.... unless the kids mean a WHOLE LOT.. leave em out.. they can put a big damper on the day.
It's vene better for Momy and Dadyy when tey get some well deserved time apart from the kids.. and with each other...
And things then tend to go bump in the night... LOL Seriously though.. you know what I mean.
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Re: I just dont get family sometimes (vent)
Posted by Soon2bMsZ
I understand sometimes you dont want your kids there.. that fine.. but it should be the parents choice if they want to bring them or not.
I disagree. It's not their day, nor their children's day. It's the bride and groom's day, and their wishes should be respected. Children are normally 50% plates, and that adds up quick. Most parents will likely not cover their children's plates in their gifts. I know it's not all about gifts, but you have to think about it somewhat.
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Re: I just dont get family sometimes (vent)
Its absolutely the couples choice on the kids issue. Its a formal pm wedding and the child isnt invited then thats that. Many people dont want kids at the wedding. We are having a ton of kids because many of them are in the wedding party and we tried to include them all in some way. My brother just called and asked me if his girlfriends daughter can come and I told him I couldnt have anymore people,(she is 10). It wasnt a kid issue but another person issue. Im hoping to get some no's to the wedding as it is! He kept saying well, let me know, and I kept saying I cant have anymore peopel! OYE!
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Re: I just dont get family sometimes (vent)
chris605: it's your wedding, you can do whatever you want!
However, if your parents are paying for the other 10% of the wedding, then they do have a slight say in who attends. If they are paying a bit and want their grandchildren, well, then you may have to budge.
If neither your parents nor your brother or his wife are paying the other 10%, then I you can and should do whatever makes you and your FH happy. If your brother can't deal with it, well, it's his choice, he doesn't have to come. But they have to respect your decision.
An alternative (if you are concerned about the kids acting up) is to hire a babysitter to come to the wedding and keep the kids entertained or bring them homeif they get cranky.
However, if your parents are paying for the other 10% of the wedding, then they do have a slight say in who attends. If they are paying a bit and want their grandchildren, well, then you may have to budge.
If neither your parents nor your brother or his wife are paying the other 10%, then I you can and should do whatever makes you and your FH happy. If your brother can't deal with it, well, it's his choice, he doesn't have to come. But they have to respect your decision.
An alternative (if you are concerned about the kids acting up) is to hire a babysitter to come to the wedding and keep the kids entertained or bring them homeif they get cranky.
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Re: I just dont get family sometimes (vent)
Very touchy subject. I luckily don't have to deal with this, so I have no real answers . On the one hand it is your day and you should get to make choices but to invite someone without their child is a bit of a stretch. They are now forced to get a babysitter so they can attend YOUR affair, which can be more of an inconvenience than anything. I am not sure myself if I were specifically told that I could not bring my child if I would show up either. No answers just putting it out there![]()
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Re: I just dont get family sometimes (vent)
Posted by NYCHICK
Very touchy subject. I luckily don't have to deal with this, so I have no real answers . On the one hand it is your day and you should get to make choices but to invite someone without their child is a bit of a stretch. They are now forced to get a babysitter so they can attend YOUR affair, which can be more of an inconvenience than anything. I am not sure myself if I were specifically told that I could not bring my child if I would show up either. No answers just putting it out there![]()
So does that mean getting a babysitter is such an inconvenience that parents never go anywhere?
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Re: I just dont get family sometimes (vent)
were inviting the young cousins that are close to us...however i could see how you wouldnt want kids there..
my niece will be 2 1/2 and is the flower girl, she is going to be at the wedding, then take pictures, then my sister is getting a babysitter for her, so that she doesnt need to be at the reception.
little kids tend to be a distraction, sometimes run around the room, and become bored...
maybe she can come just to the wedding ceremony, then their inlaws can watch the kid for the rest of the night?
my niece will be 2 1/2 and is the flower girl, she is going to be at the wedding, then take pictures, then my sister is getting a babysitter for her, so that she doesnt need to be at the reception.
little kids tend to be a distraction, sometimes run around the room, and become bored...
maybe she can come just to the wedding ceremony, then their inlaws can watch the kid for the rest of the night?
