removed sorry

Look down below

LMAO - I didnt mean it that way, I should have been more clear. Basically what I ment is IF KIDS ARE INVITED then the parents have the choice if they actually want them there or not. - In refrence to someone saying that the parents wont have any fun taking care of them - which I have to disagree on .. the one wedding I took my son it WAS THE BEST wedding I had ever been too.. I much rather spend time with him then a bunch of adults!

NYCHICK - I totally agree with you 100% very well said..
everyones like ohmigod there gunna run around?? so friggen what let em run!! lol

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Posted by Moehick

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Posted by NYCHICK

Very touchy subject. I luckily don't have to deal with this, so I have no real answers . On the one hand it is your day and you should get to make choices but to invite someone without their child is a bit of a stretch. They are now forced to get a babysitter so they can attend YOUR affair, which can be more of an inconvenience than anything. I am not sure myself if I were specifically told that I could not bring my child if I would show up either. No answers just putting it out there

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So does that mean getting a babysitter is such an inconvenience that parents never go anywhere?

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Anywhere is a bit dramatic. It means on a day such as a wedding where family, and love and all that good stuff is supposed to appreciated, telling me not to bring my child could be seen as an inconvenience. Most people don't see a wedding as an 'adult only affair' more so a 'family affair' and his kids would be categorized as family. I am sure parents would love to get a babysitter for their children. I just think that a wedding is not one of those occasions, maybe a work function or something like that, but not a wedding.

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Posted by Soon2bMsZ

I understand sometimes you dont want your kids there.. that fine.. but it should be the parents choice if they want to bring them or not.

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Sorry but I don't agree with this. If you and your spouse are invited to a party this does not give you the right to bring your kids. If the couple is requesting an adult only party and you iwon't/can't go without your kids then you should not go. I don't undertsand why people don't get this??? That is what they have babysitters for.

I personally will invite children from my immediate family (nieces and nephews) but no other kids, unless I am very close with them.

JMO but I don't think it is an unreasonable request.

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Posted by Moehick
So does that mean getting a babysitter is such an inconvenience that parents never go anywhere?

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- Well I just have to say about this one.. usually at a family wedding all the adults are there right? Well I NEVER leave my son with anyone but one of his grandparents.. if everyone was to be going to the wedding then yes its inconvenience.. well not really b/c I just wouldnt go!!

How about a compromise? Invite her to the ceremony and the cocktail hour and then have your brother arrange for someone to pick her up before the reception.

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Posted by lullabella

Sorry but I don't agree with this. If you and your spouse are invited to a party this does not give you the right to bring your kids. If the couple is requesting an adult only party and you iwon't/can't go without your kids then you should not go. I don't undertsand why
I personally will invite children from my immediate family (nieces and nephews) but people don't get this??? That is what they have babysitters for.
no other kids, unless I am very close with them.
JMO but I don't think it is an unreasonable request.

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Maybe you should have read a few posts up

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Posted by Soon2bMsZ

I understand sometimes you dont want your kids there.. that fine.. but it should be the parents choice if they want to bring them or not.

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i disagree. if the hosts do not want children at their celebration it is their prerogative and guests should respect that.

i personally want kids at our wedding but our close friends and family have either no children or grown up kids. kind of a bummer for me, but what can i do!

The bottom line is: It's your day, It's your decision. End of story....
Don't let anyone bully you into a decision you are not comfortable with.

For me, I love kids and wanted all of them at my wedding, but that's just me....
My best friend felt differently and had an 'adult only' reception and it was wonderful and elegant all the same.
It's a choice and it's your choice to make....I'm sorry your brother does not respect that!

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Posted by chris605

I have 5-Nieces and Nephews - And I am ONLY inviting my Godson/Nephew to the wedding ONLY because he is walking me down the aisle..... My sister understands her other 3-kids arent coming

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You mentioned your sister's other 3 kids are not invited. What are the age ranges? BC if any of the other 3 are old enough they might wonder why 'tommy' gets to go and they don't. People might say they are kids who cares, but why intentionally leave them out of a family affair if their feelings might be hurt. I remember (even when I was 4) when my aunts and uncles got married and I thought it was so cool bc I looked up to them.

I personally don't understand why you won't want you nieces and nephews at a family affair.

Like everyone has said it is your wedding and what you say goes. So I hope that you and your brother can come to an understanding.

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Posted by Soon2bMsZ

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Posted by lullabella

Sorry but I don't agree with this. If you and your spouse are invited to a party this does not give you the right to bring your kids. If the couple is requesting an adult only party and you iwon't/can't go without your kids then you should not go. I don't undertsand why
I personally will invite children from my immediate family (nieces and nephews) but people don't get this??? That is what they have babysitters for.
no other kids, unless I am very close with them.
JMO but I don't think it is an unreasonable request.

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Maybe you should have read a few posts up

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I did, but it just seemd like you only said that because you realized how wrong that is.

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Posted by Soon2bMsZ

I understand sometimes you dont want your kids there.. that fine.. but it should be the parents choice if they want to bring them or not.

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I dont agree! It should be MY choice who i watnt at MY wedding!

We are inviting our nieces and nephews but that’s because WE want them to be able to attend! My brother has already said my nephew wont be there (he will only be 1) and my niece will only be there if she is in the wedding. His point, he cant enjoy himself if he is running after a 3 year old and a 1 year old! And this is the only time I am getting married, he wants to be able to enjoy my wedding. My FBIL and FSIL however I know will bring their 3 year old! This doesn’t please me but this is the decision FH and I made!

Anyway, unless it you YOUR wedding, I don’t feel that you have the right to dictate whether your children are invited or not. My cousin does not go ANYWHERE with out her daughter but I warned her a month after we set the wedding date that her daughter as much as I adore her, is not invited to the wedding. She understands this, because it is my wedding! And this has NOTHING to do with money. MY wedding doesn’t end until Midnight, I personally don’t feel this is the place for children (for MY wedding, if someone else wants this then that is up to them) This is JMHO!

I think you need to talk to your brother and explain your reasons for not wanting your neice there! Don’t make it a money issue, make it a logistics issue! A 3 year old gets fussy when they get tired, they cry, they throw temper tandrums, let him know that you want him and his FI to be able to really enjoy the day. And that you don’t want a bunch of kids running all over the place, afterall if you invite her, to save peace you will have to invite the 4 others as well as if your FH has any! Maybe he feels like she isn’t important to you because you aren’t inviting her and hes hurt by this! If that’s the case maybe you can tell him that you would love for her to be around so you could take pics before or after the ceremony with her, afterall she is your niece.

Good Luck!

I am personally not a fan of alot of kids at weddings, but I had to have my niece and nephew at mine and another child on Dh's side.

We kept it to kids in the IMMEDIATE family.

Our guests were not allowed to bring kids.

You have to do what makes YOU happy.

For everyone who keeps quoting what I said you really should read my other post.. and no I didnt add it b/c I realized how wrong it was.. thats honestly how I feel.. I thought people would understand what I was saying but obviously not

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Posted by Soon2bMsZ

In refrence to someone saying that the parents wont have any fun taking care of them - which I have to disagree on .. the one wedding I took my son it WAS THE BEST wedding I had ever been too.. I much rather spend time with him then a bunch of adults!

NYCHICK - I totally agree with you 100% very well said..
everyones like ohmigod there gunna run around?? so friggen what let em run!! lol

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Maybe when you have a 3 year old who all she does is run you might feel differnetly, I know my brothers attitude changed as my neice got older and began getting into everything!

Personally I dont want children running around at my wedding! I was at a wedding once where no one could dance because the kids were running around and sliding all over the dance floor! That is why I dont want kids running at my wedding! I am paying alot of money for the other 100+ of my guests to be able to enjoy a dancefloor and not have to dodge children to get a drink, this is my choice!

And I think a HUGE problem stems for those parents (I am not saying anyone on this board) who dont supervise their kids! Everyone has seen them! THe paretns who are off chatting as their child is pulling the lit candles off of the table or who are screaming becuase they cant have the soda that they want!

Personally I dont feel that a night reception is the place for kids, young kids more particularly!.

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Posted by Kelly9904

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Posted by Soon2bMsZ

In refrence to someone saying that the parents wont have any fun taking care of them - which I have to disagree on .. the one wedding I took my son it WAS THE BEST wedding I had ever been too.. I much rather spend time with him then a bunch of adults!

NYCHICK - I totally agree with you 100% very well said..
everyones like ohmigod there gunna run around?? so friggen what let em run!! lol

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Maybe when you have a 3 year old who all she does is run you might feel differnetly, I know my brothers attitude changed as my neice got older and began getting into everything!

Personally I dont want children running around at my wedding! I was at a wedding once where no one could dance becuase the kdis were running around and slidign all over the dance floor! That is why I dont wnat kids running at my wedding! I am paying alot of money for the other 100+ of my guests to be able to enjoy a dancefloor and not have to dodge children to get a drink, this is my choice!

And I think a HUGE problem stems for those parents (I am not saying anyone on this board) who dont supervise their kids! Everyone has seen them! THe paretns who are off chatting as their child is pulling the lit candles off of the table or who are screaming becuase they cant have the soda that they want!

Personally I dont feel that a night reception is teh place for kids, young kids more particularly!.

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Why do I get the strange feeling that people are missing my point All I am saying is to be specifically told that I cannot bring MY CHILD to a family event, of which she is apart, is an inconvenience. I absolutely feel that she has every right to demand no children at HER wedding but her brother also has the right to want HIS child with him as he watches his sister get married. We are not talking about him not inviting an extra friend here, this is the man's child. And when I have a child I may/may not feel differently, who knows. But again, I would feel annoyed at someone inviting me to be apart of their day, knowing I have a child, and then telling me that the child they know that I have, can't come. It is now an inconvenience for your guest to find a babysitter so he may witness the happiest day of YOUR life.

The wedding of his/her aunt is not anywhere. Once in a lifetime family events should be shared with by family.

ETA - Not that I am saying she should cave and let him bring her. But I understand his reservations.