Ring bearer/flower girl

So I'm being plagued with an issue...

We have a ring bearer already in mind (he'll be 3 at the time of our wedding). Do we really have to have a flower girl? I feel like it might be too much between our families.
Here's the reason why I'm asking, we don't plan to have children at our wedding -ceremony and reception. The only issue then is that the ring bearer will be there, his cousins (parents are brother and sister), have two twin girls who will be 2 years old by the wedding. If the ring bearer is there, are we obligated to invite the twins? Then in that case, I'll need to invite the children on my side. What the situation in this case (formalities, etc.)? I don't want to aggravate any side of the family.
Is it just something I'm thinking too much about?
Should I just be like, 'we'll he's in the bridal party and just the exception,' and have others deal with it?

There's a lot of questions jumbled up in here! My apologies but it's something I just have no idea about.

You could always have him at the ceremony and not the reception. If I had decided to have children in the wedding, that's probably what I would have done. But then you run the risk of really ticking people off!

If you want him at the reception then I would just say, he's in the bridal party and he's the exception. People will have to understand that not everyone wants a ton of kids running around a wedding.

I agree. The ring bearer is a child of my DF's cousin. He was basically a shoe-in. I was just worried about what his other cousins would say, then mine, etc...I mean my thinking is that the parents are going to have a relaxing afternoon/evening without their kids, why complain?

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Posted by WabiSabiDani

Also teacherteacher, how was your winter break? I also teach and mine went wayyyyyy too fast! At least there's 5 weeks until the next one!

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very quickly! i was really sick the week before break, so i tried to recover quickly...still a little ehhh. then i had hair & makeup trials, took my niece to a character breakfast, went to hunter to introduce FH to my grandparents, went to albany to see my other sister, other niece and nephew, took care of FH who got my sickness for a few days, and then just went to ac! i am tired!

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Posted by teacherteacher

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Posted by WabiSabiDani

Also teacherteacher, how was your winter break? I also teach and mine went wayyyyyy too fast! At least there's 5 weeks until the next one!

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very quickly! i was really sick the week before break, so i tried to recover quickly...still a little ehhh. then i had hair & makeup trials, took my niece to a character breakfast, went to hunter to introduce FH to my grandparents, went to albany to see my other sister, other niece and nephew, took care of FH who got my sickness for a few days, and then just went to ac! i am tired!

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Hunter Mt upstate? I have family in Tannersville! I wonder if they know each other (since EVERYONE knows EVERYONE up there!)

I can't wait until next vacation - though I'm nervous because right after vacation my kids have the state ELA & Math exams

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Posted by mattandjess2013

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Posted by teacherteacher

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Posted by WabiSabiDani

Also teacherteacher, how was your winter break? I also teach and mine went wayyyyyy too fast! At least there's 5 weeks until the next one!

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very quickly! i was really sick the week before break, so i tried to recover quickly...still a little ehhh. then i had hair & makeup trials, took my niece to a character breakfast, went to hunter to introduce FH to my grandparents, went to albany to see my other sister, other niece and nephew, took care of FH who got my sickness for a few days, and then just went to ac! i am tired!

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Hunter Mt upstate? I have family in Tannersville! I wonder if they know each other (since EVERYONE knows EVERYONE up there!)

I can't wait until next vacation - though I'm nervous because right after vacation my kids have the state ELA & Math exams

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Oof! Yea I hear ya. I used to be 6th grade so I definitely know that nightmare! I transferred to 2nd so happy to have that stress off my shoulders ...for now

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Posted by mattandjess2013

Hunter Mt upstate? I have family in Tannersville! I wonder if they know each other (since EVERYONE knows EVERYONE up there!)

I can't wait until next vacation - though I'm nervous because right after vacation my kids have the state ELA & Math exams

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yep! they've been up there for the last 20 years or so, but they can't drive and I don't get to see them a lot boooo. they're the amorosos, maybe your fam knows mine? lol that would be hilarious

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Posted by teacherteacher

yep! they've been up there for the last 20 years or so, but they can't drive and I don't get to see them a lot boooo. they're the amorosos, maybe your fam knows mine? lol that would be hilarious

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My aunt is Cathy Leach (her husband used to own Colonial Oil) and I have cousins with the last name of McGinnis & Hosier. If they knew anyone it would probably be my aunt, it's like everyone knew her and my uncle up there!

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Posted by WabiSabiDani

Oof! Yea I hear ya. I used to be 6th grade so I definitely know that nightmare! I transferred to 2nd so happy to have that stress off my shoulders ...for now

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Yea I teach 4th! I'm so nervous. My kids can barely put a coherent sentence together at times - it scares me! They are constantly forgetting to put periods or capitalize at the beginning. I have one that NEVER capitalizes the word I. Ugh!!

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Posted by WabiSabiDani

Alright since I'm -fairly- new on the site (I'm more of a lurker), can you friend someone on here?

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Not to my knowledge - but there's always Forum Mail to private message people and whatnot!

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Posted by mattandjess2013

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Posted by teacherteacher

yep! they've been up there for the last 20 years or so, but they can't drive and I don't get to see them a lot boooo. they're the amorosos, maybe your fam knows mine? lol that would be hilarious

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My aunt is Cathy Leach (her husband used to own Colonial Oil) and I have cousins with the last name of McGinnis & Hosier. If they knew anyone it would probably be my aunt, it's like everyone knew her and my uncle up there!

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I'll ask them when I see them next!

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Posted by mattandjess2013

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Posted by WabiSabiDani

Alright since I'm -fairly- new on the site (I'm more of a lurker), can you friend someone on here?

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Not to my knowledge - but there's always Forum Mail to private message people and whatnot!

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Bah!

Yup! It'll drive the cost RIGHT UP! I've gotten to the point where if someone complains and is persistent about it, I'll mention a cousin's wedding where significant others weren't allowed/invited unless they were engaged. I had been dating my FH for about 5 years at the point and we all knew he wasn't going anywhere. Wasn't invited. I mean I understand for monetary issues but what if we got engaged the weekend before? Oh well.
People just need to deal, he was the only one we thought of in our party anyway.

I'm very close with all my cousins kids (second cousins) so I'm having children at my wedding, but I'm only having Ring Bearers, my two nephews.
I'd love to ask my cousins daughter to be a flowergirl, but I feel bad asking her and not her brother (not that he'd care, it's more the parents).
I also don't want to ask only one little cousin and not the others. I may ask my 19 year old second cousin and that's ok because she's an adult and the family needs to understand at some point you can't ask everyone.
You need to do what works for you! It's your day and your decision, don't forget that.