RP from LIF: What to do about a boss who won't let you quit? (long)

Okay, I know this sounds strange, but here's a little background::

I work for a small family company, I've been with them for 5 years and I manage a department.

I've been not happy here for quite a few years, I took measures to get a business license in another field, and now I'm currently working part time in that field, as well as working full time at this job.

My unhappiness at my full time job pretty much boiled over a few months before our wedding, when I indeed, quit my job, but my boss convinced me to stick it out for a few more months. Things went back to normal, I know things were not going to change, and I had a falling out with a co-worker who has been an issue for quite some time just a few weeks before our wedding. I ultimately, put in writing my resignation, and my boss asked me to give more time, since I worked here so long and how hard it would be to replace me, yada yada yada. I agreed, and I basically gave 5 weeks notice.

Tomorrow is my last day. He has not even placed an ad for my replacement, he will not let me send out a notification that I am leaving and he has even been speaking with the CFO about me apparently, I don't know what was said but the man is determined to find me another position within the company and he is just not GETTING IT. I do not want to be here anymore.

He also helped me arrange my honeymoon, which we are leaving for next week. I think he is convinced that my stress was due to the wedding and that I will come back from my honeymoon and everything will be peachy keen.

How the heck do I handle this? I've never had a boss who wouldn't let me quit! I don't want to burn my bridges, but I think I need to really get mean here.

Thanks for any suggestions.

Re: RP from LIF: What to do about a boss who won't let you quit? (long)

Your boss clearly doesn't understand your level of unhappiness. Since tomorrow is your last day, I'd just take a meeting in the afternoon and say that it's time for you to move on; that you appreciate the professional relationship that you've had and their effort to keep you there but you need to move on to something else.

Or you can choose not to say anything - you've formally resigned, you'll be cleaning out your desk - it's not like you surprised them with this.

If you're not taken seriously or your boss tries still to negotiate to keep you there, be very firm. You don't have to be mean to be really firm in what you're saying.

No idea if this helped you - it's a tough spot to be in when you don't want to be outright mean and burn bridges. But I wonder - even if you aren't mean, will your boss hold a grudge after you're gone? How much contact will you have with them afterward? Do you need them for references, etc?

I have no idea if I've even helped you - I'm just trying to think of what I'd do in your position.

Re: RP from LIF: What to do about a boss who won't let you quit? (long)

Honestly, I thought I did more than enough. I gave plenty of notice, explained my feelings, and even offered if they got a replacement that I would come in for a week or so for two days to help train them, since there was only one other person in our department, and he just is not understanding.

To top it off, people in my office are acting like I'm not leaving. I'm getting projects and people asking me to do things, meanwhile, I need to update the other person in my department of all the stuff I was working on!

Re: RP from LIF: What to do about a boss who won't let you quit? (long)

I totally understand. I quit my current job about a year ago, but got guilt-tripped into coming back and here I am.

It is a tough situation. I'm not sure what advice to give even (since you have made it further than me!). I would probably meet with him tomorrow and just reiterate that you are going to pack up your stuff, will be sending out a notice of resignation to the office and that if he needs you for training you would be willing to come in for a few days (nothing excessive). Good luck!

Re: RP from LIF: What to do about a boss who won't let you quit? (long)

Even your co-workers aren't acting like you're leaving? What the heck? I guess they won't realize that you resigned until you stop coming in! You can't do anymore - it s ucks that they're all making what should be an easy exit more difficult and weird than it ever needed to be.

Re: RP from LIF: What to do about a boss who won't let you quit? (long)

He can't hold you hostage!

You gave notice in wriitng--the date was finalized. Send out notifcation that you are leaving. Finalize what projects you can. Just ignore his craziness.
It's like an obsessive boyfriend--you can't give hm any hope.

And don't get stuck in the post in my DH was, where he left for a different division & his replacement kept emailing him a for help--up to a year later!

Re: RP from LIF: What to do about a boss who won't let you quit? (long)

you already put in your resignation. they will realise it when you do not show up.

be firm and make sure to confirm that you are leaving, yet again.

sorry you have to deal with this.

if anything, just tell them you are moving.

Re: RP from LIF: What to do about a boss who won't let you quit? (long)

Please do not have any guilt feelings.

You have helped them already by staying longer than originally anticipated. You cannot be responsible that they are in denial.

You last day is what it is.... your last day.

Be polite and professional and tell them that you made other plans based on the 5 week notice you gave them.

Re: RP from LIF: What to do about a boss who won't let you quit? (long)

You need to tell them that as of 3pm..pick a time, that you are leaving. Let them know how you need to pursue other professional interests and cannot spend any more time working here.

Offer to speak to your replacement on the phone and guide him/her through some things, but end it there.

Wish them well, thank them and then walk out the door.

Re: RP from LIF: What to do about a boss who won't let you quit? (long)

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Posted by JanuaryBride06

... you can choose not to say anything - you've formally resigned, you'll be cleaning out your desk - it's not like you surprised them with this.

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You gave 5 WEEKS NOTICE. Along with having already given the job a second chance, you are done negotiating. When it's time for you to leave, LEAVE, wish everybody well, and be OUT. You are under no obligation whatsoever to remain, and do NOT feel guility for wanting to move on and improve your quality of career-life.

Re: RP from LIF: What to do about a boss who won't let you quit? (long)

Jen, what's going on today?

Re: RP from LIF: What to do about a boss who won't let you quit? (long)

You gave your boss PLENTY of notice to find your replacement. As of the end of business today, you take all your belongings, say goodbye to your coworkers, walk out the door and don't look back.

And don't be surprised if he calls on Monday looking for you. Personally, if that happened, I wouldn't answer the phone because I would be under no obligation to him or the company any more.

Re: RP from LIF: What to do about a boss who won't let you quit? (long)

You gave them enough notice... They cant make you feel guilty they cant make you stay!.. You are obviously leaving because you are not happy .. thinks will change for awhile but they go back to the same crap.. just leave and enjoy yourself on your honeymoon

Re: RP from LIF: What to do about a boss who won't let you quit? (long)

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Posted by JanuaryBride06

Jen, what's going on today?

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The plan is going as expected but I have to come into the office on Monday to pick up our plane tickets because they were sent here! UGH!