RSVP Drama...invites are out 2 days!!!!

OK....so I need to know if I am crazy or not. My FI went home this weekend to see his youngest brother graduate high school(home is in NC). His brother is in the wedding party. So while he was there they got the invitation in the mail. So my FI called me and said they (brother and mother) got the invites and they were bent!!! OK no big deal it seems like it was just them and not all the invites. then he proceeds to tell me that he wants to know if he can get verbal RSVPs from his mother and brother. Who btw are invited with spouse (not father) and date. I said no just tell them to put them in the mail..the envlope has a stamp on it...well can I tell you he argued with me for hours about how unreasonable I am being (rigid was a word he used often) and how they should just be able to say verbaly who is coming and that we know they are coming etc etc. I said that we dont know if the brother is bringing a date or if his step father is gong to make the trip...

Sorry long...but I am still anoyed about this...my FI says that people are going to call and RSVP and I am not going to be able to do anything about it...

Why cant people just mail it...I went though all the trouble to get stamps that matched and everything!!!!

Any advice if people call? do I tell them to send the card in?

edited for spelling

FH says the same BS to me...they live with my parents who are paying, why should my brothers have to RSVP? B/C you jerk, it's called etiquette and you all b*tch and moan about being adults but treated like kids, this is your chance to act as an adult and sned in your own RSVP....let's not forget that etiquette says anyone over 18 still living at home gets their own invite and should respond on their own.


MEN know none of this and to make matters worse for me, his parents got married in a month and so none of the stuff that applies to our wedding applied to them and they are the ones filling his head with ideas of what to expect...people who have NO experience with this stuff!!!

In the end, it's just polite and nice to RSVP properly...and I am using the cards for the seating....so I need them back.

To tell you the truth, I do believe that it is slightly unreasonable to demand close guests to mail back the reply card. I do not expect my parents, FH's parents, siblings and such to mail in the reply card. I know they are coming and that they may like to keep the entire invitation set. If your guests happen to call, you can still mark it in excel and even indicate they they phoned their response if that is relevant to you.

Sorry... JMHO.

I'm sure other guests will mail the reply cards back! I've been invited to weddings down south and the invitations included reply cards.

I'm not expecting our parents to send back the reply card (although I'm sure my mom will because she will want to do it that way).

a few of our guests are given us verbal confirmation too. we simply tell them that we'll make a note but please send back the card anyway cuz it'll help us with assigning seats later. it worked!

i got the same thing

I said I am making a scrapbook and I want to have the original rsvp cards my wedding so I can put some in and the others I want to save with my wedding albums

I received the cards back from everyone including my parents. In fact the people that were the closest to us wrote something very special on the rsvps. I do as well when I rsvp to a wedding. If they went through all the trouble to send it out, you should comply regardless of who you are. Why did you even send an invite? That should be your comeback. Ok, then if I know you're going I won't bother sending you an invitation so you don't have to bother sending me the stamped rsvp.

Common courtesy folks..let them plan a wedding from soup to nuts and keep everything organized.

So the question is...why should I pay all that money in stamps if people are going to call... my point was...what is the benefit to not sending in the RSVP...all they have to do is check, lick and place (in the mailbox)...this does not seem difficult to me. Plus I tried to explain to my FI that is everyone called to RSVP that would be 100 phone calls I would have to recieve...not him (cause he is not home most nights). To me this is too much!!!! As far as close relatives (parents etc.) my parents, sister and close friends (that I know are coming) are sending it back...so what makes his family so worthy of an exception...I am sorry this really got to me...it is so small compared to all the big things involved in wedding planning...why purposefully be difficult.

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Posted by dbleplay17

i got the same thing

I said I am making a scrapbook and I want to have the original rsvp cards my wedding so I can put some in and the others I want to save with my wedding albums

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Oh and I am going to say this...no one could argue with this...also the seating chart thing is good too.

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Posted by CaseyVM214

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Posted by dbleplay17

i got the same thing

I said I am making a scrapbook and I want to have the original rsvp cards my wedding so I can put some in and the others I want to save with my wedding albums

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Oh and I am going to say this...no one could argue with this...also the seating chart thing is good too.

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You guys are geniuses!!!

I get so annoyed at people who call. If I went to the trouble of mailing an invite with a self addressed stamped RSVP card, the least you can do is mail it back!!!!

This is crazy...everyone knows that they should mail out the response card...why do they make things difficult...

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Posted by ewickens

I'm having every guest, including parents send that RSVP card back - I'm tracking on excel and I want a paper trail, so none of them can come back to me and b*tch and complain!!1 Get it in writing - there's a reason we spend the money providing stamps on these things!!!!!!!

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thanks girls I feel better. I guess I am not the only one who is 'rigid' as my FI puts it...sometimes i think his family just likes to make things difficult.

The things a bride has to deal with is ridiculous...people have no appreciation for the effort it takes to put on a wedding!!!