Rules for Mom of the Bride

Original post by JPC1125

Oct 11, 2004 07:55 PM

Ok so after thinking about my other post about my mom whose being a pain, I think im gonna come up with a list of rules for her to follow until after my wedding
Help me come up with some based on your own experiences!!!

Maybe if we come up with alot, we can then do a MIL one or maybe a Wedding Contract that all our relatives have to follow !!! LOL What do you think

Rule #1 No mentioning of money EVER...unless you are totally paying for the wedding or a portion thereof

DMcK Posted: Oct 11, 2004 10:27 PM

Re: Rules for Mom of the Bride

Posted by DebMaher

Well, Randi, I must exempt my mom then -- BUT I WILL NOMINATE AND TRIPLE VOTE FOR THE FMIL!

How about a rules for FMIL thread. I love mine dearly but would imagine that would be some thread!

randella Posted: Oct 11, 2004 10:28 PM

Re: Rules for Mom of the Bride

Posted by DebMaher

Well, Randi, I must exempt my mom then -- BUT I WILL NOMINATE AND TRIPLE VOTE FOR THE FMIL!

Sorry.. those are not fun to deal with.

DebMaher Posted: Oct 11, 2004 10:30 PM

Re: Rules for Mom of the Bride

Well, my mom has been so blase, this is her third and final wedding -- FMIL is doing her first, for her only son, with the next daughter a teen so SHE IS COMPLETELY OVERBOARD! She is interested in everything and wants to have this gala -- while all I want is a quiet small intimate event.

randella Posted: Oct 11, 2004 10:32 PM

Re: Rules for Mom of the Bride

Well, this is my mom's second.. but my bro got married in Canada, to a Canadian-- so, my parents were barely involved in that.. So, this is it..

FMIL- this is the first for them-- but, they don't have too many opinions.. except on contracts, etc. FFIL in a lawyer.

My dad on the other hand-- NIGHTMARE.. He is the jewish mother in the family.

DMcK Posted: Oct 11, 2004 10:33 PM

Re: Rules for Mom of the Bride

Posted by DebMaher

Well, my mom has been so blase, this is her third and final wedding -- FMIL is doing her first, for her only son, with the next daughter a teen so SHE IS COMPLETELY OVERBOARD! She is interested in everything and wants to have this gala -- while all I want is a quiet small intimate event.

That must be so frustrating, esp since you want to make sure you build the foundation for a good relationship. What I am learning though is it has to be about you and FH at all times. Not always the easiest in practice but it has to be about you two and your wants as a couple always.

JPC1125 Posted: Oct 11, 2004 10:34 PM

Re: Rules for Mom of the Bride

Ill start a FMIL thread right now...new post coming right up

DebMaher Posted: Oct 11, 2004 10:36 PM

Re: Rules for Mom of the Bride

I dod not want to come off as ungrateful at all. My parents, in their low key fashion have been great and generous. His parents have been exceptionally generous but his mom has such grand ideas for this event when all I really want is something super simple like under a tent in a yard.

DMcK Posted: Oct 11, 2004 10:38 PM

Re: Rules for Mom of the Bride

Posted by DebMaher

I dod not want to come off as ungrateful at all. My parents, in their low key fashion have been great and generous. His parents have been exceptionally generous but his mom has such grand ideas for this event when all I really want is something super simple like under a tent in a yard.

I hear you. Overall, you love and appreciate them but it's not perfect.

randella Posted: Oct 11, 2004 10:40 PM

Re: Rules for Mom of the Bride

it's totally understandable.. everyone has a different idea of the day.. And also in our parent's day-- their parents planned the whole wedding soup to nuts. It's a slight generation gap and it's hard to incorporate everyone's ideas..

Luckily- we only need to deal (mostly) with me and FH's ideas..

DebMaher Posted: Oct 11, 2004 10:40 PM

Re: Rules for Mom of the Bride

Well just that her vision of transforming th Puck into some sort of themed enchanted forest has no interest for me -- I always wanted a simple wedding with the emphasis on elegance. So she is doing all this work and willing to spend all this $$ but we want different things.

Princess047 Posted: Oct 11, 2004 10:41 PM

Re: Rules for Mom of the Bride

Rule #18

No negative comments about what colors I pick or what I choose (ex. invitations, bridesmaid dresses, favors) for my wedding.

JPC1125 Posted: Oct 11, 2004 10:43 PM

Re: Rules for Mom of the Bride

rule # 19

when you go dress shopping do not a) cry with every dress i put on or b) hate every dress i put on cause its not one you picked out

randella Posted: Oct 11, 2004 10:43 PM

Re: Rules for Mom of the Bride

Posted by DebMaher

Well just that her vision of transforming th Puck into some sort of themed enchanted forest has no interest for me -- I always wanted a simple wedding with the emphasis on elegance. So she is doing all this work and willing to spend all this $$ but we want different things.

nip it in the bud...

tell her what you want-- and incorporate some of her ideas into details.. could that work? How does FH feel?

rcs Posted: Oct 11, 2004 10:51 PM

Re: Rules for Mom of the Bride

Rule #20
Just because YOUR wedding cost $6,000 23 years ago does NOT mean mine can or will even come close!!!!

JPC1125 Posted: Oct 11, 2004 10:54 PM

Re: Rules for Mom of the Bride

Good one RCS!!!! So true for me too

JLP Posted: Oct 11, 2004 11:06 PM

Re: Rules for Mom of the Bride

You girls are awesome! This is my new favorite thread. Here's a few:

#21) The Commandment 'Honor thy mother and father', does not apply when working on the guest list. God doesn't have parents, he can't possibly understand.

#22) Don't say, 'Well, it is YOUR wedding'. I am FULLY aware that this is my wedding. This is simply your way of expressing dissatisfaction with one of my decisions.

Dooodles Posted: Oct 12, 2004 09:22 AM

Re: Rules for Mom of the Bride

#23 Just because I am not getting a 'traditional' wedding gown, doesn't mean you should light up when I try one on and then say 'You don't look very bridal' when I announce that I've found MY dress in something simple. How can I not look bridal in a gown, tiara and headpiece???? um, hello???????

nylibride Posted: Oct 12, 2004 09:29 AM

Re: Rules for Mom of the Bride

#24 (I love this thread) Do not say 'whatever you want, honey...' followed within 5 minutes by 'there are just some things I cannot be flexible about...do you want to break your mother's heart'
(especially true if we are following earlier rules about who is actually paying for the soiree)

and
#25 No, you can't wear a tiara

I would just like to mention, I do love my mom. She's a character.