Rules of Commuting

This is inspired by the train etiquette post, and by yet another encounter with a presumptuous asshat on my way to work this morning (who I quickly yelled at).

By Car:
1. Don't pace people. Unless you enjoy hearing me drop the C word at the top of my lungs as I finally pass you.

2. Pay attention! Those traffic lights? They dictate traffic patterns, so follow them! At red, stop. At green, go. Don't wait for a full 30 seconds to go at a green light. People will kill you.

3. While getting coffee, keep your trap shut. No one wants to chit-chat with a stranger at 8am. Get your coffee, have your money ready and get the hell out of the way.

4. After getting your coffee, don't sit in your car in the parking lot for an extended period of time. You're taking up a spot for no reason. And, if your window is rolled down, do not greet people as they walk past your big-@ss, space-wasting car. Go to work, already!

5. Most importanly, do not under any circumstance buy lottery tickets, quick-picks, etc on the way to work. You're holding up the line. People have more important things to do than watch you hog the counter to play scratch-offs or buy 30 lottery tickets with your special formula of lucky numbers.

By Train

1. In the morning, keep your yap shut. No one wants to make friends that early.

2. Again, no leaning on the posts.

3. Your feet don't need a seat of their own. Neither does your bagel, your bag, your umbrella, or your hat. Pick your stupid stuff up and hold onto it like a normal person, you animal!

4. If you push someone, expect to be pushed back.

5. When exiting the the train/subway, keep moving. Don't mosey around in little stops and starts. You'll get trampled and no one will care.

6. When you're on a bus or train or subway and you see someone who is older, looks sick or tired, carrying many packages or just looks like they could use the rest, offer your seat, regardless of your gender! Not because it's chivalrous, because it's polite you @ss!

I love # 6, unfortunately many people don't do the right thing. It infuriates me since I always do it.

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Posted by jen110704

That is so true. Especially the part about the lotto tickets. let me just pay for my coffee, why do feel the need to spend $50 on scratch offs and quick pick's this early in the morninge. Get a life.

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This is big in the convience store in my office building.

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Posted by MonkeyLuv


6. When you're on a bus or train or subway and you see someone who is older, looks sick or tired, carrying many packages or just looks like they could use the rest, offer your seat, regardless of your gender! Not because it's chivalrous, because it's polite you @ss!

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People frequently offer me a seat. I wonder if I fall into any of those categories?

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Posted by tourist

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Posted by MonkeyLuv


6. When you're on a bus or train or subway and you see someone who is older, looks sick or tired, carrying many packages or just looks like they could use the rest, offer your seat, regardless of your gender! Not because it's chivalrous, because it's polite you @ss!

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People frequently offer me a seat. I wonder if I fall into any of those categories?

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They do? Tourist , we basically take the same train and I've NEVER been offered a seat .. I'm not sure if that is good for me, good for you .. or what

I often think when the day comes and I'm humungously preggo if I'll ever get offered a seat when the train is packed

Can I add....please don't sit next to me and then pull out messy smelly food and eat it while sitting an inch away from. It's just GROSS!!

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Posted by Chloegirl

Can I add....please don't sit next to me and then pull out messy smelly food and eat it while sitting an inch away from. It's just GROSS!!

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AMEN! I have a very sensitive stomach, especially in the morning .. when i smell eggs and bacon at 8am I want to heave

I encountered 2 of them this morning! The lotto and the park-n-greet!

I pulled into a spot and the car to the left of me had 2 middle-aged guys in it. The window was rolled down and as I got out of my car they both said, 'Hello, good morning.' I just ignored them and walked into 7-11. Had to wait for LOTTO guy to buy 5 tickets. When I walked back to my car, the guy in the passenger seat said to me, 'I said good morning to you...'
I was instantly pissed off! So I turned to him and said 'Yeah, I ignored you, jack@ss. Now shut the hell up and go to work!'

It's always middle-aged men who pull that creepy, hitting-on-you-and-scolding-you-at-the-same-time crap. I am so tired of the presumption!!!

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Posted by MonkeyLuv
So I turned to him and said 'Yeah, I ignored you, jack@ss. Now shut the hell up and go to work!'

It's always middle-aged men who pull that creepy, hitting-on-you-and-scolding-you-at-the-same-time crap. I am so tired of the presumption!!!

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Did you really say it or was that poetic license?

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Posted by MonkeyLuv

1. Don't pace people. Unless you enjoy hearing me drop the C word at the top of my lungs as I finally pass you.

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Liz! The C word!!!!

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5. When exiting the the train/subway, keep moving. Don't mosey around in little stops and starts. You'll get trampled and no one will care.

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I sooo hate these people! I usually tut at them and walk past shaking my head so they know I'm really angry As if they care!!!

I also love the people who like to swerve back and forth while I'm trying to get past them. Stay on one side, asshat!!!!

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Posted by FeliciaDA

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Posted by Chloegirl

Can I add....please don't sit next to me and then pull out messy smelly food and eat it while sitting an inch away from. It's just GROSS!!

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AMEN! I have a very sensitive stomach, especially in the morning .. when i smell eggs and bacon at 8am I want to heave

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Yes I agree... this one evening a woman was right next to me eating overcooked hot dogs with chili and drinking coffee. It was all I could do to keep from vomitting.

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Posted by usuk2004


I sooo hate these people! I usually tut at them and walk past shaking my head so they know I'm really angry As if they care!!!

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OMG!!!! I can't believe you said you 'tut' at them!!!! (this is VERY big in my family!!!)

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Posted by FeliciaDA

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Posted by tourist

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Posted by MonkeyLuv


6. When you're on a bus or train or subway and you see someone who is older, looks sick or tired, carrying many packages or just looks like they could use the rest, offer your seat, regardless of your gender! Not because it's chivalrous, because it's polite you @ss!

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People frequently offer me a seat. I wonder if I fall into any of those categories?

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They do? Tourist , we basically take the same train and I've NEVER been offered a seat .. I'm not sure if that is good for me, good for you .. or what

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I know , its weird. I usuall thinkit means I look pregnant Sometimes it happens on the shuttle or the 1/9 but usually the Metro North.

Last week, I as standing & looking around, just being nosy, mostly, I guess someone guy thought I was lookinf for a seat & said there's a seat over there--and point to the seat in the group seat that no one can use b/c everyone's legs are in the way.
umm, thanks, but no thanks.

There is a pregnant women on my train & usually people give her as seat, but they don't get up, usually they just move ther stuff of that hard to get to corner seat.

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Posted by tourist

I know , its weird. I usuall thinkit means I look pregnant Sometimes it happens on the shuttle or the 1/9 but usually the Metro North.

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Maybe people in Westchester are just nicer...

here's one that makes me boil...

when the subway is SO crowded you don't even need to hang on because you are so smooshed you can never fall and someone HAS TO READ THE PAPER so it's like in your face or against your back...

It's like- there's no room for you-- why do you think there's room for your paper???

Another one is- I know men need to spread their legs or else it's painful- but when sitting in the subway seats do you need to take up 3 of them????

OMG, Farah, you know what I do in stores? This kills Mr Boots!

If I'm trying to get by and someone or a group is just standing there, blocking the walkway, I stamp my heels really sharply and click my teeth! Like horsebackriding! It's like people need that reminder or prod to keep them moving!

I got it from my sister and her many years of dealing with tourists on the streets of NY!