Sad Bride

Are any of you having problems with your future inlaws? My fmil and fsil are making my life a nightmare. I almost called the wedding off last night. His mom wanted me to buy the 3 fg dresses (all her granddaughters) and wants us to buy her dress, shoes, hair, make up, ffil tux, and pay for their anything else they might need. I have not seen a penny from them. No engagement gift nothing. I don't expect from them and they want it ALL from me. FH is in such an awkward position. I cry all the time now. I don't want to turn into a cry baby bride that is a **tch if she doesn't get her way. I just don't like the attitude fmil has. She is buying an 800 dog next week and is giving me hell over a dress. I told her if she was uncomfortable paying for it she could wear one of my mom's dressy dresses. She said no.

Oh and every time I walk into her house she says you and my son are both fat @$$es. You gonna diet for the wedding?

Any kind words will help girls. In the meantime I will drown my sorrows in a bowl of ice cream. And they can roll me down the aisle

she wants you too pay?! Why cant the parents pay for thr FG dress?? If $$ is an issue take a look on ebay there are some adorable dresses for them and they are under 50$ w/ shipping!
As for her dress...cant she go to Estelles? What does she plan to wear if you guys dont buy it for her?
These in laws are insane...mine are the same! Not a dime yet they tell us what we need to do?!
Sorry you have to go through that!

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Posted by daniebc16

Tell her to shove it where the sun don't shine!! Ha, I know you can only do that in your head...Seriously though, I suggest that everytime she asks that you pay for something ridiculous, just make a joke of it...say something like, 'Well, if I pay for your dress I won't have enough money to pay for your plate at the RH!' Laugh, then WALK AWAY. Do not, under ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, pay for her dress, how rude can a person possibly be. Oh, and when she tells you look fat, just tell her that you are trying to be healthy so you will be ready to have a baby after the wedding...she can't argue with reproduction!

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Man I thought I was having money issues with my FIL's! But that is going way beyond issues! I couldn't agree with daniebc16 more!

WOW!!! She sounds like a handfull!!!

Just do your best to ignore whatever comments she throws your way. Be the better person. BUT your FI SHOULD be saying somethign to them. It's not fair that you have to deal with this on your own. It's both your wedding......

I hope it gets better

i'm so sorry- what an awful position to be in. honestly i've heard of many brides being generous, but i don't know a single one who bought their fmil a dress & all her accessories for the wedding! that is a really unusual expectation. she seems to have forgotten that weddings are usually a time for families to do everything they can to help the new couple get a solid start in life!
don't take her outrageous demands seriously, and tell fh to start putting his foot down! its his family he should be dealing with this & sheilding you a little.
i don't love my fmil- you're not the only one with a tough one... but you really don't have to live up to those demands, they are so unrealistic!
good luck

Don't let her get to you. FH needs to deal with his side of the family. I know that is easier said than done, but you need to put the ball in his court since it is his family.
Whatever you do, don't let her ruin this time for you...try to just say 'screw her' in your head and move on.

i am so sorry that you are being treated that way
have you asked your mom for suggestions??

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Posted by beeinsilly

i am so sorry that you are being treated that way
have you asked your mom for suggestions??

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My mom said to be nice and offer to pay for the dress to keep peace but explain that financially and traditionally that is all. Fmil doesn't care. If she was that hard up for cash I would, but she shops EVERY night for her and her daughter and just spent hundreds of dollars on their dogs. It is out of greed. My mom said do what you can but don't make FH choose between you and his fam. It has just gotten out of control and she is at a loss too!

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Posted by daniebc16

Tell her to shove it where the sun don't shine!! Ha, I know you can only do that in your head...Seriously though, I suggest that everytime she asks that you pay for something ridiculous, just make a joke of it...say something like, 'Well, if I pay for your dress I won't have enough money to pay for your plate at the RH!' Laugh, then WALK AWAY. Do not, under ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, pay for her dress, how rude can a person possibly be. Oh, and when she tells you look fat, just tell her that you are trying to be healthy so you will be ready to have a baby after the wedding...she can't argue with reproduction!

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I second that. Dont pay for it!!!!!

I can't believe what I just read.
I feel so sorry for you

First of all Your FH has to step it up! He has to back you up all the way. I know it is his family but still, come on; That is no way for his mother to treat you, and your FH has to tell her that .

If he is not going to back you up then you are going to have to put your foot down and tell his family to just back off, ( You can do this in a nice but firm way) and you are going to your wedding the way you want to and you are going to pay for the things that you want to pay for and nothing more.

Talk you your FH about this, tell him that you need his support, You are both starting a live together if he can't support you in this whats going to happen in the future?

Again I am sorry, no one should have to go through what you are going through.

First let me say that I am so sorry you have such an a$$hole FMIL. Next I would say that due to the way she is acting I would tell her you are not paying for anything for her and if she doesn't like it-don't come.

She sounds like the definition of Monster-in-law!!
I agree- Do not pay for any of her necessities. It's easy to spout out demands & not contribute 1 red cent. If she brings it up again just say that you really CANNOT afford it. Sorry that FH does not back you up. You are his family now & he needs to start putting her in her place.
I don't even know how some people have the nerve to say certain things!!!

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Posted by Val

He has to 'respect' his mom. Father's orders. In private he appologizes for her too.

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He's a grown up. His mother isn't respecting YOU, his FUTURE WIFE. I'd say that's wrong. She calls you both fat, and he has to respect her?

I would be hysterical too if my FMIL was acting this way. I personally wouldn't give in.

This is seriously something you need to sit down and discuss with FH.

Hope it all works out....

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Posted by snydl40

First let me say that I am so sorry you have such an a$$hole FMIL. Next I would say that due to the way she is acting I would tell her you are not paying for anything for her and if she doesn't like it-don't come.

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Agreed. Maybe you just have to say it and lay it all out for anything to change.

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Posted by snydl40

First let me say that I am so sorry you have such an a$$hole FMIL. Next I would say that due to the way she is acting I would tell her you are not paying for anything for her and if she doesn't like it-don't come.

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i like what she said!! I would have to agree!! I would NOT deal with that!! I would suggest having your FH say something to her. That would just pi$$ me off!!! Thank god I love my FIL's! I would NOt deal with that nonsense! Something needs to be said!