sad... need hugs and prayers for MIL.. long vent

Original post by 2003OCT10

Oct 09, 2004 08:40 PM

Two very long years my MIL has put up a Mighty fight against Cancer.

One year ago this weekend she was still battling, but danced like she was seventeen at our wedding. Sadly enough, last night she was admitted to St. Catherines of Siena (the hospice center inside) for what the Dr.'s and nurses are calling 'her last couple of days'.

My DH is strong, and doing very well with this all. His mother raised him and his brothers in a very christian household.... And he knows that she's 'going home to Jesus'.

I love my MIL like a mother... We have a very close relationship, and I am NOT handling this well at all. The way I was raised is to be strong for my DH, and be his support... and I feel like I am doing a $h!tty job, because all I am doing is crying like a 3 year old who lost his blankey....

I know she will be 'in a better place' and 'won't be suffering any longer' but it is so hard, watching this very vibrant woman leave before my very eyes. The toughest part is last night, before the ambulette picked her up, I took alex there to say his 'goodbye'--- It was so sad.

I held him and told him to give grandma a kiss and tell her he loves her very much and he kissed my MIL and gave her a big hug. And then she asked for another one. I almost lost it.. I had to leave immediately with him, and just sank to my knees at her driveway sobbing and holding Alex....

I have gone through many losses throughout my life, and just started to have faith in a 'god' again. And now I am back at square one, so f-ing pissed off... at god, at life, at this whole friggen situation... I wish I could just pull it together already.. and I just really need some hugs.....

Thanks in advance.......

frosty Posted: Oct 10, 2004 10:39 AM

Re: sad... need hugs and prayers for MIL.. long vent

I'm so sorry.

palebride Posted: Oct 10, 2004 11:24 AM

Re: sad... need hugs and prayers for MIL.. long vent

hbradio Posted: Oct 10, 2004 11:42 AM

Re: sad... need hugs and prayers for MIL.. long vent

I am so sorry.

allaboutthecake Posted: Oct 10, 2004 02:26 PM

Re: sad... need hugs and prayers for MIL.. long vent

I almost started crying when I read that so I can't imagine how awful this must be for you. I am so sorry.

marymoon Posted: Oct 10, 2004 02:45 PM

Re: sad... need hugs and prayers for MIL.. long vent

Well, I know you don't want to hear anymore stuff like this, but it's times like this that can actually test your faith and bring you closer to god. I'm praying for your MIL and your entire family. If she's dying peacefully and knows she's going to a better place, then there's nothing more you can ask for. A few minutes,a few hours, days, or years more, maybe, but it's all up to god. Keep trying t be strong, but it's ok to vry, too. DH seems to have a lot of strength about this, and maybe even though it's his mom, he'll have to be strong for you, too..and that's ok..

try to have a happy anniversary. I know it's a really rough way to spend it, but you have to think of it in terms of celebrating life. You and DH have made quite an accomplishment, you've made it through your first year of marriage (usually the toughest, they say), and you should be congratulated, and find some tiny place in your heart for rejoicing, even in such a painful time.

I hope this didn't come across as all hollow words, as I know words cna be at a time like this. I really am praying that everything works out for you. Try to keep positive about your MIL. If she is at peace, then that's wonderful, and maybe there is some small comfort and joy in that to be found. Best Wishes. Keep praying, keep the faith, and give DH a big kiss. it IS your anniversary

Maribelle7777 Posted: Oct 10, 2004 06:07 PM

Re: sad... need hugs and prayers for MIL.. long vent

IrishTracy Posted: Oct 10, 2004 06:48 PM

Re: sad... need hugs and prayers for MIL.. long vent

You & your family are in my prayers!!

cocoa Posted: Oct 10, 2004 06:55 PM

Re: sad... need hugs and prayers for MIL.. long vent

you are not doing a $hitty job...you are there for him and he knows that. I wish you and your family much love and peace.

luckybride2004 Posted: Oct 11, 2004 09:06 AM

Re: sad... need hugs and prayers for MIL.. long vent

Oh, Lauren, your family is in my thoughts and prayers. I know there are so few words that can take the pain away so I will give you a few more I'm so sorry you are going through this.