I can appreciate everyone's honesty...but it only leads me to question, do people who are against it or not sure see homosexuals as people?
i have some gay friends so yes they are people in my book
okay and other than what they do in the privacy of their own home, what is the difference between you and your friends? I apologize, I just can't grasp why someone, let's say my very accomplished gay sister, is being told that she can't have the same happiness that I have?
don424
Posted:
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Re: Same Sex Marriage
everyone has the right to happiness and i have no problem with two gay people building a life together
i just don't believe it should be called a 'marriage'
kinda like the equal but separate argument
PrincessRose
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Re: Same Sex Marriage
Posted by suven
I don't know. One of my good friends is going to have a commitment ceremony ( I think she called it something else, though)
Although, by NJ law, a man and woman do NOT even have to be in LOVE to get 'married'. Marriage is a legal commitment, but there is no reference to 'love' in NJ law. go figure!
You want to talk NJ law?
NJ Law Allows FIRST COUSINS to marry.
If the point of marriage is to 'have children' this law seems to have missed the whole point of banning incest in the first place - to prevent children with genetic disorders.
I have said it a BILLION times - I want to protect marriage from those who truly want to destroy it - Britney Spears and Rupert Murdock (owner of Fox).
While I can respect other people's misgivings on the subject, what I don't understand is what it matters to them. If two men get married, there is no possible way that it will affect your life.
JimmysBride
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Re: Same Sex Marriage
Posted by Janice
Posted by don424
Posted by Janice
I can appreciate everyone's honesty...but it only leads me to question, do people who are against it or not sure see homosexuals as people?
i have some gay friends so yes they are people in my book
okay and other than what they do in the privacy of their own home, what is the difference between you and your friends? I apologize, I just can't grasp why someone, let's say my very accomplished gay sister, is being told that she can't have the same happiness that I have?
Being that I fall into the unsure category, I think I should answer this post and say that Yes, I do see homosexuals as people. I wouldn't think it was okay for them to adopt human children if I thought they 'weren't people'.
And, let me clarify something too. I would never campaign AGAINST gay marriages and I would never be the one to tell someone they couldn't marry if they were gay. Gay marriages could become legal nationwide tomorrow and all it would mean is that I didn't agree with it. There are plenty of other laws I don't agree with that have nothing to do with homosexuality.
don424
Posted:
Member since
Re: Same Sex Marriage
i respect that opinion and i think that these hollywood marriages have tarnished the sanctity of marriage that we really have lost focus of what a marriage is
but i still say that when a situation is different, then it should not have the same term and conditions applied to it, because then it defeats the purpose of defining things in the first place
don424
Posted:
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Re: Same Sex Marriage
Posted by JimmysBride
Posted by Janice
Posted by don424
Posted by Janice
I can appreciate everyone's honesty...but it only leads me to question, do people who are against it or not sure see homosexuals as people?
i have some gay friends so yes they are people in my book
okay and other than what they do in the privacy of their own home, what is the difference between you and your friends? I apologize, I just can't grasp why someone, let's say my very accomplished gay sister, is being told that she can't have the same happiness that I have?
Being that I fall into the unsure category, I think I should answer this post and say that Yes, I do see homosexuals as people. I wouldn't think it was okay for them to adopt human children if I thought they 'weren't people'.
And, let me clarify something too. I would never campaign AGAINST gay marriages and I would never be the one to tell someone they couldn't marry if they were gay. Gay marriages could become legal nationwide tomorrow and all it would mean is that I didn't agree with it. There are plenty of other laws I don't agree with that have nothing to do with homosexuality.
bullseye
myasmom
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Re: Same Sex Marriage
Posted by Janice
I can appreciate everyone's honesty...but it only leads me to question, do people who are against it or not sure see homosexuals as people?
Yes, I have gay friends and infact a member of my BP was a lesbian and we have been friend forever...and she respects my opinion. Whioch brings me to a point..my homosexual friends tend to respect my point more than the heterosexuals who feel the need to rally for them..thats just an observation from my circle..not teh whole world.
CubanBride
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Re: Same Sex Marriage
It's easy to oppose same sex marraiges. Most religions oppose it as an abomination. So if you are truly religious person who follows that religion's laws, the you would be opposed to it. Simple as that.
heidla
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Re: Same Sex Marriage
Posted by JimmysBride
And, let me clarify something too. I would never campaign AGAINST gay marriages and I would never be the one to tell someone they couldn't marry if they were gay. Gay marriages could become legal nationwide tomorrow and all it would mean is that I didn't agree with it. There are plenty of other laws I don't agree with that have nothing to do with homosexuality.
The thing is that it is likely that this issue will be one that is voted on by the people of this country. I keep seeing a lot of you say that you don't campaign against it, but would you vote against it?
myasmom
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Re: Same Sex Marriage
Posted by heidla
Posted by JimmysBride
And, let me clarify something too. I would never campaign AGAINST gay marriages and I would never be the one to tell someone they couldn't marry if they were gay. Gay marriages could become legal nationwide tomorrow and all it would mean is that I didn't agree with it. There are plenty of other laws I don't agree with that have nothing to do with homosexuality.
The thing is that it is likely that this issue will be one that is voted on by the people of this country. I keep seeing a lot of you say that you don't campaign against it, but would you vote against it?
I would not make it a personal vendetta to vote against it nor when it comes to presidential candidates is it the deciding factor. On a vote pertaining solely on this issue I probably would not vote...let those who make this their personal issue decide for themselves. Not everyone is on a path to stop recognition..wSome just choose not to recognize the union for whatever reason.
Here is my stance..have same sex marraige if you want..regardless of if it is considered a marraige..its not a term I personally will use in my vocabulary. Will I still continue to respect everyone as an individual..you betcha..Will I teach my child that homosexuality is not condoned in our family you betcha..if she ever comes out of the closet..does that mean I will love her less..no. I love my gay friends like I do my hetero..we just share a different viewpoint yet able to love each other like true friends do.
MamanDaddyof2
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Re: Same Sex Marriage
I feel that we do not have the right to tell other people how to live their lives as long as you are of the legal age you should be able to marry the person you love
sabella5804
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Re: Same Sex Marriage
Okay...I'm mostly a lurker who has had too much to drink tonight but...
My husband is Jewish. I was raised Catholic, although to call me lapsed would be an understatement. All I can think when I consider this topic is that 40 or 50 years ago, in certain states, it may well have been illegal for us to marry. And all I can think is what a horrible tragedy it would be -- I had a 5 year relationship with a 'wonderful' Christian boy who did the most un-Godly things to me and treated me like dirt...and this wonderful man, who treats me like a goddess would, at some point in time, not have been considered worthy of being my husband? If I were to believe in God again it would be to thank him for bring this man in to my life...
How can you deny love, no matter is size, or shape, or form? Marriage is not necessarily a religious issue -- because of our differing backgrounds, we had an interfaith officiant who belongs to no church -- but we are legally bound, one to the other -- and everyone deserves that right, in my opinon. I wish everyone in the world could have what we have -- whether you're green or purple, gay or straight, I think the world would be a better place if everyone could feel what we feel with the security and sanctity that we feel it.
Again, JMHO, and excuse my entirely too much Beaujolais...
BMD'sPeanut
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Re: Same Sex Marriage
Posted by Janice
I can't believe that this is even still an issue...I feel like it would solve so many other issues if marriage was allowed. It would not force gay people to marry into opposite sex relationships, leading to infidelity, disease,and heartache.
lolita4life
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Re: Same Sex Marriage
its sad that not everyone has equal rights.
JimmysBride
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Re: Same Sex Marriage
Posted by heidla
Posted by JimmysBride
And, let me clarify something too. I would never campaign AGAINST gay marriages and I would never be the one to tell someone they couldn't marry if they were gay. Gay marriages could become legal nationwide tomorrow and all it would mean is that I didn't agree with it. There are plenty of other laws I don't agree with that have nothing to do with homosexuality.
The thing is that it is likely that this issue will be one that is voted on by the people of this country. I keep seeing a lot of you say that you don't campaign against it, but would you vote against it?
I'm sorta with myasmom on this. If the vote was just on this issue alone - I wouldn't vote. If it lay in the hands of the candidate I was voting for, his/her position on same sex marriage would not be the deciding factor for me.
cmastro25
Posted:
Member since
Re: Same Sex Marriage
For it! I have gay and lesbian friends and why shouldn't they be able to marry when the meet that special person and fall in love just like the rest of us do. I really don't see the big deal. I know the argument is that it devalues the 'sanctity' of marriage. I don't get how someone else's marriage or relationship for that matter has anything to do with mine.
mccarm
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Re: Same Sex Marriage
Yes, I realize that I have unearthed an incredibly old thread, but I felt that since I'm gay, I kinda had to represent if you will....
First off, glad to see that the poll is in my favor. I hold out hope that by the time September of next year rolls around, I'll be able to have the legal consumation of my 5+ year relationship.
The reasons why marriage is important to me might be surprising to you. First off, love has very little to do with it. No law, court ruling or act of congress will alter the depth of emotion in my heart. Yes, many of you are right in saying 'love is love.' My partner and I face the same relationship challenges as hetero couples - we fight, we make up, we work on the landscaping and pay the mortgage. Our life is so 'normal' that sometimes I forget that there is anything different at all about us as a couple.
There are two primary reasons that marriage is important to me - first lets cover the financial reason. Because we are not allowed to marry, we are viewed effectively as strangers in the eyes of the law when it comes to our shared finances. For example, if I died, when my assets passed to my partner, she would be taxed on these at 40%+. Hetero couples - taxfree.
When it comes to all those great domestic partner benefits employers offer, the fine print nobody talks about is that if you take them up on the offer, you have to pay taxes on the benefits proved as they are viewed as a form of compensation. Hetero couples - again taxfree. I could go on, but I think you get this point.
Second biggie for me is the fact that we intend to have children. A lot of the financial points above apply again to our theoretical kids in the event that one of us dies. Additionally, our ability to make important medical decisions & gain access to our kids is not the same as hetero couples. If my partner and our theoretical child were in an accident and my partner was incapacitated, I would either need to have a stack of legal paperwork on hand to provide the hospital OR would need to get a sympathetic person behind the counter who would allow me to even visit my family in a time of need.
If you want more information on the details of the obstacles faced by same-sex couples, feel free to check out the HRC Family Website
marymoon
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Re: Same Sex Marriage
Thanks so much for sharing that!
frosty
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Re: Same Sex Marriage
A good friend of mine from college was supposed to get married in December to his partner in NJ. Unfortunately, his partner had to have emergency surgery and it looks like they will have to postpone it.
It was funny at my shower (we had guys and girls there) and we were talking about where we each were in our planning. Unfortunately, however, he had some problems with vendors because it was not a 'hetero' wedding. It saddens me that they have to deal with discrimination.
mccarm
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Re: Same Sex Marriage
Posted by frosty
A good friend of mine from college was supposed to get married in December to his partner in NJ. Unfortunately, his partner had to have emergency surgery and it looks like they will have to postpone it.
It was funny at my shower (we had guys and girls there) and we were talking about where we each were in our planning. Unfortunately, however, he had some problems with vendors because it was not a 'hetero' wedding. It saddens me that they have to deal with discrimination.
We've been pretty fortunate in our dealings with vendors. I've been up front about the situation and had one photographer who was honest and said he probably wouldn't be comfortable. I much prefer the honesty up front to someone not performing up to expectation because of their hangups. I've also tried to use vendors who've done SS weddings before - a big plus in my book.
I also think that the guys out there face a lot more discrimination that the ladies. Much of the homophobia I've seen is really rooted in discrimination regarding gender norms. Planning a fabulous wedding falls well within the gender role boundaries for me as a woman but this is not the case for the men...
