Save the Date vs. Invite

seguenther Posted: Jun 21, 2007 04:13 PM

Save the Date vs. Invite

A number of people have replied to my 'Save the date' that they will be unable to attend the wedding. (out of town usually). Do I still send them an invitation out of politeness? Or will they feel like 'hello, I already told you I can't come?'

What do you think?

cindyandkevin Posted: Jun 21, 2007 04:23 PM

Re: Save the Date vs. Invite

Send them an invitation anyway. Sometimes things change and this gives them a 2nd chance to come.

tricia3381 Posted: Jun 21, 2007 04:24 PM

Re: Save the Date vs. Invite

yes etiquette says to still send them one.

magbride Posted: Jun 21, 2007 04:27 PM

Re: Save the Date vs. Invite

I agree, send them one anyway.
Darn, I was hoping people would tell me they couldn't attend after I sent out STDs....trying to get this list down

seguenther Posted: Jun 21, 2007 04:35 PM

Re: Save the Date vs. Invite

Thanks for the feedback!

I know, happy to get the list down!

GinaZ Posted: Jun 21, 2007 04:45 PM

Re: Save the Date vs. Invite

I'd send it anyway incase their plans change by then and to be polite.

Summer07Bride Posted: Jun 21, 2007 07:15 PM

Re: Save the Date vs. Invite

Posted by cindyandkevin

Send them an invitation anyway. Sometimes things change and this gives them a 2nd chance to come.

I agree

nifheim Posted: Jun 21, 2007 09:56 PM

Re: Save the Date vs. Invite

don't waste your money and use it elsewhere. I know its 'proper' but honestly the guest was kind enough to tell you they couldn't make it and why harass them further. It makes it seem like your asking for a gift then.. thats how i see it.

I wish my guests had some tack and gave me a heads up if they were coming or not. STD's were just a waste to me because i was hoping to get feedback.

I realize i am the only one that will think this because honestly when i get a std and i know i am not going i tell the couple and kindly ask them not to send a invite this way they can save the money and put it elsewhere.

Saram Posted: Jun 22, 2007 07:29 AM

Re: Save the Date vs. Invite

I think it depends on how close you are with the people...if its like your cousin or good friend i wouldnt send but if its someone you arent all that close with i would still send it... you can always explain it to your family and close friends if they had a problem with it..

LeslieMike Posted: Jun 22, 2007 07:50 AM

Re: Save the Date vs. Invite

I plan on sending the save the dates between 6-8 months before my wedding and then send the invites 3 months before. All of my guests are from out of town and its good to remind them again with an official invite. My FH has all his family here so we probably wont send them the Save the Dates.

Kara and Todd Posted: Jun 22, 2007 09:08 AM

Re: Save the Date vs. Invite

Absolutely send an invite still. Trust me, people will not feel harassed, but they will probably notice if you don't send an invite.

Also things change - maybe they will wind up being able to come.

Yes, it's a rule of etiquette, but I also think this is just plain common courtesy -- if you send a STD, you send a wedding invite.

A few extra invites + postage isn't going to break the bank, and it's hardly money that will make a real difference elsewhere.

Kara and Todd Posted: Jun 22, 2007 09:09 AM

Re: Save the Date vs. Invite

Posted by Saram

I think it depends on how close you are with the people...if its like your cousin or good friend i wouldnt send but if its someone you arent all that close with i would still send it... you can always explain it to your family and close friends if they had a problem with it..

I think it's just as important if not more to send the invite to close friends and family who can't make it. They are the most likely to want to see the invite and the most likely to be hurt if you don't send it.

We're talking a couple extra dollars here - really not a huge expense or giant hassle.