Second Thoughts About Everything

I just feel completely frustrated right now...

My dream wedding (and by dream I mean one that was going to fit within my $20,000) budget..doesn't even seem possible anymore. We already pushed it from summer of 08 to summer of 09..and there's no way I'm pushing it back another year.

A little history:
My FH is going through the process of becoming a Court Officer, this is a process that has been going on well over a year already...but we don't know exactly when he'll start. He works at a decent place right now, but he hasn't wanted to switch jobs since he has been waiting on the court officer thing. The silver-lining here is that he recieved a letter from the Court Officer job saying he excelled on all of the tests and they they are interesting in hiring him but now he has to wait for an opening.. the bad part is , they can't even give him a window of when that will be...so it's a waiting game...and we're running out of time..

As for me - I quit my job a few months ago because I was in a really bad situation there...and I want to say I regret quitting but at the same time I'd be destroying myself if I stayed. Long story short - I still can't find a new job...and the worse part is that I can't take trains or buses by myself because I have panic attacks This ***** in more ways than one, because it really stops me from doing a lot of things in my life..so there goes any income on my side unless by some miracle theres an open position around here sometime soon...I just feel so depressed and frustarted and I don't know what I can do?

So back to the wedding - Basically financially we're stuck..and we don't know what to do. We haven't even booked a hall yet and I'm scared I'll have to settle if I wait much longer. We're pretty sure we could make the payments, but we dont want to run short on the money. If things would just fall into place it would be so much easier but I am so scared of not being able to afford it. I want to at least look at places to get an idea of what place I want, but once I think about the money - I get lazy and upset about it.

Sorry for rambling but I just have so much on my mind right now. Plus, my mother needs help paying bills and FH and I are helping her out. FH has a seperate account for my engagement ring (for those who don't remember he proposed with a diff. ring but wants me to design my own, and we finally got in touch with the jeweler to design it for me) and he refuses to touch that account even thought I said I'd rather the money go towards the wedding, but he really wants to get me my ring. I just feel like we can't get ahead.

So instead of having my pink-themed beach wedding by the water, I'm considering having a winter wedding in like Feb or March in maybe a place like Leonards, The Coral House or Floral Terrace..I have summer quotes for Floral Terrace, but if anyone can give me any quotes for any of those places I would really, really appreciate it. I just want to see how much more do-able it would be if I changed it to a winter wedding...

Sorry for rambling girls, but I was in tears last nite thinking about this and I can't shake the thought today...thanks for listening!!!!

No matter where or when your wedding date is it will always be a day to remember and a day you will treasure. Hang in things will go right into place.

I know its hard to plan a wedding, especially with so many outside factors (like bills) but try not to worry.

You will be a beautiful bride marrying the man of your dreams even if it is at city hall :) Which I know is the most important for you :)

Hang in there darling, something great is going to happen!!

sorry to hear about your situation! when theres a will, theres a way hun!

why dont you try one of those all inclusive halls/cc's ? i know someone mentioned brentwood cc on another thead as being very affordable...

sorry to hear about htis........keep looking though you will find a job!

you could scale back the guest list a little.....
i think its a good decision to Marry in the off season to save some $$ and it will still be beautiful! Keep looking

Im sorry that you are feeling this way! You'll find a job just give it time!
As for the wedding plans...that sounds great moving it to a different month to cut the cost

can i suggest an idea that my dad had been kinda pushin....

get married justice of the peace or go get married in vegas or even someplace on an island...

and then have a GRAND old party when u return...its a wedding but not all that hype that cost so MUCH money!!!

im sorry your going through this. i can feel your pain with your financial problems though. we still havent booked a hall yet either and i remember you liking the same halls i did. well, im in a similar situation as u but we are thinking of pushing the wedding back a bit. my advice to you is try and have a winter wedding and the prices will change drastically. maybe you can still have it at a place on the water and you can still have your beachy theme, but just in the winter. if you ever wanna talk or vent feel free to fm me

I sent you some FM

Awww, don't let it get you down too much Everything will fall into place. You can put everything on hold until things brighten financially and job-wise; there's no reason to get in over your head just to 'have the wedding.' If you wait till FH gets the CO job, you will have more money to play with and then you won't have to settle. Take care and I hope things work out for you

First heres a hug

When we were planning our wedding, we had a tight budget. We did what we could do and it ended up being the most amazing day and I was NOT expecting comments such as ' Your wedding was so unique' or ' Your wedding was so full of love' and ' Your wedding was one of the most gorgeous weddings ive been too'

We spend less then 15k, we waited 6 months before we planned ANYTHING...cuz we had to save big bucks first. Then we got married quickly 6 months later.

We did our own flowers, invites, seating cards,
I bought my veil, slip and jewelry on ebay. I had four dresses picked out from 3 diff bridal stores, and all my friends voted on my first choice...a Uk designer that cost under 800$....thank God they didnt pick the 4000K eve of milady or even the 2000 dollar no name lol My point...You dont need to spend alot to have an amazing day. Since you dont have the money, it actually makes you more creative.

You just have to thank God you found your true love...cuz in the end after all the wedding things are over....its just the two of you. Your day is really truely what you make of it. ITS NOT a show for other people, its not a competition, its simply all about the two of you. So even if you make it simple its still beautiful.

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Posted by FuTuRe MrS MaZz

sorry to hear about your situation! when theres a will, theres a way hun!

why dont you try one of those all inclusive halls/cc's ? i know someone mentioned brentwood cc on another thead as being very affordable...

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I looked into that when I first started planning, but since I'm going to have a small guestlist I didn't find it really saved me all that much $ by going that route..actually with some of the quotes I got it came out a little cheaper.

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Posted by Summertimegal424

Im sorry that you are feeling this way! You'll find a job just give it time!
As for the wedding plans...that sounds great moving it to a different month to cut the cost

can i suggest an idea that my dad had been kinda pushin....

get married justice of the peace or go get married in vegas or even someplace on an island...

and then have a GRAND old party when u return...its a wedding but not all that hype that cost so MUCH money!!!

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Believe me I thought about that lolz..but when it comes down to it, I want to get married in a church and have my whole family there, FH and I are so family oriented and it does mean a lot to us to have everyone there. Thanks though!!

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Posted by soonT0beMrsD

im sorry your going through this. i can feel your pain with your financial problems though. we still havent booked a hall yet either and i remember you liking the same halls i did. well, im in a similar situation as u but we are thinking of pushing the wedding back a bit. my advice to you is try and have a winter wedding and the prices will change drastically. maybe you can still have it at a place on the water and you can still have your beachy theme, but just in the winter. if you ever wanna talk or vent feel free to fm me

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Yea, I remember us both liking the same halls..we're def. in the same boat!!!!! We should FM and keep in touch and help eachother out with some 'money-saving tips' Sometimes I think pushing it back to Oct is a good idea and the weather is still pretty decent around that time..I'm just not sure how much $ I'll save in Oct since I didn't get any price quotes for that month..but I guess I'll have to ask around!! Def. FM is if you ever want to talk!!!

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Posted by curiousgeorge

First heres a hug

When we were planning our wedding, we had a tight budget. We did what we could do and it ended up being the most amazing day and I was NOT expecting comments such as ' Your wedding was so unique' or ' Your wedding was so full of love' and ' Your wedding was one of the most gorgeous weddings ive been too'

We spend less then 15k, we waited 6 months before we planned ANYTHING...cuz we had to save big bucks first. Then we got married quickly 6 months later.

We did our own flowers, invites, seating cards,
I bought my veil, slip and jewelry on ebay. I had four dresses picked out from 3 diff bridal stores, and all my friends voted on my first choice...a Uk designer that cost under 800$....thank God they didnt pick the 4000K eve of milady or even the 2000 dollar no name lol My point...You dont need to spend alot to have an amazing day. Since you dont have the money, it actually makes you more creative.

You just have to thank God you found your true love...cuz in the end after all the wedding things are over....its just the two of you. Your day is really truely what you make of it. ITS NOT a show for other people, its not a competition, its simply all about the two of you. So even if you make it simple its still beautiful.

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I remember reading your review and you had a GORGEOUS wedding! And your right..I thank God everynite for finding true love because it is rare these days...I don't even want an extravagent wedding, just something that represents us and that I, personally, find beautiful. I joke and say I guess I just have expensive taste lolz, because everything that I like just happens to be $$, but I swear, it's still nothing outrageous..ut's just all the small things add up so quickly!! I wasn't looking for any specific designer when I went looking for my dress either, I just fell in LOVE with a picture online, tried it on and KNEW it was the one..and it only cost around $800 so I was soo happy. My mother offered to pay for my dress (I love her!!!) so regardless, I wouldn't have spent too much. I def. think theres ways to make your wedding GORGEOUS and stay on a budget...and I'm all for finding those ways!!!

Thanks!!

Thank you so much to everyone who posted. You girls are really, really sweet! I don't want to get too mushy, but the support really means a lot!!

For the ones who said that in the end it'll work out, you are right..I just need to hear it often, especially when the credit card bills come!!! hehe.

As far as cutting the guestlist, there's no-one for us to cut lolz. We're only invitiing close family and friends. Parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and a few (like 10) close friends. I come from a VERY big family and FH comes from a sorta big family lolz. We're planning on about 100-120 people, but that's still considered a small wedding.

We really want to have a beautiful/small/intimate wedding and we aren't looking for anything extravegant..thats what gets me frustrated sometimes because I am willing to bend and theres nothing I want (ok I want a lot of stuff, but I know its not realistic for me) that I can't live without. I'm willing to find ways and do a lot of things myself to save money..it just gets frustrating when I think I STILL am going to struggle to have it simple, ya know? There's just so many other places our money is going to right now between our own bills, helping my mom with her bills, and you all know the drill..money just stretches so far. Christmas put us in debt lolz..and I have to plan a Baby Shower for my friend and the majority of it is falling on me..I don't mind, honestly, if money wasn't an issue it would be nothing but fun and I'm happy to do it for her..its just an extra bill for me right now, ya know?

Ok..vent over!! Thanks so much girls. I truly appreciate all of you!!!!

I think it will always seem as if there's not enough money... think about a few years from now having kids and a house... imagine swinging those expenses! Seems crazy but things just fall into place.

Have you cut all unnecessary shopping/expenses out of your budget? When I write down what I spend in a week it makes me crazy and then I try not to spend so much.

Don't worry about the time of year, your wedding will be beautiful anytime and any place. One more consideration for you though - last year we had my sister's bridal shower at the Milleridge Inn Carriage House - it's smaller than the cottage but absolutely gorgeous and it was really reasonable for a shower - you might want to look there. Also keep in mind afternoons, Friday nights and Sundays are much less expensive than Saturday evenings. Good luck and dont give up hope! You will have your dream wedding!