Seeing each other before the ceremony...

What do you guys think about seeing each other before the ceremony??? My fiance doesn't want to because of tradition, and because we're very superstitious. You know, seeing each other before the ceremony is bad luck. Our photographer suggested it would be very helpful to see each other beforehand so we can get most of the pictures out of the way. Also, I think it would keep us from being as nervous during the ceremony. He said it's up to us, but we'll definitely miss the whole Cocktail hour. After talking with my fiance he's not sure now. It does sound like a good idea. I think we'll be able to express ourselves more easily when we see each other for the first time. We won't be in front of all those people. What is everyones thoughts about this, and how is everyone else doing this??? Thanks!

It`s a tough choice..

..there are pros and cons to both - you will be able to get a lot of pictures out of the way before the ceremony. But, if it means a lot to either of you, you might want to wait until after the ceremony. Another option is to have the photographer take both of the family photos before hand - that way you`ll still be able to get a lot of the pictures out of the way, but you won`t see him til the ceremony!

It`s a tough choice..

We are also taking pics before the ceremony because we wanted to go to Old Westbury Gardens and we wouldn't of had time to get all the shots we wanted in between Ceremony and Reception. I was also unsure but for all the money I'm paying I wanted to enjoy cocktail hour.

It`s a tough choice..

We are seeing each other before. I didnt want to but after talking with the photographer and videographer, I changed my mind. You will lose your whole cocktail hour and possibly part of your reception if you dont. If you dont mind that, then wait. However the photographer and videographer (if your having one) can set it up to still get the 'wow' factor. Have him waiting up the aisle with his back to you and walk down the aisle to him. When he turns, they can get excellent pics without blocking guests. We are either doing that or I am just going to walk into the room to him. If hes really just superstitous, its hard. Hope this helped a bit! Good luck

We waited - I'd do it that way again

We didn`t see each other before, and I would not change that if I had to do it again, even if it did make picture taking a bit more difficult. One of my clearest memories of the ceremony is walking down the aisle and seeing the big smile on my husband`s face. I was calm beforehand and not nervous at all. It`s a moment that I`ll treasure forever. The photographer met us at the hotel and took some photos of the 'getting ready' and then went to the church, got a couple of the groom and his brother and then my arrival. We did not intend to go to our cocktail hour because hubby wanted to have the grand entrance into the reception, so we spent the time in our large bridal suite, eating and taking some pictures of the bridal party then. The drawbacks - yes, we did have to take a bit of time out from the reception for family shots because we had a very short time between the church and the ceremony. However, our ceremony was at 11:00 am, so it made it difficult to do many family shots beforehand. If I did it all over again, I`d try for another half hour to an hour between the ceremony and the reception. We had about 1 hour, and half of that was taken up by the receiving line at the church, so a bit more time would have helped get more shots out of the way. We also had about 125 - 150 guests at the church - the priest commented on what a large turnout we had, so that was part of the reason the receiving line took so long. As I said - I`ll treasure that first look forever and wouldn`t change it.

A recent experience(not mine)

I went to a wedding on Friday evening and the bride and groom did not see one another before the ceremony. Since they were married at the catering hall there was no time in between the ceremony and the cocktail hour to take pictures. They missed the whole cocktail hour and more than half of the reception because they were taking pictures. If you are being married at a church and you can plan enough time between the ceremony and the cocktail hour to take pictures then you might want to wait. If you are being married at the catering hall it is probably better to have as many pictures done as possible before the ceremony. There are still many ways to make that first moment that you see one another special. Of course the best thing to do is what makes you both happy.

Karen H - Quick Question...

If you see each other beforehand and go to the cocktail hour, you don't get to have the big announcement into the Reception area??? I'm asking because I have no clue... Thanks!!!

Wendy, Leyann...

Mostly, I'm just concerned with seeing his reaction to seeing me for the first time. I want him to be like 'wow'. We've been together for almost 8 years and he's only seen me in a dress 2 times. So, this is a big 'wow' I want to see. Like I said, a lot of people think it's good to see each other before the ceremony, because it's a more private, and personal moment. There's only a couple of people looking, not 100 or so. I just want his face captured on film. I also think we should have pictures taken beforehand so we can enjoy the Cocktail Hour and reception. Also, we are spending a lot of money for photos, so I want as many as possible. :) Thanks!

Enjoy all your day .. I hear it goes by FAST :)

Melissa, we had the same struggle in deciding what to do, but we finally decided to see each other before the ceremony and get the pictures done so we can enjoy the cocktail hour. We've heard the day goes by so fast, we don't want to miss any time, either during the cocktail hour or the reception. We are going to make his first time seeing me special somehow, when it will be just us in a room, or out in the garden someplace. I also figured that I am going to be so nervous walking down the aisle, seeing his eyes will give me the comfort of walking (hopefully not tripping) the rest of the way. Good luck!

Seeing each other before the ceremony...

I didn't see my husband before the ceremony and we got married at the fox hollow and cocktail hour was immediately following but everything worked out great. I got there early and the photographer took as many pictures as she could with my bm and family and then i went inside and my husband came out (we did this with not even seeing each other at all) he took all the pictures with his family and guys and after the ceremony we took the pictures together with us and family and bridal party. We caught the end of the cocktail hour and during the reception pictures were taken in the beginning and during the reception but we didn't miss anything. We had a great photographer and she was really quick about things. You see me and my husband dated for over 11 years by the time we got married and that was one of the few sacred things left and I don't regret it. Just to see my husbands face when he saw me was a picture in itself and thank god we got it. Hope this helps.

Melissa - reply to question

Melissa; I`ve seen it done 2 ways - either the couple mingles during the cocktail hour, then everyone including the bride and groom wanders over into the reception room for dinner, or the couple stays away from the cocktail hour and then has a dramatic moment when they are introduced to the whole room as Mr & Mrs.... Remember that a lot of the guests may not be at the church. That seems, regrettably, to be an acceptable trend these days. This is their WOW moment of seeing you, rather than the church, and it lessens the impact if you are mingling first. It just seems to be a little strange to me to be 'introduced' after you`ve just spent the past hour mingling with the guests if you`ve been at the cocktail hour, but there`s nothing really stopping you if you want to do both. That`s what it really comes down to in this case. There is not really a right or wrong. We have about 600 proofs to go through as well as another 50 - 75 black and whites. We got plenty of pictures!!! My hubby really wanted to stay away from mingling, and have the introduction, and I don`t regret missing the cocktail hour. In fact, we had a huge room with a balcony, where we got private service on drinks and food (hubby loved it - no waiting in lines!) and we took bridal party photos. The photographer wanted to do some family shots too, but I told him we wanted a little time to relax and eat ourselves, and spend some time with our bridal party. In retrospect, it may have been a good idea to take some family shots then, since it did take us away a bit from the main reception, but I don`t have major regrets. As I mentioned, to me, the best part was that moment when he saw me coming down the aisle, and for us, having the family and friends witness the moment made it all the more special. I don`t think a private moment would have been at all the same for us. It`s different for everyone and you`ll need to think about what is right for you. Waiting till the ceremony was the best decision for us.

Melissa - reply to question

So many different opinions :). Its hard, I know. I didnt want to see him before but like I said, the videographer and photographer will set us up so it will be special for us. A part of me feels we should wait but when I am walking down the aisle, I want to look around and breathe it all in. I know I will be looking at him mostly but I dont want to wonder as I am walking down that aisle what he thinks. I know what he will think but still... Seeing him before will actually calm me down and him too I think. I think that will be special because it will be caught on tape rather than with people all around us and there will be no 'pressure'. Its really a personal thing though. I felt the way Karen did but we both want to be in the cocktail hour so we have to do pics before. We dont have a break between ceremony and cocktail hour (its at the same place) so that changes it also. Do you want to be at your cocktail hour? Or does that not matter? We want to mingle with people then so we can fully enjoy the reception and not have to worry about mingling so much then. We are going to announce ourselves anyhow. We want to do the bridal party and how can we do them and not us? Even though they just saw us its still a congrats thing. Besides they just saw you at the receiving line to give you congrats. Hope this helps!

Melissa

I know what you mean about the dress thing. After 5 years together my fiance saw me in a dress for the first time this past friday night. It was really touching because he kept complimenting me. My goal for our wedding is to really be beautiful for him. We are doing the pictures beforehand so that we can enjoy our whole reception, but we are planning a special moment for just us where we see each other for the first time (of course with the photographer there to capture it). I know that I will cry and I would rather do then than when I am walking down the aisle. Also, I know that I will get more of a real reaction from my fiance if we do it before the ceremony when there are less people around. He tends to be less emotional when there are a lot of people around (a guy thing I guess). Good luck which ever way you decide to go.

Leyann...

I feel exactly the same way. I just want the Photographer and Videographer to arrange something special and catch the look on his face when he sees me. That's worth it. I think it will relax us so we can enjoy the ceremony. We won't be as nervous. Our ceremony and reception are also at the same place, the Port Jefferson Country Club. I think it would be nice too because we'll have all the main pics out of the way. And during the Cocktail hour there's a private beach within a 5 minute walk that we could take some pictures at. And the best thing is, any of the pictures we take during the cocktail hour will be during the sunset right on the Long Island Sound. We could get some nice pictures. Hopefully it'll be a beautiful day. I'm praying already. Our ceremony and Cocktail hour are outside on the deck. So it should be nice.

Wendy...

That's my goal too. I just want to look beautiful for him. I'm really leaning toward seeing each beforehand. As long as we can have something special setup when we see each other for the first time. I want us to really be able to enjoy our day. It costs enough, enjoy it while you can :) Just kidding... Anyway, good luck and let me know how things go!

Seeing each other before the ceremony...

I am also superstitious but we decided on taking our pictures before the wedding. It will be a long day but I feel if I'm paying for the wedding I want to enjoy every minute, talk to everyone and taste the food. I feel as long as he doesn't see me before I come out for the pictures and he doesn't see me in the dress, I'm fine.

Melissa

Sounds like a lovely day! When is it? Ours is Sept 30. I cant believe the end of this month we will be engaged 1 year. Wow! Went by too quickly! Good luck! I hope it is beautiful for you!

Seeing eachother before...

We do not want to see eachother before the ceremony- we want that 'moment' when we see eachother for the first time on the aisle. We are having our ceremony at 3:30pm, which should last to 4pm, then with a receiving line and taking all our family pictures at the church and on surrounding grounds we should be out of there by 5pm-5:30pm. Our reception does not start until 7pm. We are giving our guests little notes on what to do in Port Jeff during the down time. We really wanted to make sure we had enought time to take as many pictures as we want at different locations. We are going to take pictures in Stony Brook, on the docks in Port Jeff and if we have time at the beach. That was really important to me. I know many people do not like giving people too much time in between the ceremony and reception but our two locations are a half an hour away from eachother and we want the pics done perfect. So there is not too much time. We are not going to be at our cocktail hour either. We will be upstairs in the bridal suite with our party eating and drinking. We want to make the grand entrance into the reception. The whole idea of the bridal suite with a balcony, whatever food and drink we want, and allowing us time to soak everything in apealed to us. You really have to do what works for you- we are planning on getting all our pics done before the cocktail hour. I know in reality we are still going to need to take some during the reception but the more time we have in between the more we can get done. Good luck!

Seeing each other before the ceremony...

Our wedding date is August 16, 2002. At least another year. :( I'm so excited now, I don't want to wait. We've been going out almost 8 years and technically we've been engaged for 7 1/2 years. We've been engaged officially for only a couple of months. We were only 16 when he first proposed to me. Nobody knew about it until last year. We were kind of young and only going out for 5 months at the time. It stinks though, now I have to wait till next August for our moment. I've been waiting years and years!!! :) I'M SO EXCITED!!! So is my fiance!!! We'd get married now but we need that year to save up money since we're paying for most of the wedding ourselves. Anyway, good luck to you, and thanks for the advice!!!

Jillian...

Hi, you're lucky... You have some time in between. Our cocktail hour starts right after our ceremony. We're getting married at the same place as our reception. They wouldn't give us some extra time in between. Oh well, what can you do??? Good luck and have fun!