Sent the STD!! Do I HAVE to invite???

debismom Posted: Jan 28, 2008 11:45 AM

Sent the STD!! Do I HAVE to invite???

Debi sent STD's to 2 gals, she previously liked! However, after getting to know them, She feels it only proper to follow through on the invitation. She's taking the chance they won't come. Wish I could tell you more, but don't know if they lurk. Opinions? Mary MOB

heathermatt Posted: Jan 28, 2008 11:46 AM

Re: Sent the STD!! Do I HAVE to invite??? Poll

hard question to answer...Not sure...I would think the save the dates kind of hint that you are DEF invited....

truelove5803 Posted: Jan 28, 2008 11:47 AM

Re: Sent the STD!! Do I HAVE to invite???

I'd say it's her day and if she isn't really friends with them anymore and doesn't want them there, then don't invite them. If she isn't really friends with them anymore, then it's not like she is going to ruin a friendship by not inviting them. Good Luck!

CNC4eva3402 Posted: Jan 28, 2008 11:48 AM

Re: Sent the STD!! Do I HAVE to invite???

Posted by truelove5803

I'd say it's her day and if she isn't really friends with them anymore and doesn't want them there, then don't invite them. If she isn't really friends with them anymore, then it's not like she is going to ruin a friendship by not inviting them. Good Luck!

Couldn't have said it better myself!

anneandchris Posted: Jan 28, 2008 11:48 AM

Re: Sent the STD!! Do I HAVE to invite???

Unfortunately she has to invite them unless they are completely not on speaking terms.

This is why I am not sending Save the Dates to everyone on the guest list only those that I know for sure aren't being removed from the list (mostly work people but still).

Sorry Mary -- I know it is frustrating.

Kimbalina Posted: Jan 28, 2008 11:48 AM

Re: Sent the STD!! Do I HAVE to invite???

Posted by CNC4eva3402

Posted by truelove5803

I'd say it's her day and if she isn't really friends with them anymore and doesn't want them there, then don't invite them. If she isn't really friends with them anymore, then it's not like she is going to ruin a friendship by not inviting them. Good Luck!

Couldn't have said it better myself!

YUP. that is what I was going to say!

FullersBride Posted: Jan 28, 2008 11:49 AM

Re: Sent the STD!! Do I HAVE to invite???

if you send a STD they have to be invited unless there is a falling out and both parties are aware or the bride doesn't care if the friendship is ruined. tough situation!

gabbie83 Posted: Jan 28, 2008 11:52 AM

Re: Sent the STD!! Do I HAVE to invite???

i know there are like 2 people taht my mom send the STD and she doesnt want them to be invited

TrueLoveIn2008 Posted: Jan 28, 2008 11:52 AM

Re: Sent the STD!! Do I HAVE to invite???

Posted by anneandchris

Unfortunately she has to invite them unless they are completely not on speaking terms.

This is why I am not sending Save the Dates to everyone on the guest list only those that I know for sure aren't being removed from the list (mostly work people but still).

Sorry Mary -- I know it is frustrating.

I am going to respectfully disagree on this one. You don't HAVE to invite anyone. I agree with the above - if they are not friends anymore, don't invite them. If they are on speaking terms, however, she could always say that Fred's parents had relatives to invite she didn't know about, or that the guest list had to be trimmed last minute, etc. if she wants to give a reason - or if they ask ....

Do these girls know where the wedding is being held? Might they assume that was their invite and show up anyhow? If not - don't worry about it.

Melissa313 Posted: Jan 28, 2008 11:53 AM

Re: Sent the STD!! Do I HAVE to invite???

Posted by Kimbalina

Posted by CNC4eva3402

Posted by truelove5803

I'd say it's her day and if she isn't really friends with them anymore and doesn't want them there, then don't invite them. If she isn't really friends with them anymore, then it's not like she is going to ruin a friendship by not inviting them. Good Luck!

Couldn't have said it better myself!

YUP. that is what I was going to say!

I agree too!!! why spend the money on extra people if arent even friends

iwannabmrsD Posted: Jan 28, 2008 11:54 AM

Re: Sent the STD!! Do I HAVE to invite???

i dont think u have to invite based on a std. between my mom and I, i cna think of two people who received stds but not invitaitons.. folks show their colors around wedding times. and i dont want that energy at my wedding..

debismom Posted: Jan 28, 2008 11:56 AM

Re: Sent the STD!! Do I HAVE to invite???

After hearing about these gals, my concern is that they could turn even a happy wedding, into a bad situation, as they did recently, at what should have been a relaxing event, for everyone !!!! Debi and a few others were totally shocked!!!! My gut said, 'Don't invite', but I know Debi will follow through, and hope they don't show. Mary MOB

RadiantBride Posted: Jan 28, 2008 12:01 PM

Re: Sent the STD!! Do I HAVE to invite???

It's her day.... maybe she can 'forget' to send them the invitations.
If they speak and they ask her about it then at that point she can either send the invitation or she can let them know that due to finances some cuts had to be made to the guestlist.

TrueLoveIn2008 Posted: Jan 28, 2008 12:01 PM

Re: Sent the STD!! Do I HAVE to invite???

Mary, I am so sorry to hear that Debi has to have people like this in her life at such a happy time. You would think they would be more mature at their age - which I am assuming is not 14?

Hope it all clears up.

LeeLee111 Posted: Jan 28, 2008 12:04 PM

Re: Sent the STD!! Do I HAVE to invite???

Yeah if you sent a save the date you should invite them to the wedding.

SoontobeMrsMc Posted: Jan 28, 2008 12:06 PM

Re: Sent the STD!! Do I HAVE to invite???

Technically- if you sent a STD, you should follow through with the invitation.

However, I'm in the same boat. I sent STD cards to a few people a year back and I haven't talked to them since- so I'm going against all rules of ettiquette and not inviting them! Why would I want people at my wedding that I don't even talk to anymore or in your daughter's case- even like.

SAMORY Posted: Jan 28, 2008 12:06 PM

Re: Sent the STD!! Do I HAVE to invite???

Posted by debismom

Debi sent STD's to 2 gals, she previously liked! However, after getting to know them, She feels it only proper to follow through on the invitation. She's taking the chance they won't come. Wish I could tell you more, but don't know if they lurk. Opinions? Mary MOB

It depends on the situation. I sent everybody STD but some people are just getting invites to the wedding.

jessica08bride Posted: Jan 28, 2008 12:19 PM

Re: Sent the STD!! Do I HAVE to invite???

Technically if you send the STD, you have to send the invite. I mean, you told them to save the date. she could probably get away with it though, if she doesnt invite them. being as they work with her though, i dont know how it is going to turn out in the end. when my cousin got married, she sent out STDs to old friends who over the year she was enagged became distant and such. and she figured she wouldnt invite them in the end. but then as the wedding day got closer, the person actually emailed her 'cant wait for the wedding', so in the end she had to invite them anyway.

snwb08 Posted: Jan 28, 2008 12:49 PM

Re: Sent the STD!! Do I HAVE to invite???

i'm so glad i didn't send STDs. I don't see the point unless it's for a holiday weekend. but a lot of people do.

that said, i don't think you have to invite anyone, especially if they pulled some crap recently. i don't want anyone at my wedding 1. i don't like, 2. i don't know.

Butterfly123 Posted: Jan 28, 2008 01:11 PM

Re: Sent the STD!! Do I HAVE to invite???

Posted by debismom

After hearing about these gals, my concern is that they could turn even a happy wedding, into a bad situation, as they did recently, at what should have been a relaxing event, for everyone !!!! Debi and a few others were totally shocked!!!! My gut said, 'Don't invite', but I know Debi will follow through, and hope they don't show. Mary MOB

I invited someone at first (my best friends girlfriend) the the wedding even though I know when she gets alcohol on her system, she acts a littl crazy. Well, she ruined my birthday party in August and then did something terrible the night of my bachelorette party. I revoked my invitation and that wasnt even a STD. If you think these girls are going to turn this into a bad situation, then do NOT invite them. This is her night and she shouldnt have to worry that two people who she really doesnt wanna be there will cause trouble.