Serious Topic-War and wedding plans

Guys,
My parents are very worried about the impact of war in my wedding plans. They are suggesting that with all this unstability in the world that my wedding may be ruined. It is scaring me since I experienced the whole Sept 11 thing first hand (I worked a block way) and the same feelings are coming back. They do not mean to but are being realistic I guess.

I am curious to know how other brides are feeling expecially the ones getting married soon.


Karen

First off no body should be scaring you like that...

None of us have any control over what is going to happen and we need to continue to live the life we always have and always wanted. Fear is the goal of the bad guys...don't let them win.

Having said that, I am a little afraid as my fiance is scheduled for Monday to get his Fiance Visa in London. I am lucky that my fiance is a british citizen, there are a lot of other brides waiting for their foreign spouses to be allowed into the country. Most visas have been put on hold from the middle eastern countries, China, Russia....etc. I feel very badly for them, as I know first had how it would feel to not be allowed to be together...

Live your life to the fullest.....don't be afraid..and most of all enjoy this very special time in your life.

These topics scare the heck out of me (war & terrorism) me but I do talk about them.
I do not feel that war will ruin my wedding, to be honest, I never gave my wedding and war thought together in the same sentence before. I either think about one or the other, mostly one-my wedding.
I pray this whole nightmare stops but until it does, I live day by day with happy wedding thoughts and that's all I can do.

Hi guys,
I am so sorry I brought up this topic. I did not mean to alarm you guys. Forgive me. You are right that we should live life one day at a time and pray for peace in the world.

thanks,

Karen

it's ok Karen-you did nothing wrong.

Karen...
if it makes you feel any better...i know exactly how you feel! When we went to sign the contract at oheka my mom said...'make sure you put a clause in there that you can cancel if 'FH' gets drafted'...
can you believe that???? I wanted to cry

I know how you feel, this whole topic really upsets me. I think about something bad happening too often that I have to tell myself that it is out of my hands and I can't let it rule my life. We just have to have faith and hope for the best for everyone

Good Morning Karen, this topic just crossed my mind also last night after watching the State of the Union address. I agree with the comment about don't let yourself be overcome by fear. FH and I are living each day without the fear. There are several people close to myself that have already been deployed and a cousin of mine who is getting married in July may be deployed prior to his own wedding. He and his FW are living each day, planning their wedding and enjoying being with each other. I'm trying to follow his lead.

You guys made me feel a lot better.

thanks so much to all!!!!!!

KAren

I think about this all the time.

FH best friend got married on September 15, 2001. A few guests didn't make it because of trouble with flying in, but we went, and honestly, I don't think a situation could be worse than thinking about having to celebrate amidst so much depression, anxiety, and fear. But we did. And we did it very well.

The wedding was fabulous. It was a welcome release from what was the scariest week in all of our lives. We drank, ate, danced, and partied like it was September 10th. I have worried about what I would do should something this horrible happen 4 days before my wedding, but I have come to realize that we just can't control it, and just like the weather on our wedding day, it's something that has to be put in the back of your mind because of this inability to control it. I don't mean to demean this in any way by comparing a terrorist act, or act of war, to the weather, I am just looking for examples of something we can't control.

Your day will be beautiful....and do not let this worry you.

As for the draft....there are no plans to re-institute so don't even think about this!

Mistyeyed i wonder if its the same people. My sorority sister got married Sept 15, 2001 and i told her if i had to i would walk to her wedding.

Today, yea its all around us, but i am not going to let that damper my wedding plans or my big day.

My life is not going to stop. It didnt when 9/11 happened and its not now.

I was running late that morning and would have been walking through the outside plaza, but instead watched it all happen from the train. i was deeply tramatized, but i am going on living.

What am I suppose to do, worry? Do I look like President Bush? So instead, i trust those who are doing there jobs are and I am doing my job here.

War and MY wedding don't sound so good together...

And since when are we gov;t officals who make decisions..

Worry about your cake fillings.. There isn't a THING you can do anyway..

So worry WHEN it happnes and NOT WHAT IF!

The wedding was at the El Carib in Brooklyn. What a coincidence if it were!

Hi Ladies, yes, it's a tough subject, but Karen, don't feel bad for bringing it up. It's a very real situation that we're all going through. I think about it from time to time, but I don't get worked up. I try to trust in God, and whatever will be will be. I seriously think we'll be fine. We've come out of war before. And we're still standing. So here's a huge group hug for all our Brides to Be & Newleyweds-- Don't let this ruin your wedding plans, hopes and dreams.



edited to add more hugs

Misty: oh sorry. My friends was in NJ. I had to drive over the bridge. talk about scary. but i promised her if i had to walk i would be there when she got married.

I agree with Lizlen

Well, first I'm not sure how you can even compare the two in the same sentence, but I'll ask my husband when he is deployed to please make it quick so you aren't affected.

Ok, I apologize because I know what I said is rude, but what you said I feel is the same way rude to me. And with everything going on I believe I should be offered respect. But if you are sorry then change the subject somewhat.

About having a draft clause, I wouldn't worry to much about that. Rumsfied doesn't want a draft and if there is, your vendor unless they are major Jerks will have to work with you. Maybe not getting money back, but holding your money for another date.

Personally, my wedding was affected by what has been going on if you look my screen name and my wedding date in my profile are completely different.

I had everything all planned and invites out and responses in and had to postpone our wedding, all of our vendors were amazing, well except for one and that was because it was our mistake I made an extra large deposit a week before the postponement so when we lost about an extra 40 people who were coming we still had to pay for the empty seats since the hall had the money. When the AF allowed him to have leave again we replanned the entire event in 3 weeks even worked with our printing company to redo the same invites.

I wouldn't be too worried about it affecting your plans and if it does you will just have to roll with the punches. For us it wasen't the worse thing in the world because we have now learned to plan in Pencil and we have to since my husband in serving now.

I wish you the best of luck and I hope your wedding if everything you ever dreamed it to me. I had my dream wedding even though we had setbacks and special circumstances and so shall you.

So, don't worry!

Two Sat after Sept 11, my step-sister's son had his bar-mitzpha (Sp?? - sorry dont know how to spell). At first I had thought that they should cancel out of respect - but they didn't.

In the end is was a nice diversion from the realities around us. Especially watching the kids have a great time!

I suppose the one thing to keep in mind, in regards to war and wedding plans is not necessarily the wedding plans but the Honeymoon plans. If we go to war, I dont know if I would like to be travelling internationally....just a thought!

Our wedding is in November (hopefully all this will be resolved by then), but we are probably going to go to California. Which wasn't based on the war threat, but now I'm a but relieved we wont be leaving the US. Besides our country is quite beautiful once you get out of the city.

07052002, what are you talking about, noone disrepected you

I'm with you Regina. In all honesty I haven't been thinking about the War throughout my planning. But since this topic has come up, I am a bit skeptical about travelling if this is not resolved by October. I'd rather stay home and close to my family and friends.

Edited to say: If something should happen, I don't think I'd be too concerned with money I've lost or something materialistic like that, I'd rather be safe! That's all!