Serious Topic-War and wedding plans

Original post by karenJ

Jan 29, 2003 07:10 AM

Guys,
My parents are very worried about the impact of war in my wedding plans. They are suggesting that with all this unstability in the world that my wedding may be ruined. It is scaring me since I experienced the whole Sept 11 thing first hand (I worked a block way) and the same feelings are coming back. They do not mean to but are being realistic I guess.

I am curious to know how other brides are feeling expecially the ones getting married soon.

Karen

p&a91203 Posted: Jan 29, 2003 01:09 PM

Re: Serious Topic-War and wedding plans

Karen- I too experienced 9/11 first hand. Trust me- you should not let fears about the war and unstability ruin your happiness. After all- if you let it stop you and make you live in terror, then the terrorists will win.
Don't let anyone instill that type of fear in you!

Misty Posted: Jan 29, 2003 01:12 PM

Re: Serious Topic-War and wedding plans

07052002...I really think you jumped down her throat for no reason. She was asking how we FEEL.

The girl wasn't saying that this darned war will ruin her wedding. Sheesh take a pill. And I understand that you feel you deserve respect because your husband is serving...I believe all wives of servicemen deserve tons of respect, but I think no matter who you are you should give it to get it.

Sassy Posted: Jan 29, 2003 01:14 PM

Re: Serious Topic-War and wedding plans

Thanks Misty, I thought I was the only one who noticed that, I was confused as to where she came from with that post, I thought it very unfair to Karen

07052002 Posted: Jan 29, 2003 01:14 PM

Re: Serious Topic-War and wedding plans

'They are suggesting that with all this unstability in the world that my wedding may be ruined'

I think that is disrespectful to even say that.

Maybe I didn't phrase something properly in my post but personally I am having a hard time. I am thousands of miles away from my family and friends, my best friend in the world my husband will be sent with little notice and I will not have contact.

Many babies will be born without Father's around, many brides will be postponing there plans indefinetly and some husbands, boyfriends and sons will not be returning and for someone to even compare that to my day maybe ruined seems extremely disrespectful since the military if just fullfilling their duty to our country.

Personally for me worrying about the upcoming war shouldn't be a major concern because we just don't know and everyone should calm dowm and let people who are trained to help us and protect us do their jobs.

It isn't healthy to be worried like that, as well as to have someone make statements to you like above.

Worry about the rain or something.

Sassy Posted: Jan 29, 2003 01:16 PM

Re: Serious Topic-War and wedding plans

07052002, I think you are way out of line. Karen wasnt disrepecting the military or anyone. Obviously you feel strongly about what is happenning to you personally, but you really shouldnt take it out on Karen, she was voicing her concern, ans last I checked, that was allowed.

tracyg Posted: Jan 29, 2003 01:20 PM

Re: Serious Topic-War and wedding plans

Plus she was saying that OTHER people were suggesting it would be ruined. It wasn't her saying it...

Misty Posted: Jan 29, 2003 01:22 PM

Re: Serious Topic-War and wedding plans

But honestly, when anyone is spending between 20 and 50 thousand dollars on something, there are concerns. And who WOULDN'T be concerned? And so what if she is? We have our hearts in this, and it's her right to worry about it, and her parents right to be concerned. Maybe they wanted to ask her about wedding insurance, maybe they wanted her to curtail her expenses on it because of the state of the economy, you just don't know, and to judge her as being disrespectful to you personally is ridiculous.

I don't think that she was being disrespectful in any way shape or form...this topic is a very common one, because there are millions of brides that were effected by 9/11, and I'm sorry, as superficial as a wedding may be, it's still a very meaningful and personal experience that no one wants torn apart by tragedy.

WithThisRing Posted: Jan 29, 2003 01:25 PM

Re: Serious Topic-War and wedding plans

I think this topic is getting a little out of hand and its touching some on a very personal note.

Karen you have all right to be concerned and worried as I am sure we all are.

07: you need to relax. i see its hitting closer to home to you then to some of us, but you are not the only one. My best friends brother in law is in afghanistan and he hasnt seen his family in months. so dont think you are the only one. you need to lighten up on karen. she is posting a concern.

i agree that this should be the least of our worries for our wedding day. worry that it doesnt rain, snow, worry that you dont get stuck in traffic, dont worry about war.

mv1003 Posted: Jan 29, 2003 01:44 PM

Re: Serious Topic-War and wedding plans

Karen, try your best to not let the world get you down. We have no control over anything going on, so no use wasting energy worrying about it.
Will a war effect my day- a little bit yes. I would roll with the punches and just hope that it doesn't last long. Everyone deserves to live their life, not have it taken away by 'war' and the reason for going to war.
I hope that each and every one of us has a beautiful day and live happily ever after.

07- I really think you took this personally. I'm sorry to hear your husband might have to go and you won't have any contact. We will pray for your family and for a safe return for ALL military members, should it come to that.

Thrilled Posted: Jan 29, 2003 02:01 PM

Re: Serious Topic-War and wedding plans

07 - I think we caught you on a bad day. I totally empathize with you and what you and DH are going through. I come from a military family (father, brother and GF all served in the Marine Corps) so I totally understand your fears and concerns. Being a military wife is hard enough without throwing a freaking war in the middle of it. Good luck to you and keep your chin up. We'll be praying for all of our military loved ones as this war looms.

Karen my best advice to you is to forge ahead. When guests voice fears about the wedding, assure them that whatever happens, happens, but you and FH will be married - come hell, high water or Osama bin Laden and that's that.

Ronnie&Theresa Posted: Jan 29, 2003 02:28 PM

Re: Serious Topic-War and wedding plans

YO!!!!!!!!

WAR AND WEDDINGS DOESN'T WORK

CAPISHE!!!

Fletch Posted: Jan 29, 2003 03:05 PM

Re: Serious Topic-War and wedding plans

Thrilled - perfectly put!

BillysBride Posted: Jan 29, 2003 03:26 PM

Re: Serious Topic-War and wedding plans

I think this topic of war is on everyone's mind especially after last night's union address. I was also there for the 9/11 attacks and I still work in the area. I worry once in a while about other attacks, but I just try and think about happier things. I also am worried that War is in the near future and I worry how it's going to affect the economy and jobs and that's real to me b/c if I don't have a job I can't afford to have a wedding amongst other things. So a war will definitely affect all of us. But we must live life to the fullest regardless.

karenJ Posted: Jan 29, 2003 03:40 PM

Re: Serious Topic-War and wedding plans

Guys,
You are right. It has been on my mind more so especially after the president's speech.
07052002, I meant no disrespect to anyone and thanks to Liz and all others who can see that. 07, I do not need you to tell me that my wedding will go fine. You are not in a position to do that. You cannot see into the future. I feel for everyone who are affected by the war, directly and indirectly. The 'instability' I referenced can mean a lot of things. That can mean missiles bombing our homes, our sons, fathers and brothers leaving us and not coming back and the list goes on.

I was running for my life after the towers were hit and am happy to be alive today so please do not accuse me of being some materialistic Cinderella wanting a pretty wedding in these unstable times.

To all the other brides reading this, I am sorry for coming off harsh but I had to make my point....

Karen

karenJ Posted: Jan 29, 2003 03:42 PM

Re: Serious Topic-War and wedding plans

michele31 Posted: Jan 29, 2003 03:44 PM

Re: Serious Topic-War and wedding plans

I highly doubt your wedding (or anyone else's) will effect World Politics very much, unless your FH is in the armed forces. We cannot stop our lives because Baby Bush is a moron. Plan, Plan, Plan and don't let anyone rain on your parade!