Seriously considering calling this wedding OFF

i know this must be so hard. You should really speak with him and tell him how you are feeling.

Sometimes even going to a therapist on your own can help you sort out your feelings. Even if you go just once.

I dont mean to make the situation sound smaller than it is, but what are people going to do if you call it off? To others, honestly, its no big deal.

So what? So you give a gift back - you lose some money? Isnt that a whole lot less embarrassing than divorce after a few months? After you spend $30,000 on a wedding vs maybe $5,000 on deposits?

Please please please dont be scared to end this over money. Your family will support you. As for his family and friends- so what? Who cares what they think. You will have alot of people helping you through this. Please dont make the mistake of marrying someone who you know beforehand is not the right person for you.

You should be a happy bride - this should be the time of your life. Please dont marry this man if you are having doubts like you say- it will not get better - trust me.

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Posted by Preshy7

i know this must be so hard. You should really speak with him and tell him how you are feeling.

Sometimes even going to a therapist on your own can help you sort out your feelings. Even if you go just once.

I dont mean to make the situation sound smaller than it is, but what are people going to do if you call it off? To others, honestly, its no big deal.

So what? So you give a gift back - you lose some money? Isnt that a whole lot less embarrassing than divorce after a few months? After you spend $30,000 on a wedding vs maybe $5,000 on deposits?

Please please please dont be scared to end this over money. Your family will support you. As for his family and friends- so what? Who cares what they think. You will have alot of people helping you through this. Please dont make the mistake of marrying someone who you know beforehand is not the right person for you.

You should be a happy bride - this should be the time of your life. Please dont marry this man if you are having doubts like you say- it will not get better - trust me.

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Perfectly stated. Good luck to you!

Thanks everyone...I have alot to think about

You have to do what is right for you! You can't worry about money being lost or who you are going to upset. if you dont think you are ready then this is the time to say it! I had a friend that called the wedding off 7 months before and she got 95% of her money back if that is what you are worried about. Think it though and If you are really unhappy like you say you are then go w/ what you believe We are all here for you

I'm so sorry As you go through life, the one person you should be able to turn to for help and encouragement is your FH. You have to not only love him, but like him. If you are having these feelings of dislike, I think you need to really think about what exactly you dislike and if these things can be worked out. Maybe counseling can help.

if you're having doubts and he is out with his friends now, what do you think its going to be like when you get married?

do you guys live together?

I was engaged 10 years ago and broke it off. I loved my ex, but I knew spending the rest of my life with him would have made me miserable, and that is no way to live.

You have to do what's right for you first. No one knows what is best for you but YOU.

If you are unhappy now, marriage will not change that. If FH cared enough about you, he would be concerned with your happiness enough to put you before his friends when there is a problem. The fact that he is out with his friends instead of working things out with you speaks volumes. Also the fact that you now despise him is a major clue to how you should not be marrying this man.

There are plenty of people out there still looking for someone. So trust me, ending it is not the end of the world, as much as it feels like it.

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Posted by doubtsfor06

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Posted by johnsae

the fact that you say you can't stand him and that it worries you to think about spending the rest of your life with him makes me say cancel the wedding.....you certainly shouldn't be feeling like this towards the person you are engaged to....it should be a very happy time and not a time that you should be doubting yourself. save yourself a lot of money and a lot of heartache and break off the engagement before you find yourself in a marriage that you shouldn't be in. jmo - good luck!

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This is what I am thinking about doing I feel terrible that we have spent so much money already and my parents have spent so much money already!

I don't think this is the person for me though. And I kick myself for wasting all of this time and moneyy

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YOU CAN NOT worry about the money....i hear this so often - that people stay with eachother because they have invested so much money in the wedding....

I discussed my feelings last night with my FH and he wants to see if we can work things out. I am very confused and stressed right now. There are a lot of other things going on in my life and this just compounds it.

Thanks everyone for your thoughts and for sharing personal expereinces with me. It really means alot

I was with my ex for 6 years - we were 'almost'engaged (had the ring picked out) and then I had the thoughts you had - and I think I moved quickly in calling everything off before it became a big expensive thing - it was the hardest thing I ever did, but really the samrtest - and now I am with someone who I was meant to be with - you don't want to make any mistakes!!! There was an article recently about a woman who called everything off in a recent Wedding mag - she thought at first it was cold feet, and then realized it wasn't....

Wishing you luck!

you know we are all here for you.... do some thinking ok..

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Posted by blushingbride2006

if you're having doubts and he is out with his friends now, what do you think its going to be like when you get married?

do you guys live together?

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that's an excellent point! if he knows you have doubt and still goes out with his buddies, that is a HUGE red flag!

Hang in there.

If you think it's worth it to salvage this relationship, have you considered couples therapy?

I am so sorry that you have to go through this.. we all have rocky points.. and have ups and downs.. But if you dont see the rest of you life with him then calling off the wedding is the right thing to do.. Dont worry about the money.. in the end it is just money.. you need to be happy that is what is important.. you need to be excited to spend forever with your FH.. It is a hard decision.. and not an easy thing to do.. But in the end I know you will make the best decision for yourself..

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Posted by JanuaryBride06

At this point, you can't think about the money spent. Yes, that makes it really, really difficult to cancel, but what if you go through with it? Will you end up being divorced quickly? That just means more money lost and more heartache.

The fact that your FH doesn't listen to you when you tell him how you feel is indicative of some of the problems you have with him. I think that if you are having such major doubts, it is for the best to cancel.

I'm sorry that you're having such a difficult time. I wish you the best

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I agree

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Posted by smurray

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Posted by JanuaryBride06

At this point, you can't think about the money spent. Yes, that makes it really, really difficult to cancel, but what if you go through with it? Will you end up being divorced quickly? That just means more money lost and more heartache.

The fact that your FH doesn't listen to you when you tell him how you feel is indicative of some of the problems you have with him. I think that if you are having such major doubts, it is for the best to cancel.

I'm sorry that you're having such a difficult time. I wish you the best

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I agree

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me too
on a personal note-I have several friends ( 2 different couples ) that both felt this way and went through with the marriage. They are both on their way to divorce. Money is Money-but why comprimise what you want or feel anmd what you FI may want or feel because of money. It takes a strong person to walk away-if they know that is is right for them.

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Posted by doubtsfor06

I discussed my feelings last night with my FH and he wants to see if we can work things out. I am very confused and stressed right now. There are a lot of other things going on in my life and this just compounds it.

Thanks everyone for your thoughts and for sharing personal expereinces with me. It really means alot

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Please keep us posted, and I hope all works well for you.