Share your engadement?

ok, I don't want to sound horrible or anything, but I am engaged with a wedding date set for 2010. My sister's BF just bought her a ring and is planning on proposing soon and from what I understand he wants the wedding around the same time as mine.

I have never approved of the two of them dating for reasons I will not state here, so I definitely do not think they should to be getting married ( I have no doubt she will say yes however). But now I feel even worse thinking that as I will be planning my wedding with her as my bridesmaid, I will also be helping to plan hers for the same time. Even though she is 2 years younger than me and we have always been treated/seen as the same and equal and I thought that this was the one thing to set me aside from her. All the dreaming of going to get my wedding dress and all has just disappeared and thinking of us both going for dresses at the same time has entered my mind... and I am not smiling right now. I always hear and am told how it's 'Your Wedding' and everyone is looking at the bride... well now it'll be the two of us, together, in the same store, hopefully not trying on the same dress. I also don't want my wedding to be just like hers which I fear may happen as I come up with ideas that she may like or visa versa.

I never thought in my whole life of having to share my wedding planning.

Maybe I am over reacting.... but has anyone else had to do something similar to this? Any ideas to get me through?

Thanks for listening

2013 is a long time away. perhaps you could move your wedding up. What makes you think shes picking 2013 too?

Well, not too long ago I had alot of drama with wedding dates clashing as well. I was totally bummed....
My FH cousin was engaged since summer of 07... and all along I was being told from her that she wants a champange red color wedding in Novemeber time frame since she can't have her summer weddding since she has MS. (This is FH's cousins fiance...) Well, long behold, I got engaged in December on a complete surprise. The first thing the two of us did was discuss a date. Sure enough, I ALWAYS wanted a sping wedding, and he kept saying it was all up to me. So, May 9th was the date we made, keeping in mind that Novemeber was his cousins. NOt an issue there....
He proposed the date before Christmas Eve, so of couse everyone was asking questions on Christmas. Someone asked me the approx date and I sad May 9th...and that started a way!!!! Suddenly THEY were having a May wedding...OY! I was sooo mad. I also told everyone that I was doing a blue and purple wedding. She freaked again b/c she said that SHE wanted Blue! Whatever...DO BLUE!! Need I mention that this would be her SECOND wedding..??
So, a month goes by where she wouldn't even TALK to me. Ok, time went on. FINALLY we go over to resolve everything and bc I wanted to start booking things. We talked it all out. They moved it up to 6/6 and I moved mine back to 4/4... things were ok. But, I jsut found out like last week that they wont' be able to afford it so they moved it again to SEPT!!! And, they are in talk of changing the colors again.
What I learned..? Whenever they come over, HIDE EVERYTHING wedding related. She kept stealing my ideas. I actually had to lie to her and tell her I'm doing pink and brown just so she would leave me alone!! She'll be mighty shocked at my wedding!! HAHA...


I can totally feel your pain... I do'nt think that the two of them should get married either. But, I keep my mouth shut and just let them do whatever makes them happy for right now. If it bothers you that bad, then I would actually just talk to her about it. Wait until AFTER he pops the question just so you don't ruin the surprise. The dates can always change...especially since they didn't even START planning yet. Since it's still such a long ways to go, I think you'll have plenty of time to work it all out if it ends up being the same year. Just make sure taht youtalk to her about the dates. Explain to her that you may have some of the same people coming to your wedding, and if they are OOT then it may become a finacial burden to some people. There should be a few month gap in between to at least accomadate the guests. Talk it over with her..I am sure taht you will both work out something that works out. Best of luck. :)

nothing is set in stone yet, he says now that he wants the wedding around the same time but who knows what your sister will want. ALot of what we plan before were even engaged ends up changing after getting engaged and starting the planning.

I wouldn't get upset about this yet considering its just a thought for now and no date has been set or anything.

Is there a chance your sister is going to want to get married earlier than 2013, she might want to do it sooner

Thanks for the advice so far. You guys are right, nothing is set in stone for them yet.

I'm going by the date based on what her soon to be FH said when he bought her the ring that my FH went with him to do. Right now I'm hoping that things won't clash and we can reason based on the actual date she sets. I can't change mine since a) we are waiting that long to be married b/c of a specific date and b) the RH has all ready been booked and a lot of money all ready put down.

I guess I'm gonna just have this lingering in my head until he pops the question next week.

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Posted by Sora777

2013 is a long time away. perhaps you could move your wedding up. What makes you think shes picking 2013 too?

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opps.. sorry, I ment 2010, Aug 13, 2010 to be exact . I changed my original posting to reflect this.

Trying on dresses is not like a wedding day. There were other people in the shop when I went, and the salesgirl paid me most attention, but there were other girls there to help the others.

Planning together won't take away from your day (and as Espo said, she doesn't even have a ring yet, let alone a date . . . .)

It can be fun (as we can see by our LIW obsession) planning with other's input, but when you feel it's overwhelming or even worse, competitive, step out of it and plan without her input . . . . your day will be your day, hers will be hers, and both will be great.

I have been to three weddings in a one month period one year, and honestly, I remember them all distinctly, and none overshadowed the other . . . different weddings, different places, different couples . . . it was fun, and no one was comparing 'this' and 'that' except maybe the brides!!

Resist that urge, and you'll be fine!

oh, and . . . . keep those 'special ideas' a secret . . . just in case

(favors, song choices, order of events, things that distinguish one wedding from another . . .. even color choices)

why do you have to go with her to do all these things? your wedding will still be special and unique and dont tell her all the special things you have planned. If you can move up the wedding go for it.

I have a similiar problem with my sister. As soon as i start talking about my wedding she starts in with hers (shes not even engaged!) when i showed her my ring when i was visiting all she talked about was how her and her b/f went to look at rings. It irritates the heck outta me and i threw my tantrum and now im trying to think rationally about it while walking on eggshells she doesnt ruin everything. I totally know how you feel, but dont let it get to you. your wedding will be what you make it and if you let this get to you it will ruin everything. dont do that. this should be fun and special.