Should I be upset???

Our wedding is next weekend. My FI wants to have his so called bachelor party, hang out with the guys, 2 nights before the wedding which would be Thursday. We're leaving NC and driving up to NY on Wed. night, so, we'll get there Thurs. morning. Now, I know we live out of state, and him getting together with the guys is hard enough as it is, but I'm really upset that it's 2 nights before? Should I be upset, or should I not worry about it? I know it's more than just the 2 nights before thing that upsets me, it's the whole bachelor party thing to begin with. He's says, they won't be going to strip clubs, etc., but I know his friends, and I don't trust them. I trust him, but not them. I've heard horror stories about those places. Is it just me? I just don't want to have to worry about this right before the wedding, you know? Thanks!

Re: Should I be upset???

I wouldn't worry about it. The strip clubs are always more fun in guys imaginations than they are in real life. Who cares if he sees some naked women dancing - why should that bother you? He's not going to sleep with her - you said yourself, you trust him. There's only so much his friends can do without his permission.

My husband is flying to NY this weekend for his friends bachelor party and strip clubs are on the agenda. But he's not into that scene and I trust him completely. I never gave it a second thought.

As for the two days before, its unfortunate that its so close but it sounds like it can't be helped. At least he'll have time to recooperate before the wedding!

What exactly are you afraid of?

Re: Should I be upset???

I wouldn't be upset about it...Lisa is right. If you trust him, you're fine.

For guys, stripclubs are a night of entertainment.

Let's face it...If he's going to cheat, he's going to cheat. Whether it's a stripclub or your local bar.

True, stripclubs offer the 'backroom special', but do you really believe he would do that? And if his friends are willing to jeapordize your relationship - whether it be 6 months or 2 days before your wedding...they're not exactly friends!

You're marrying him for many reasons...and one of them is trust. It will be fine.

Re: Should I be upset???

You should definitely not be upset!! You trust each other and he deserves a night out with 'the boys'. No need to stress any more than necessary!!

Can you get together with your girlfriends that night?? That way you can both have a night out!!
Good luck and enjoy your last week of planning!!

Re: Should I be upset???

The thought of bachelor parties really get under my skin. I definately have no problem with a night out with the boys but I think the whole strip club thing is totally immature and out of line. Actually, it isn't even the strip clubs that bother me but the lap dances. Then again, if you think about it, if the girls weren't getting paid they probably wouldn't give half the guys they dance for the time of day and how good can a guy feel knowing he has to pay for that sort of attention? Anyway - enough of my little rant. I wouldn't worry about it because if you trust your FH, that should be enough.

P.S. The more I hear about bachelor parties, the more I realize that it's the guy's friends that want this sort of stuff, not the groom.

Re: Should I be upset???

I wouldn't be upset about it. My FH went to a friends bachelor party @ a local bar & the moron BM got a full fledged Ho! My FH said she was pretty but said he wouldn't touch her with a 10 foot pole. The groom at that bachelor party didn't really look at her. IT was the horn dog friends that were all over her. You really have nothing to worry about. Trust is the key thing. And if you ask about it the next day. Don't get upset!!

Re: Should I be upset???

I agree not to get upset. My FH is a volunteer fireman and they always get these skanky strippers to come in, all my life I've heard these awful stories about what goes on, because I've always been friends with volunteers. This bothers me a lot, I am hoping his BP will be different. Strip clubs don't bother me, I am actually thinking of doing naked boys singing for mine! And, if I have learned one thing in my 31 1/2 years of being single, it's don't ask questions that the answers might bother you, so I won't be asking any details about his party! good luck!

Re: Should I be upset???

I just want to say this first. I don't mean to offend anyone here or their DH's or FH's.

Here is the question I ask...What is a person who is getting married in a few days doing in a strip club? What do strippers or lap dances have to do with getting married? I know some ladies don't make a big deal of it but I can't imagine that it doesn't bother them.

I don't feel it's a trust issue. Why would a guy go to a strip club and tell you about it if he was looking to cheat? Honestly, if he/she is looking to cheat it could happen anywhere and anytime but it is probably less likely to happen in a strip club.

Talk to your FI. You are under enough stress with the wedding so close and I am sure if you are honest and tell him your true feelings about the plans you will be able to work out some resoultion. I am all for the guys having a good time with their friends in celebration of his marriage but I don't think involving naked women is necessary.

Re: Should I be upset???

Jenny -

Why do women go to strip clubs for their bachelorette parties?? It's all in good fun.

Personally, it's all so NMS. I'm *extremely* shy!!My party was at Don Juan's and I wouldn't even participate!! I begged my sister (MOH) to play the bride-to-be so they wouldn't make me get on stage!! LOL

For the record, I would have had no problem w/ my DH going to a strip club if that's what his friends and he wanted to do. Then again, he was 39 and his friends are all married. LOL He chose to go to AC for the day.

To each his/her own.

Re: Should I be upset???

Kathi,

I just wanted to respond to Melissa b/c I went through the same thing that she is. Like I said in my post I don't mean to offend anyone. Everyone is different but my idea of good fun is not going to a strip club. I just feel that if one person in the relationship is bothered by the idea of stip clubs that they should talk about it. You should not have to be put under more stress than necessary especially right before the wedding.

Re: Should I be upset???

'What do strippers or lap dances have to do with getting married? '

AMEN!!!!

Re: Should I be upset???

Strip clubs (male and female) are just entertainment.

And if it makes you feel any better, strippers have little desire for your FH other than his wallet. This is a business to them.

Provided he is trustworthy every other day, the bachelor party night should be no different.

Re: Should I be upset???

I totally agree with pmb that it is more for the friends. The friends plan it and I know of many grooms who went along with a night of strip clubs and drinking when they wanted to play golf. My FH's one very untrustworthy friend is already begging me to let the guys take FH away for a night. I totally trust my FH and told his friend that I don't care how they celebrate as long as it isn't going to cost an arm and a leg. Also, I know that my FH wants to play golf

I wouldn't worry about this Melissa. He deserves a night with the guys and if his friends take him to a strip club, so what. Its better than having a party thrown for him at someone's house with one or two girls there. That is gross.

Re: Should I be upset???

melissa, if you trust your fiance then you shouldn't worry about it...strip clubs are not as menacing as they seem...let him go and have a good time with his friends and don't worry about it for a second...i'm sure he's strong enough to withstand any influence his friends may have over him, after all he is committing the rest of his life to you...i have a couple of friends who don't let their fiances/husbands go to strip clubs and although they say 'fine' to their faces, they end up resenting them and going beind their backs anyway...i say as long as it's a once-in-awhile thing, then fine!

Re: Should I be upset???

Calm down - you love and you trust him - right?
Thats all that matters. Why shouldent he have his party? The timing isnt great, but it is what it is. Be happy for him. Im sure his friends will take his suggestions for the evenings plans into account.

Re: Should I be upset???

I wouldn't worry about it. You love and trust him,then you have nothing to worry about. He loves you. He's marrying you. Let him go out with the boys. Just tell him to be careful and not drink himself silly and be sick after.