should i be upset that....

smjack Posted: Dec 08, 2007 02:33 PM

should i be upset that....

my FMIL is wearing the same color as my bridesmaids?

i did choose the bridesmaid's dress color before she got her dress....

BoxOfRocks Posted: Dec 08, 2007 02:35 PM

Re: should i be upset that....

It's somewhat unusual. What is the relationship dynamic between you and FMIL? It could be completely innocent--FMIL loves the color, feels comfortable in it, etc.--or it could be the opposite.

lwny427 Posted: Dec 08, 2007 02:37 PM

Re: should i be upset that....

Did she know or did she just so happen to pick the same color?

Julybride08 Posted: Dec 08, 2007 02:37 PM

Re: should i be upset that....

did she already buy her dress?? I would tell her to chose another color.

debismom Posted: Dec 08, 2007 02:40 PM

Re: should i be upset that....

Posted by smjack

my FMIL is wearing the same color as my bridesmaids?

i did choose the bridesmaid's dress color before she got her dress....

Debi had me a bit confused about the color of my MOB gown. I think she actually suggested having it the same color as the BM, but I thought a lighter shade than the BM. And, I STILL haven't gotten one yet!! I'm bad!!! But, Christine, Fred's cousin, if you're reading this, please tell Beverly to get her dress if she'd like. I don't follow the letter of the tradition law that I have to get my dress first. Mary MOB

PS Christine, if you're on LIW, please FM me!! Would like to meet you!!

smjack Posted: Dec 08, 2007 02:41 PM

Re: should i be upset that....

she knew that was the color.....her thing was that 'she is not the MOB so it didn't matter if she was wearing the same color as the BMs. I don't think that it was malicious- i just think she really didn't care, and didn't think it mattered

Snick n Nick Posted: Dec 08, 2007 02:43 PM

Re: should i be upset that....

well when my mom went MOB dress shopping they asked her if she had a daughter in the bridal party, and since she doesn't they said it won't matter b/c she won't take any pics with the BM. For FMIL it does, since FH's sister is a BM, and they will take pics together of the immediate family, etc. Of course, I think etiquette dictates that it be different, but if she doesn't have a daughter in the bridal party it probably doesn't really matter....might not be worth a battle if it doesn't really upset you!

lwny427 Posted: Dec 08, 2007 02:45 PM

Re: should i be upset that....

Well, it is not like she would be in any pics with the bm's...and I'm sure they are very different styles.

I think it's a bit odd for her to choose the same exact color, but I certainly don't think it's a big fiasco or anything. I would mention it to her and see if she is willing to maybe pick a slightly different shade, if she is still able to make any changes.

smjack Posted: Dec 08, 2007 02:48 PM

Re: should i be upset that....

well, she has a daughter and daughter in law who are BM so she may be in some pictures (we are doing that many formal shots), but I did choose brown, which is a fairly common color.....i think it may just no be worth the battle especially since the wedding is less then a month away, but it just pisses me off...

jenlen Posted: Dec 08, 2007 02:49 PM

Re: should i be upset that....

I think it should be okay...as long as she's not wearing the same color as YOU! What color are your BM dresses? there is a chance that there may be guests wearing the same color as well...so it shouldn't matter.

MrsD71208 Posted: Dec 08, 2007 02:51 PM

Re: should i be upset that....

Is it the same exact shade? I mean, that's really not a big deal if it is either, in my opinion. Some girls feel different than I do though.

I know that my mom is wearing a purple *lighter purple* since my girls are wearing soft pink and I recommended that FMIL wear a pink/light wine to compliment my mom AND my girls. She asked my opinion of course and I suggested it...if she doesn't want to do it then that's fine too...whatever she's comfy in.

smjack Posted: Dec 08, 2007 02:55 PM

Re: should i be upset that....

you girls are right...i shouldnt even worry about it! and really, i haven't worried about it that much until now...i think i am just starting to drive myself a little crazy analyzing too much.....i even let all my BM pick their own dresses- just told them brown, gave a few suggestions and they all got whatever they felt comfortable in and could hopefully wear again!

bluegreen08 Posted: Dec 08, 2007 02:55 PM

Re: should i be upset that....

Hmmm... I don't think it's a bad thing unless you really don't want her to wear that color.

My BMs are wearing an unusual color (a shimmery blue -- see my album) and it would be hard to find another blue that wouldn't clash. My mom, grandma, and FMIL are avoiding blue for this reason. My sis is MOH and will be in a lot of pictures with my mom, so I wanted her to pick a dress that would look nice/not clash with my sister's dress. Her favorite color is a mauve/wine which I think will look great, so that will hopefully work out well. FMIL didn't start looking for dresses yet but she told me she plans to avoid blue and white/ivory and black.

I dont think there's a hardfast rule about matching or not matching the bridal party. whatever you guys decide is fine!