leeserd - don't worry about it. No offense taken :)
Posted by Bridezilla705
I forgot to add a major detail to all of this information. Complicating things even more is that my mil gave my fh the stone from her engagement ring to give to me. Which is so so so so nice of her but it makes me seem even that much more ungrateful if I refuse to use their money for the wedding.... aghhhh.
I don't think you seem ungrateful. You ARE grateful, you just want to have a say in your own wedding.
There has to be a middle gound here. There is no reason FMIL cannot have some things she likes. But there is absolutely no reason for you to dislike anything about your own wedding.
Bridezilla705
Posted:
Member since
Re: Should I cancel my wedding?
Okay well FH is on his way back from work and he knows we are going to sit down and talk about this and come up with a solution so I will let you guys know how this all works out. Thank you so much for all of your help. Reading all of your different perspectives has been so helpful.
FutureMrsCarrieri
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Re: Should I cancel my wedding?
Posted by lizzie217
You said a few times that you do have a good relationship with FMIL although she can be controlling...she honestly may not realize whats shes doing, also since you and FH have been together since you were teens she may still think of you as a kid, plus you know her a long time so she treats you like her own...
I would have a conversation with her,,,if she knew how upset you were I think she'd back off a bit Im sure she just wants you and FH's happiness...HTH
I work with someone who is very controlling and there are people who REALLY get along with her --but that's because they never contradict her and always do whatever she wants.
I thought about my earlier post and felt bad -- of course I think you should do whatever you can to patch things up before you call off the big wedding. I'm just so sick of people being used and run over by manipulating control freaks. They think because we are younger we have to just roll over and take their sh!t. I'm just so sick of it.
Dani777
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Re: Should I cancel my wedding?
I agree as well... You need to sit down with her and your FH and tell her that it's your wedding..that you would like to have her in your wedding, but if she could just step off a bit..? You shouldn't be doing everything HER way on YOUR day.. no matter how involved she may be in her childrens lives. I would DEF not cancel the wedding... rather just hang in there. Yes, you're gonna have to deal with it for the rest of y our life...but rather then just dealing with it...state your feelings to her and express that you can't go on like this. You can't have HER bossing you around ... yet you want no hard feelings.
FutureMrsCarrieri
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Re: Should I cancel my wedding?
Posted by Espo22
I know somebody whose MIL was this and personally saw how bad it can get even with the kids and just remember thinking that i would flip out. If the mother disciplined her kids, not hitting or anything bad but telling them they cant do something, the MIL would come and take the kid in front of the mother and say no dont listen its fine, and would let the kid do just what the mother told the kid not to do.
then
You've got to be kidding -- I would LOSE MY MIND if anyone ever did that to me.
