should i feel Bad? O it gets better...... ETA: The Update! UPDATED I AM BACK!

Ok I am sure a lot of u remember my cousins giving my best friend a hard time about my shower. Everything she tried to do 9she was my MOH) was a problem and when it came time for money they refuse to put in what everyone else put in MY OWN FAMILY!


Then after that i was like I am planning my own Bachelorette party since I kept hearing all the crap that went on with the shower I didnt want anymore crap with my Bachelorette party. I said at first I wanted to goto the city my cousin said I dont want to goto the city I don't want to pay a cover charge to get into a club. Then I changed my mind and wanted to goto atlantic city well the both have babies and didn't want to leave them overnight then I was back at ok lets goto the city.... they werent happy. My mother was able to get a COMPED room in A.C. This sat. I want to go I told my cousins that this would be my Bachelorette party my mom is going to go for the day (she has to be there to check into the room) and she is going to leave that night so if u dont want to leave the babies over night (and their other reason was cause sunday is fathers day and they couldnt do that to their husbands ummmmm I thought fathers day was suppose to be spent with ure child) they could come home on sat. night since my mom didn't want to drive alone. they havent even answered me and they really are acting funny towards me. i feel like I am a bad person cause i am doing what I want to do for my Bachelorette party.


Just a side note. i was in both of their weddings the first one I was really young and they had strippers so I wasnt invited to that bachelorette party. the second one i was only 20 and couldnt get into the Club they went to so they left me outside by myself to wait for mike (who was my Boyfriend at the time) to come pick me up.



should i feel bad? or should I do what I want.




ETA: So my mom calls the two in question last night to tell them about A.C. and they say ooo ok ill let u know.

My cousin (who didnt want to go to the city cause of not wanting to pay a cover charge) husband tells me today (we work together) would you be really upset if she didn't goto atlantic city with you guys? I was like yeah. He's like well I have to work on Saturday I said yeah and her mother offered to babysit?!? And you know she wont leave the baby overnight. I said yeah and my mom is coming home that night and doesnt want to drive alone?!?! And you she said she'd go with ure mother but then she can't smoke in the car! IS SHE KIDDING ME!!!!!!!!!!!! I was like and my mom always stops for peepee brakes?!?! I feel like her smoking habbit is more important then me. Maybe my sleeping habbit is more important then babysitting her child everyweek for free!


So she calls my mom tonight and says Im sorry i am not going to be able to work. If we did something local I'd be able to make it. Why do we have to goto A.C. ? IS SHE FOR REAL. My mom said to her something to do eith cover charges (WHICH WAS HER LIKE A YEAR AGO SHE SAID I DON'T WANT TO GOTO THE CITY I DON'T WANT TO PAY A COVER CHARGE!) She goes who would have said that? My mom said i don't know!!!!!!

Then my other cousin calls and says im sorry I am not going to be able to go I am not walking right still (she had a baby 2 months ago and for the last 4 months of her pregnancy she sat on the couch so the baby laid on her whatever and know she has a hip problem or something) BUT this sat was my little cousin graduation part and That cousin was up there dancing up a storm and she can't walk right so she can't goto atlantic city? I am so mad and upset My family they should be there for me!!!!!!! They have an exscuse for everything! If i said I was going to the city instead they would make something up to. i see who I am important to.

You shouldn't feel bad, they are being selfish. They say they don't want to go to the city, or to AC, but did they come up with any other suggestions for you? I say leave them at home and go have fun with the people that want to have fun.

I can't believe they left you outside a club when you were 20 b/c you couldn't get in! Appalling.

You should do what will make you happy. It is your bachelorette party, your ONLY one, and nobody should make you change what you want to do. Your cousins didn't change their plans for their bachelorette parties to accomodate you when you were younger, so why should you. You should go and do what you want and have a great time regardless of who is there. Don't settle for something you really do not want to do to accomodate others. Its all about you. Have a great time!!!

Thanks Girls. I really am feeling bad about it. I wasn't until just now. I don't know why. i think its because they are my cousins and they should have been there for me before friends. I now see who i am important to.

My cousin said Even if we just hang out at the house ??????? UMMMMM I DO THAT EVERYWEEKEND WHY WOULD I WANT TO DO THAT FOR MY BACHELORETTE PARTY????? THAT WAS HER SUGGESTION TO ME.

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Posted by eogara

You shouldn't feel bad for doing what you want to do. But, you also shouldn't make them feel bad for wanting to spend Father's Day with their husbands and children. If it was reverse and it was Mother's Day, you'd probably be pretty PO'd if your husband left you alone on mother's day for a bachelor party.

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I never made them feel bad I never said anything to them about it. I just let it be. Im not making them feel bad at all. I understand that it's fathers day. I even said you can go on saturday and come home saturday night cause my mom doesn't want to drive home alone!

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Posted by june262004

I never made them feel bad I never said anything to them about it. I just let it be. Im not making them feel bad at all. I understand that it's fathers day. I even said you can go on saturday and come home saturday night cause my mom doesn't want to drive home alone!

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I definitely understand what you're saying and it sucks, especially since they're in the wedding party. But, unfortunately, as much as our wedding is supposed to be about us, people have other things going on in their life. This may be the most important day in our lives to date but it's not the same for them. It sucks, I know - 7 out of 8 of my bridesmaids don't live here and likely will neither be at my shower nor my bachelorette party so I definitely understand where you're coming from.

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Posted by eogara

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Posted by june262004

I never made them feel bad I never said anything to them about it. I just let it be. Im not making them feel bad at all. I understand that it's fathers day. I even said you can go on saturday and come home saturday night cause my mom doesn't want to drive home alone!

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I definitely understand what you're saying and it sucks, especially since they're in the wedding party. But, unfortunately, as much as our wedding is supposed to be about us, people have other things going on in their life. This may be the most important day in our lives to date but it's not the same for them. It sucks, I know - 7 out of 8 of my bridesmaids don't live here and likely will neither be at my shower nor my bachelorette party so I definitely understand where you're coming from.

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I understand what u are saying but I am going to sound really Selfish right now but I am so sick of people saying its not the most important day in their lives. You don't understand I was so nice during this whole thing my friend open heart surgery so i picked dresses where everyone could choose their own top so her scar could be covered. i said I didn't care what kind of shoes they had Id like them to match the dress. Not one girl has the same shoes one is even getting her wedding shoes dyed. I said I don't care what u do with ure hair. My cousin snapped at me and said they will never be able to get my hair up Ill wear it like I did at so and so's wedding. (they were able to get it all up at her own wedding. I babysit everyweek for her for FREE. Throw me a bone. give me something. Because my friend asked them for money and not my mother (cause her mother paid for both of their showers) they hate her they came right out and said I hate APRIL!! She is my best friend and my MOH that made me feel real great! They are selfish and will only do what they want to do! Thanks for the vent. I think I am done now LOL!


and one more thing its impotant to me so therefore Especialy my family should be there.

i SO feel your pain and had a big vent about my cousin the BM earlier today.
my advice for this wknd is do whatever you want and if they go they go. if they hate your MOH its prob better if they dont anyway so you have more fun and no more stress.
my BP is also this wknd (at the jersey shore too) and im following that advice!

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Posted by june262004

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Posted by Salason626

i SO feel your pain and had a big vent about my cousin the BM earlier today.
my advice for this wknd is do whatever you want and if they go they go. if they hate your MOH its prob better if they dont anyway so you have more fun and no more stress.
my BP is also this wknd (at the jersey shore too) and im following that advice!

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just realized we're not only wedding twins but also honeymoon twins and BP twins.

dont feel bad..its your weekend and your wedding..Go to AC with your MOH..you will probably have a great time!

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Posted by june262004


My cousin said Even if we just hang out at the house ??????? UMMMMM I DO THAT EVERYWEEKEND WHY WOULD I WANT TO DO THAT FOR MY BACHELORETTE PARTY????? THAT WAS HER SUGGESTION TO ME.

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i had mine at home and really enjoyed it. sure i would have liked to have gone out but my sister (moh) is only 19 and couldn't. to me it was more important to be with all the girls (some were from out of town) then where we went. so my bridesmaids threw a fantastic party for me in my basement! it was a blast

Do not feel bad.

For my bachelorette party, EVERYONE cancelled at the last minute. So, it was just me and my very best friend in AC for the weekend. but, you know what, I think I had more fun because it was only me and her. It was like the 'old times' for us again.

And, my fi also had his party at AC on the same weekend, so we all met up on Sunday morning for lunch.

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Posted by mattituckprincess

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Posted by june262004


My cousin said Even if we just hang out at the house ??????? UMMMMM I DO THAT EVERYWEEKEND WHY WOULD I WANT TO DO THAT FOR MY BACHELORETTE PARTY????? THAT WAS HER SUGGESTION TO ME.

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i had mine at home and really enjoyed it. sure i would have liked to have gone out but my sister (moh) is only 19 and couldn't. to me it was more important to be with all the girls (some were from out of town) then where we went. so my bridesmaids threw a fantastic party for me in my basement! it was a blast

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See it would have been ok but I live upstairs from her. So I would have just been home. She has a baby that is 10 months so when you are there you have to be quite.

Two of my BM's didn't come to my bachelorette party either and we only went into the city. One said she couldn't afford it but I think it was more she was putting aside money for other things like her kids' birthday parties...I think she really just didn't want to go. Whatever. I'm not mad just disappointed because if I was in her shoes I would suck it up and go, even if it meant not drinking or getting less to eat at the restaurant. You compensate right? And the other one was pregnant. I didn't mind her not coming too much because she was having bad heartburn b/c of pregnancy and her in-laws had just arrived that day for a 2 week visit. And she had a busy month at work the month before I figured OK no biggie. HOwever she didn't live too far from the restaurant, she could have come for that and had rice so as not to upset her heartburn condition. She did say she would come but after telling me all this I couldn't say 'yes please come to the restaurant' I would have sounded like a b*tch.

So I know how you feel. The best advice I can give is to say Feck them, you go do what you want and have a blast. I'm sure you have other friends going with you? It's their loss that they can't leave their kids with the fathers (unless they breastfeed, that's another story) for a few hours and help you have a good night but think of the friends that are going - you guys will have a blast