should i feel guilty? ring related LONG (sorry, need advice)

ok so here's the deal ...

FH picked out my engagement ring all by himself. and that alone makes it the most precious piece of jewelry that i will ever own - short of my wedding band. I love it, dont get me wrong, but it isnt exactly what I would have picked. He knew I wanted princess cut and also pave around the center stone ... so he thought I would love my ring, which i do, I just would have picked something more vintage.

recently, i noticed that my ring is getting YELLOW on the bottom of the band, palm side!! I brought it to the jewelry store where FH bought it and they said its NORMAL? After 5.5 months!!! The owner said that since the ring is white gold, the Rodium wears off and it needs to be 're-rodiumized'. Now I can understand this maybe a few years down the road, but 5.5 months? My concern is that this is something I will have to do 2 times a year! I would have to have my ring sent out for 10 days, 2 times a year? NO WAY


SO ... i've been thinking about taking it somewhere else to have it re-set in Platinum ... to have the Diamonds put into a completely new band. Of course FH agrees it would be a good idea, but he thought we would try and have a band made to look exactly like mine but only in Platinum. Of course in my mind ... this is my oppertunity to have my diamonds re-set so they would look more vintage, more like the ring of my dreams! Is that wrong? I feel totally guilty but its sorta like this is the oppertunity...

1. Is it wrong to have the diamonds re-set differently, not like my ering is now BUT with the same stones - just more vintage looking?

2. can someone recommend a jeweler who does this kind of work?

I say do it, it is not wrong. Let me tell you something, you gonna be looking at that ring for a looooong time. REMEMBER THAT. In fact I dont think you should have the stone 'reset' in a different way. I think you should find the ring that you REALLY want and tell FH the style that your going for.

If this makes him angry, then forget it. But if he truly understands you, then he will do what ever makes you happy. And let hom know that you love the ring that you have on (cause you really do) but you had something slightly different in mind.

My FH picked out my ring all by himself too. And payed atttention to what i told him 'Marquis' cut ring, Vintage style. But I he got me a marquis solitaire, which is far from vintage. And now that i have a marquis on my had, i wish i had a round, but i didnt want to change the shape of the ring.
wish i did though.

We just added and enhancer to the ring, but FH had no problem changing the shape of the ring when i explained it to him. But i decided not to do it. And sometimes i wish i did. But i love my ring regardless.

thanks girls ...

i think I am going to, we will keep the same diamonds b/c I have a princess center stone and then 10 smallers channel set princess cut stones. i was thinking of having them set around the center stone to look more 'vintage' and in platinum to prevent the 'yellow' issue

also, i plan to have the white gold from my original ring melted down and made into two hearts intertwined ... for a necklace

---

Posted by Julybride08

Mine was doing the same thing. I have whitegodl also. They said to have it re dipped right before the wedding. But they didn't say it would take 10 days. Mine isn't that bad thought.

---

it isnt THAT bad yet either, but i hate the thought of it being an ongoing thing. Oh, also, im OCD about everything so it kills me that it isnt perfect, ya know? Im neurotic.

---

Posted by KarinAmanda

thanks girls ...

i think I am going to, we will keep the same diamonds b/c I have a princess center stone and then 10 smallers channel set princess cut stones. i was thinking of having them set around the center stone to look more 'vintage' and in platinum to prevent the 'yellow' issue

also, i plan to have the white gold from my original ring melted down and made into two hearts intertwined ... for a necklace

---

that's a great idea for the necklace!

---

Posted by kellybean

I have a strong oppinion on the 'changing ' of the E ring...I dont think people s hould do .....I think it takes from the sentiment....However.....if you are having issues with the white gold ( tends to turn in the summer not winter from what I have noticed) and you are having a wedding band made in platinum and its in no way changing how FH views the ring then I think its just fine.........you love your ring and the stones just not the issue with the white gold........I say as long as he dosent get hurt go for it ...

---

definately agree

If you want to change the 'look' of your e-ring, that is something you need to discuss with your FH. In the end, that's a decisions you need to make together.

FYI... the Rodium wears off based on how acidic your skin is. My ring is white gold also and it doing just fine, my skin isn't very acidic. Just thought you'd like to know that... it's not the quality of the white gold it's your skin.

Good luck in your decision.

just so everyone understands ... we have discussed it, i am not making this decision alone. ultimately he wants me to be happy! either way, I think we are going to have it reset in Platinum this was my wedding band will be platinum also so we dont have issues with the rodium.

---

Posted by KarinAmanda

ok so here's the deal ...

FH picked out my engagement ring all by himself. and that alone makes it the most precious piece of jewelry that i will ever own - short of my wedding band. I love it, dont get me wrong, but it isnt exactly what I would have picked. He knew I wanted princess cut and also pave around the center stone ... so he thought I would love my ring, which i do, I just would have picked something more vintage.

recently, i noticed that my ring is getting YELLOW on the bottom of the band, palm side!! I brought it to the jewelry store where FH bought it and they said its NORMAL? After 5.5 months!!! The owner said that since the ring is white gold, the Rodium wears off and it needs to be 're-rodiumized'. Now I can understand this maybe a few years down the road, but 5.5 months? My concern is that this is something I will have to do 2 times a year! I would have to have my ring sent out for 10 days, 2 times a year? NO WAY


SO ... i've been thinking about taking it somewhere else to have it re-set in Platinum ... to have the Diamonds put into a completely new band. Of course FH agrees it would be a good idea, but he thought we would try and have a band made to look exactly like mine but only in Platinum. Of course in my mind ... this is my oppertunity to have my diamonds re-set so they would look more vintage, more like the ring of my dreams! Is that wrong? I feel totally guilty but its sorta like this is the oppertunity...

1. Is it wrong to have the diamonds re-set differently, not like my ering is now BUT with the same stones - just more vintage looking?

2. can someone recommend a jeweler who does this kind of work?

---

Actually i'm planning on changing my setting and FH does not care... i wanted pave and mine's more channel set - the biggest thing is my e-ring as it is would not go with the wedding band i like so I'm going to look into changing the setting. I'm paying for it myself though - I wouldn't ask him to pay for it. Debating on changing to platinum also, because mine is turning on the bottom, but there are pros and cons to both so...

I don't think it's wrong to have what you really want - it will be your ring for a long, long time

---

Posted by Julybride08

Mine was doing the same thing. I have whitegodl also. They said to have it re dipped right before the wedding. But they didn't say it would take 10 days. Mine isn't that bad thought.

---

i dont get that... mine is white gold and gold does NOT show through at all and ive had my ring a year and wear it all the time and bang it all the time. I think the reason its doing that is because its yellow gold underneath and dipped in white


I personally feel that a ring should stay the same - its something that FH gave me and put a lot of thought into - and a lot of money into. Its way too sentimental (if i were to change into somethng I wanted then i know i would NEVER feel the same about it when i talked about it or showed it to someone I'd feel it wasnt from FH if that makes sense) FH Already told me never to even think of changing it (Which i wouldnt) - but in your case - you should sit down and talk to your FH about it and how you feel - but dont be surprised if he is a little upset about it.

why not just take the same stone and re-set it in gold or platinum.

Like an above poster said, it depends on how acidic your skin is - there is nothing you can do about it, thats just how you react to the rhodium. So even if you have it redipped, you will be doing this 2x a year forever! That, to me, is worth changing the setting.

---

Posted by ama1771

that happens with white gold, they have to be redipped from time to time. I personally wouldn't change my ring, but it you and your FH are okay with it...

---

i second this!

i noticed this with my ring a couple months ago... i think it has a lot to do with the fact that i NEVER (and i mean never) take off my ring... its too small to fit over my knuckle so i'm always afraid to keep taking it off and putting it back on b/c i dont want the diamond to get loose! lol

---

Posted by jgl

---

Posted by Julybride08

Mine was doing the same thing. I have whitegodl also. They said to have it re dipped right before the wedding. But they didn't say it would take 10 days. Mine isn't that bad thought.

---

i dont get that... mine is white gold and gold does NOT show through at all and ive had my ring a year and wear it all the time and bang it all the time. I think the reason its doing that is because its yellow gold underneath and dipped in white


I personally feel that a ring should stay the same - its something that FH gave me and put a lot of thought into - and a lot of money into. Its way too sentimental (if i were to change into somethng I wanted then i know i would NEVER feel the same about it when i talked about it or showed it to someone I'd feel it wasnt from FH if that makes sense) FH Already told me never to even think of changing it (Which i wouldnt) - but in your case - you should sit down and talk to your FH about it and how you feel - but dont be surprised if he is a little upset about it.

---

Yes I agree. I could never change my ring- anything about it. Because FH picked it out all by himself and that has so much sentimental value to it. I wouldnt even change it if he said would you like a bigger diamond! First of all IMO it isnt about hte ring and having to stare at it for the rest of your life. I am more concerned of having the love of my life by myside forever. yes if I ever lost the ring I wuld be soo upset but I feel the ring is more materialistic. And it doesnt prove that you have a happy marriage or a better marriage or are rich etc. haha sorry I am rambling. But I definitely think you are in the right position with speaking to FH and having hte decision made together. But I wouldnt feel bad if FH told you he doesnt mind.

Oh and I am probbaly going todip my ring since it is white gold. But it is free at where I got my ering but also Jessaroo2 got it done and it cost her 25$ in the Bayshore mall and they did it within 45 min. I dont know hwy it wuold take 10 day!!

---

Posted by jgl

---

Posted by Julybride08

Mine was doing the same thing. I have whitegodl also. They said to have it re dipped right before the wedding. But they didn't say it would take 10 days. Mine isn't that bad thought.

---

i dont get that... mine is white gold and gold does NOT show through at all and ive had my ring a year and wear it all the time and bang it all the time. I think the reason its doing that is because its yellow gold underneath and dipped in white


I personally feel that a ring should stay the same - its something that FH gave me and put a lot of thought into - and a lot of money into. Its way too sentimental (if i were to change into somethng I wanted then i know i would NEVER feel the same about it when i talked about it or showed it to someone I'd feel it wasnt from FH if that makes sense) FH Already told me never to even think of changing it (Which i wouldnt) - but in your case - you should sit down and talk to your FH about it and how you feel - but dont be surprised if he is a little upset about it.

---

actually i feared the yellow dipped in white thing too but the owner of the jewelry store told us that white gold is not WHITE gold, rather a combination of many types, yellow, nickle and some others. They are ALL coated with Rodium to make it sparkle, shine etc and eventually the rodium will wear on ALL of them. There is no such thing as white gold! All white gold is a mixture of many types of minerals, yellow gold, rose gold etc.

---

Posted by KarinAmanda

---

Posted by jgl

---

Posted by Julybride08

Mine was doing the same thing. I have whitegodl also. They said to have it re dipped right before the wedding. But they didn't say it would take 10 days. Mine isn't that bad thought.

---

i dont get that... mine is white gold and gold does NOT show through at all and ive had my ring a year and wear it all the time and bang it all the time. I think the reason its doing that is because its yellow gold underneath and dipped in white


I personally feel that a ring should stay the same - its something that FH gave me and put a lot of thought into - and a lot of money into. Its way too sentimental (if i were to change into somethng I wanted then i know i would NEVER feel the same about it when i talked about it or showed it to someone I'd feel it wasnt from FH if that makes sense) FH Already told me never to even think of changing it (Which i wouldnt) - but in your case - you should sit down and talk to your FH about it and how you feel - but dont be surprised if he is a little upset about it.

---

actually i feared the yellow dipped in white thing too but the owner of the jewelry store told us that white gold is not WHITE gold, rather a combination of many types, yellow, nickle and some others. They are ALL coated with Rodium to make it sparkle, shine etc and eventually the rodium will wear on ALL of them. There is no such thing as white gold! All white gold is a mixture of many types of minerals, yellow gold, rose gold etc.

---

this is what I was told also !