hey u called yourself bridezilla the other day remember lol
RAWR
zoe282
Posted:
Member since
Re: Should I replace my inattentive BM's?
I agree it stinks when some of your BP isn't as excited and helpful as you want them to be, but I think you need to remember you asked these people for a reason. WEddings have become such a production, and the bridal parties purpose is supposed to be to stand up for you at your wedding. Now it's turned into that they should act as though it's their own wedding! I have people in my BP that won't return e mails and never ask how things are going....but you know what? i still want them there with me on that day to support me. I think there will always be some who are more into it then others...so lean on them more. As far as the tickets i know tons of people FH included that love waiting till the last minute. they could be like these people....hang in there i wouldn't change anything...
jessicaNmike2008
Posted:
Member since
Re: Should I replace my inattentive BM's?
if you want to add someone, add her..... but dont feel like you have to make things even
Kimbalina
Posted:
Member since
Re: Should I replace my inattentive BM's?
OK.. I dont want this to come out wrong, I have nothing but good intentions in making this statement.. BUT
You tend to speak negatively on the planning on here. You have stated that you did not want a wedding and eloping would have been your choice. Are they POSSIBLY hearing this or getting this vibe from you so they dont think it is important or meaningful so they don't 'care'?
madseason
Posted:
Member since
Re: Should I replace my inattentive BM's?
Kim - I would take a few days and really think about it. There are so many things that I have experienced during wedding planning that I thought werent important to me - and they wound up being really important. for instance, a center aisle and an even BP. I let a lot sit and have had to make up for it now.
Are you really being honest with your feelings? I found out I wasnt.
Take a look at your BP the way it is now. Think about it...think about how you want them to look walking down the aisle, think about how you want pictures to look, and the first dance, etc. how you want that look of uniformity to present itself on your wedding day. If you picked an even BP to begin with, it might still be important to you.
However-
I would also think about it this way. Is there a sense a peacefulness and harmony with the BP now? Is it worth changing? If its not broke dont fix it rule....it was already broken, but does it still need fixing.
I would give it a few days and really just think
LuvMyAlfonse
Posted:
Member since
Re: Should I replace my inattentive BM's?
Tell them you need to have the dresses ordered by April 10 - the latest - and that they all have to be measured before then. Tell them the dresses have to be ordered at the same time so you know they'll come from the same dye lot. If they can't do it before then, you understand they'll have to step down.
LuvMyAlfonse
Posted:
Member since
Re: Should I replace my inattentive BM's?
Remember - no one cares about your wedding as much as you do.
And no one wants reminders of how important this day is. No one really cares (except for the people that really like you).
MrsK2008
Posted:
Member since
Re: Should I replace my inattentive BM's?
Posted by Kimbalina
OK.. I dont want this to come out wrong, I have nothing but good intentions in making this statement.. BUT
You tend to speak negatively on the planning on here. You have stated that you did not want a wedding and eloping would have been your choice. Are they POSSIBLY hearing this or getting this vibe from you so they dont think it is important or meaningful so they don't 'care'?
they all knew I wanted to elope, they all also know how much I love Paul and basically all of this is a gesture of my love for him. They absolutely know how important it is to me.
Basically what it all comes down to is that I expected them to do what they said they were going to do, I gave them a timeline and deadlines for dress orders. I found hair and make up artists for 50$ each to save money and FH and I were going to pay 30% of hotel expense.
Seriously...........they are being brats. My Mom, their Aunt has done sao much for them in their lives. From sending them money while they were in college, to taking all of us on a cruise and paying for our vacations. I expected them to have so much more respect for my mother and step up and be responsible if not for me then for her.
That is my problem, I expected something.
MrsK2008
Posted:
Member since
Re: Should I replace my inattentive BM's?
Posted by madseason
Kim - I would take a few days and really think about it. There are so many things that I have experienced during wedding planning that I thought werent important to me - and they wound up being really important. for instance, a center aisle and an even BP. I let a lot sit and have had to make up for it now.
Are you really being honest with your feelings? I found out I wasnt.
Take a look at your BP the way it is now. Think about it...think about how you want them to look walking down the aisle, think about how you want pictures to look, and the first dance, etc. how you want that look of uniformity to present itself on your wedding day. If you picked an even BP to begin with, it might still be important to you.
However-
I would also think about it this way. Is there a sense a peacefulness and harmony with the BP now? Is it worth changing? If its not broke dont fix it rule....it was already broken, but does it still need fixing.
I would give it a few days and really just think
It's done and over. In fact, my Aunt and my cousins' mother has emailed the rest of the family and told them all how shamefully I have behaved. Yes, I am so shameful. They aren't even going to come..............you know what they never were!!!
Unfortunately this is going to spark another war in my family.
They are going to be on the receiving end of the retaliation. They all rely on my mom so much, for everything from babysitting to doiung their taxes.
They will be in shock when they find my mom is no longer as warm and welcoming as she once was.
I knew my family was rotten from the beginning, I remained hopeful.
In conclusion, I was right all along and it was seriously stupid of me to even think that the people who have behaved so badly in my past could have possibly changed.
I also picked my BP too quickly. I wanted to change some people out and make it smaller after I already asked but when I talked with my FFIL he said it right. 'You made your decision and you have to stick with it.' It may not be what it should but it is what it is. At first my BP wasnt involved and some still arent but I cant make them want to be totally involved.
I would settle for somewhat involved.
My sister, being the stoic character that she is, has single handedly planned for as well as paid for my bridal shower.
They wouldn't even address invites!
kellybean
Posted:
Member since
Re: Should I replace my inattentive BM's?
I wish I would have went with my gut and made the changes to my bridal party I wanted to instead of worrying about how others would feel.
Kimbalina
Posted:
Member since
Re: Should I replace my inattentive BM's?
Wow! I dont know what to say, except to give you lots of well wishes and hugs!
MrsK2008
Posted:
Member since
Re: Should I replace my inattentive BM's?
Posted by Kimbalina
Wow! I dont know what to say, except to give you lots of well wishes and hugs!
thanks!
You know, one of the things I learned to do a long time ago was stand up for myself.
If I didn't eliminate them now, I would have been so stressed out.
madseason
Posted:
Member since
Re: Should I replace my inattentive BM's?
Posted by MrsK2008
Posted by madseason
Kim - I would take a few days and really think about it. There are so many things that I have experienced during wedding planning that I thought werent important to me - and they wound up being really important. for instance, a center aisle and an even BP. I let a lot sit and have had to make up for it now.
Are you really being honest with your feelings? I found out I wasnt.
Take a look at your BP the way it is now. Think about it...think about how you want them to look walking down the aisle, think about how you want pictures to look, and the first dance, etc. how you want that look of uniformity to present itself on your wedding day. If you picked an even BP to begin with, it might still be important to you.
However-
I would also think about it this way. Is there a sense a peacefulness and harmony with the BP now? Is it worth changing? If its not broke dont fix it rule....it was already broken, but does it still need fixing.
I would give it a few days and really just think
It's done and over. In fact, my Aunt and my cousins' mother has emailed the rest of the family and told them all how shamefully I have behaved. Yes, I am so shameful. They aren't even going to come..............you know what they never were!!!
Unfortunately this is going to spark another war in my family.
They are going to be on the receiving end of the retaliation. They all rely on my mom so much, for everything from babysitting to doiung their taxes.
They will be in shock when they find my mom is no longer as warm and welcoming as she once was.
Nononono Kim you might have missed my point...
In NO WAY DO i FEEL you should consider having them back in. I amed that about inviting friends, do you really need them? do you really want even BP - how important is it really, and being honest with your plain ol desires for that part of the wedding, not whos in it....
and if you already fixed your BP by kickin out the PITAs or does it still need fixin by - do you need/want your friends..
HELL NO bringin them back!
I just wouldnt rush to be like ok come in, if your bp is fine, or say no, and then wish u had ur friends....
am i confusing u more????
MrsK2008
Posted:
Member since
Re: Should I replace my inattentive BM's?
Posted by madseason
[
and if you already fixed your BP by kickin out the PITAs or does it still need fixin by - do you need/want your friends..
HELL NO bringin them back!
I just wouldnt rush to be like ok come in, if your bp is fine, or say no, and then wish u had ur friends....
am i confusing u more????
I am so OK without adding more people. The 5 other gals are just freakin' awesome!
We are going to tear up VEGAS!!!
(mom included, she just doesnt know it yet)
DGoldfarb0776
Posted:
Member since
Re: Should I replace my inattentive BM's?
I would replace them with more attentive BM's that appreciate and would love to help out.
