Should this bother me???

I think it is a wonderful idea!! It means alot to the two of you, and that is what counts.

If FMil is going to make a big deal about it, here is a suggestion. I have seen a few girls on here put there donation slip on top of a pretty box filled with chocolate or some kind of candy. Maybe, she will be happier with this idea.

Stand your ground on this one, people won't think ' where is my favor'.

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Posted by Thumballina

We are also doing a donation in memory of my father to the Cancer Society...and if someone at my wedding has a problem with not receiving a $1.50 knick knack tell them to come to me...I'll give them a knick knack

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LOL i'd like to give my FMIL a knick knack!!! did i just say that?!! LOL

I think that the donation is a wonderful idea and it obviously means something to both you and your FH. I would definitely do it!!! And I think that you should have your FH talk to his mother and let her know that this is what you guys decided to do and that it the final decision. Trust me, no one is going to mind not getting another wine stopper! They will be very happy with your donation and think that was a great idea!!!

Do what you want and don't listen to the IL's!

UPDATE...
We actually talked to her last night. After reading everything you guys wrote and thinking even more about my friend that was killed it made me SO certain to do things our way!
I LOVE the idea of a little something with it like candy or chocolate which normally I would definitely do but because of what she said and how she said it with the 'Well then, if you don't want to I'll pick something and just pay for it myself.'
After that I became even more defiant on doing what I wanted to do and not caring about 'pleasing' anyone who I feel is being selfish and childish to begin with. Plus, it hurt my feelings that she didn't care about what I wanted at my wedding.
Also, I love the idea of donating so much that when I read what some of you put about donating flowers and food I decided to do that TOO! GREAT IDEAS GIRLS!!
So last night me and my amazing FH (who truly is the greatest because he ALWAYS stands by me 120%, I have to make that clear!) approach her about this and I, who normally lets him do it, said politely of course but FIRMLY still that we thought about what she said about the favors, looked at a bunch, and just could not see taking away from the message of donating and what we are trying to do with our friend's memory with a $2.50 favor. Her: silence. LOL
So then I said that I would definitely do a nice favor for our e-party of course but for the wedding we are going to put a card either in a frame or not but something at each person's spot that says what charity we are donating to (MADD) and who and why it is that charity (Kenny-our friend). So, that was that. She was NOT a happy camper but did not (to my surprise) argue--maybe b/c I was firm but nice about it. I said and we are also going to have it written somewhere that all flowers will be donated to a nursing home or children's ward of a hospital along with any left over food going to the Veteran's homeless shelter. She did say, in her own way, Well, that's nice. lol
YAY FH and I win!! There is no doubt in my mind that I will here comments from her in the future about how we should have done it her way and we are being rude and people will hate us for it but that's okay as long as it's our way in the end which it will be!
THANK-YOU SO MUCH EVERYONE!!!

I think what you are wanting to you do is a great idea. I am doing a donation to the cancer association. 3 sister's of mine all went through cancer and thank god they are fine now, but it's the thought that counts.

The favors I receive from other weddings, I never use and they end up in the garbage anyway.

You do what you feel is best!

Glad you talked to her and straightened it out.

We did a donation favor as well, but also gave out a small box of chocolates.