should you send a gift if you can't attend shower?

Original post by aliwnec10

Jan 19, 2006 09:15 AM

Okay ladies... i have another question for you all.

If you cannot attend a wedding shower, should you still send a gift?

I always have, but a few of my friends from college weren't aware of this 'rule.' They thought you only had to get a gift if you were going. Is this true?

angel77 Posted: Jan 19, 2006 10:23 AM

Re: should you send a gift if you can't attend shower?

Posted by MissingTheBGene

It depends on who the person is. Recently, I was invited to a shower that I didn't even know the bride. I was asked at another function, did not receive an actual invite and they didn't even have my name, I was 'FI's fiance'. I wasn't able to attend, and I did not send a gift.

If it's someone I know, then yes, I would send a gift.

I agree, obviously if it is a close friend or family member you definitely have to but if you are invited to someone's that you barely know then I would think you wouldn't have to.

BlondeJD Posted: Jan 19, 2006 10:23 AM

Re: should you send a gift if you can't attend shower?

For me, it depends on how close I am to the person.

tann22 Posted: Jan 19, 2006 10:24 AM

Re: should you send a gift if you can't attend shower?

definitely.

natiepie1028 Posted: Jan 19, 2006 10:27 AM

Re: should you send a gift if you can't attend shower?

I'll be honest. Up until a few years ago, i never knew you had to send a gift. I was really never big on etiquette so i never knew. But now I do give gifts. It a nice gesture to do so. IMO

ETAB Posted: Jan 19, 2006 10:31 AM

Re: should you send a gift if you can't attend shower?

Posted by aliwnec10

well someone put NO... so i'm curious to anyone's opinion who doesn't think it's necessary.

I mean quite a few of my friends (from Ma & Vt) didn't think it was necessary and it didn't even occur to them... so there must be quite a few people who don't send gifts.

I also think people who arent from the tristate area have a different mentality when it comes to weddings. i was in a wedding in Virginia and one of the bridesmaid gave $25.00 as a gift!!! NY weddings are extremely different.

cammolax23 Posted: Jan 19, 2006 10:34 AM

Re: should you send a gift if you can't attend shower?

If they are giving you the pleasure of being in attendance at their shower then you should as courtesy give a gift, whether its just a gift certificate to their registry or wherever.

If it is someone you are close you should either send a gift with someone else or give them something afterwards. Sometimes its nice to set up a special lunch or whatever so you can actually have some QT with them