So I am from PA and my FH and his family are from LI....we are getting married in PA and that is where my family is from. My mom is being generous and throwing me a shower, and my sister who is my MOH is planning it. So she was very nice and asked my FMIL what days are good for her cause she is going to book the spot...and my FMIL flipped out. She called me and told me I was selfish for wanting in PA when her friends are here...I told her I was the bride and her response was but I'm the mother of the groom!
She wants to throw me another shower here, which is nice of her, but I want 1 shower. We had 2 engagment parties and most of my friends and bridal party (who most live here) didn't come to my party in PA and my family was hurt. And i don't want to do that to my mom this time. I want 1 special shower. Plus it's only 1 hour and 45 mins away. I don't think it's that far. If people want to celebrate with me they'll find a way. I just couldn't believe she had the gall to call and yell at me for something I want. I have been soooo good. She saw the RH before I booked, she went dress shopping with me and my mom, I invited her to the GNO event at fortunoff.....I think that's pretty involved.
Sorry this is sooo long I just needed to vent...
jsta76
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Re: Shower drama already!
Can FH talk to her about it at all?
I had a similar problem because my sister wants to throw a small shower and is limiting FMIL on her guest list. Plus there were several out of town people who couldn't make it from out of state. I spoke with FH and told him I was adamant about only having one shower.
It seemed to work itself out. Good luck
Espo22
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Re: Shower drama already!
Posted by zoe282
We are doing a Saturday shower so people won't hit the Sunday LI traffic
will there be older guests, 4 hour travel time total is alot. For example fh's grandmother wouldn't be able to do it, and she would be crushed is she weren't able to go.
zoe282
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Re: Shower drama already!
No older guest. FH doesn't have any older family anymore.
As for halfway I don't feel like i need to inconvience the whole guest list. If people will drive the hour and a half to get to NJ then I think they should be fine about driving the 2 hours to PA.
Showers are just inconvient. I drove and hour and a half to Jersey for my friends shower and it took me 4 hours to get home. I went cause I wanted to be there and that is where she is from.
Good bad or indifferent I am from another state/town...not one that involves a plain ride and not one that is very far. I want 1 shower....and I think that my decision should be respected. I went over it with my bridal party and my friends and they are all fine with it. If they are then so should the good friends of my FMIL.
LuvMyAlfonse
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Re: Shower drama already!
I am with you - have the ONE shower. Tough noogies on your FMIL.
Espo22
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Re: Shower drama already!
Posted by zoe282
No older guest. FH doesn't have any older family anymore.
As for halfway I don't feel like i need to inconvience the whole guest list. If people will drive the hour and a half to get to NJ then I think they should be fine about driving the 2 hours to PA.
Showers are just inconvient. I drove and hour and a half to Jersey for my friends shower and it took me 4 hours to get home. I went cause I wanted to be there and that is where she is from.
Good bad or indifferent I am from another state/town...not one that involves a plain ride and not one that is very far. I want 1 shower....and I think that my decision should be respected. I went over it with my bridal party and my friends and they are all fine with it. If they are then so should the good friends of my FMIL.
well its your shower so of course do what you want, i was just giving an honest opinion not judging and just letting you know how they might feel...also the reason i said something was bc i have done things during this planning that made me feel horrible afterwards just dont want anyone to feel like that...In the beginning there was something i was VERY adamant about, and there was no and if's or buts about it. Well it caused drama and at first i was like this is how i want it and blah blah blah, well in the end i hurt peoples feelings bc i didnt see it from their point of view, i feel horrible and it was uncomfortable for a short period of time and i realized why go through this for that was it really worth it to cause an uncomfortable atmosphere and to hurt peoples feelings...Your situation may be different dont know exactly how it will turn out or exactly how your FH's family feels. Some people wont care and others yes will.
zoe282
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Re: Shower drama already!
I totally appreciate honesty! If i didn't I wouldn't post...lol That's whats great about this site...getting other peopls ideas and insite to things. (unbiased people who don't really know you) So I totally appreciate it.
Espo22
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Re: Shower drama already!
Posted by zoe282
I totally appreciate honesty! If i didn't I wouldn't post...lol That's whats great about this site...getting other peopls ideas and insite to things. (unbiased people who don't really know you) So I totally appreciate it.
well hopefully they will travel to your shower and there wont be any drama, maybe your FH can try to talk to them
Future Mulligan
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Re: Shower drama already!
people are already complaining about my wedding - very very close relatives - b/c the RH is 40 minutes away and in LI - im blocking out hotel rooms - but they are too expensive - so you want to know what - dont come at all or stay at a motel!!....people are selfish and only care about themselves......traveling never bothers me or FH, i dont know why its such a big deal to some people......if you want one shower, have one shower......seriously its only ONE day out of their lives, they'll get over it...........JMO
Espo22
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Re: Shower drama already!
Posted by Future Mulligan
people are already complaining about my wedding - very very close relatives - b/c the RH is 40 minutes away and in LI - im blocking out hotel rooms - but they are too expensive - so you want to know what - dont come at all or stay at a motel!!....people are selfish and only care about themselves......traveling never bothers me or FH, i dont know why its such a big deal to some people......if you want one shower, have one shower......seriously its only ONE day out of their lives, they'll get over it...........JMO
for weddings i dont mind, ive even gone to florida lol that was a long commute
can you block another hotel for them...You can do la quinta that is right by JT and that hotel also provides shuttle service for your guests
Espo22
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Re: Shower drama already!
ALSO fh and i do travel to parties, even if its a long drive when it comes down to it theres nothing to do about it and you go...i just know some ppl feel differently.
Espo22
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Re: Shower drama already!
Ok sorry for all the posts but Zoe how about asking her to do something specific for the shower so this way she feels involved...greeks have alot of traditions and things they do for parties maybe say oh we would love it if you did this for the shower, maybe this way it will help ease the situation
Future Mulligan
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Re: Shower drama already!
Posted by Espo22
Posted by Future Mulligan
people are already complaining about my wedding - very very close relatives - b/c the RH is 40 minutes away and in LI - im blocking out hotel rooms - but they are too expensive - so you want to know what - dont come at all or stay at a motel!!....people are selfish and only care about themselves......traveling never bothers me or FH, i dont know why its such a big deal to some people......if you want one shower, have one shower......seriously its only ONE day out of their lives, they'll get over it...........JMO
for weddings i dont mind, ive even gone to florida lol that was a long commute
can you block another hotel for them...You can do la quinta that is right by JT and that hotel also provides shuttle service for your guests
thats most likely where we will book (if LaQuinta is as good as it was when it was the Wingate Inn) - but my family is just a bunch of miserable complainers - they made comments about how we should have picked a place down the block in staten island (not for nothing, JMO, the Hilton is beautiful and is the only place on SI i would get married at - all the other places are dumps) so they think I should get married at one of these crappy places so they only have to drive 5 minutes - give me a break! my Mom was SOOOO PISSED Luckily FH's family LOVES to party and they are the total opposite - they are happy for us and they all can't wait for the wedding - where my family acts like its a chore for them to attend....my Mom said they are very jealous, miserable people - and it def shows!
zoe282
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Re: Shower drama already!
That's a good idea. I'll try to figure out some way to include her other then in location. I'll give her some sort of job....she'll like that.
Espo22
Posted:
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Re: Shower drama already!
Posted by Future Mulligan
Posted by Espo22
Posted by Future Mulligan
people are already complaining about my wedding - very very close relatives - b/c the RH is 40 minutes away and in LI - im blocking out hotel rooms - but they are too expensive - so you want to know what - dont come at all or stay at a motel!!....people are selfish and only care about themselves......traveling never bothers me or FH, i dont know why its such a big deal to some people......if you want one shower, have one shower......seriously its only ONE day out of their lives, they'll get over it...........JMO
for weddings i dont mind, ive even gone to florida lol that was a long commute
can you block another hotel for them...You can do la quinta that is right by JT and that hotel also provides shuttle service for your guests
thats most likely where we will book (if LaQuinta is as good as it was when it was the Wingate Inn) - but my family is just a bunch of miserable complainers - they made comments about how we should have picked a place down the block in staten island (not for nothing, JMO, the Hilton is beautiful and is the only place on SI i would get married at - all the other places are dumps) so they think I should get married at one of these crappy places so they only have to drive 5 minutes - give me a break! my Mom was SOOOO PISSED Luckily FH's family LOVES to party and they are the total opposite - they are happy for us and they all can't wait for the wedding - where my family acts like its a chore for them to attend....my Mom said they are very jealous, miserable people - and it def shows!
one of my bridesmaids is getting married at the hilton in SI, i saw pics and it is beautiful
Espo22
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Re: Shower drama already!
Posted by zoe282
That's a good idea. I'll try to figure out some way to include her other then in location. I'll give her some sort of job....she'll like that.
yeah i know greeks always make some sort of favor type things, they're also big on the jordan almonds with tulle. Maybe this way she'll focus on that lol
zoe282
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Re: Shower drama already!
Future Mulligan....I guess there is always going to be some sort of drama. My family are the partiers and are so excited for our wedding. They even booked hotel rooms for after the party in their own town so that they can fully enjoy themselves and celebrate with us....my FH's family keeps saying how I am having a 'destination wedding' lol and how not everything has to be a party so they are driving back the night after the wedding...who knows.
I saw we just enjoy ourselves...try to realize that all this drama will go away after the wedding and just have fun being engaged:)
Espo22
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Re: Shower drama already!
Posted by zoe282
Future Mulligan....I guess there is always going to be some sort of drama. My family are the partiers and are so excited for our wedding. They even booked hotel rooms for after the party in their own town so that they can fully enjoy themselves and celebrate with us....my FH's family keeps saying how I am having a 'destination wedding' lol and how not everything has to be a party so they are driving back the night after the wedding...who knows.
I saw we just enjoy ourselves...try to realize that all this drama will go away after the wedding and just have fun being engaged:)
as of this week this has been my motto...I realized for a while now its UGh i have so much to do or ugh i have to pay this or whatever...then it hit me-this is the time we have all dreamt about for so long why make it miserable. Ive also been doing everything on my own and i feel horrible, im my moms only child she probably wants to be a big part of it too and have that bonding, so i am going to involve people more...Ive been really sad about this lately and from now on i am gonna make the planning more fun and just really enjoy it.
zoe282
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Re: Shower drama already!
So far every part has been sooo fun for me...so this little blip shouldn't ruin it....I agree just enjoy it! You are only (hopefully) engaged once so why not enjoy every second.
Great motto!
Espo22
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Re: Shower drama already!
Posted by zoe282
So far every part has been sooo fun for me...so this little blip shouldn't ruin it....I agree just enjoy it! You are only (hopefully) engaged once so why not enjoy every second.
Great motto!
yeah at first i did enjoy it, but after a while i guess it changed, ive been engaged for over a year but i shouldnt have let that effect my mood. Exactly its not worth it
Future Mulligan
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Re: Shower drama already!
Yeah, who cares about everyone else! we should be enjoying this time with our FH's - F the Haters!!!!
