Since I have a new problem every day....

Alicia,

We never used to fight either but we and you have never been in this situation before either. Planning a wedding is a whole new ball game. Problems, discussions and fights are going to arise that you have never experienced before. You are not alone as you can see! I am happy that you are able to take some comfort knowing that!

Keep your chin up!! If you truly love him then you guys should be able to work it out!!

I guess fights we used to have..I just couldnt wait to make up so we could just be normal..now lately, we have these fights and I actually am in no hurry to make up..I surrise myself with the fact that I just dont like him sometimes. Is that normal..I take it as bad. But I am learning that I am way more naive than I thought. Clueless even about living with a guy...its just out of control. Ill figure it out...but thankyou again!! \Thanks to everyone!!

Do you want the list of what I don't like about Frankie? I can even tell you the list about me that he doesn't like!! But I love him and he is a good man!! You have to ask yourself, are the things that you don't like about him things that you can live with forever? Do they annoy me about him---- YES! but I know that he is a wonderful man. No one is perfect and there will always be things about the person that you wished he/she would do differently but are they major? Do they prevent you from loving that person? From having a relationship?

I don't know if I am making any sense or not?

Wow - reading all of your posts definitely makes me feel better. Aliciahelene - my FI and I had a huge fight the other night and for the first time talked about calling all of this off (buying a house, getting married) - we are both so stressed out and we're not working together - we're working against eachother and blaming eachother for everything. I'm not sure how this happened and I know it's going on but I can't stop it. We're both a bit older and have been in serious relationships before (I'm 31 - he's 35) but never before have we experienced these feelings. I still haven't figured out how the stress is doing this to us but we've worked it out for now and I feel like we can make it to the alter. But it's such a personal thing - no one knows the dynamics in your relationship except for the two of you. But know that you're not alone!!!

Alicia, I'm so glad to hear you guys are going to counseling. There's so much more to this than you're able to convey in this forum.
Prior to being engaged, I FH and I both had our share of problems when I thought this was never going to work. We worked on some things about oursleves because we all have issues but ultimately, the things that bother you now, or the complaints you have now, you can't go into this hoping he's going to change. Going into a marriage, we need to love and accept all the things about our men as they are on the day we accept their proposal.
I think it's great that you are both committed to the counseling. That says alot about a guy when they're willing to do that.

If you decide to remain together, be prepared to work on yourselves and your communication. If you end up going your separate ways, you will come out stronger and you WILL find love again! I promise!!!
This is a huge decision for you both and I wish you the best.

Alicia,
I am praying that everything works out for you guys!!! I wish you lots of luck with the counseling!!!

I love all of you guys for your support. I talk to you guys more tahn i do my own friends. Is funny.
Tye Psychologist told me last night that if I even think or hope that there is even asmall chance that I can wokr on this, then I need to move back home. He said we can work on things when Im living a hour away only showing up for a counsleing appt. He told me to come back home and try a another month of counseling to see how I feel. I still have no clue how I feel, but Im going to try it. I didnt discover a new side of his personality...hes a great guy..I just discovered that I really just dont like him when we fight.
I am mostly learning about myself,.I thought a good healthy marriage was different, now that Im talking to people, such as you all and family members, I am finding out that we may be ok. Im not sure. The fact that Im doubting my actual feelings scares me, but when we fight every single day.. think it may be normal that Im feeling this, especially with a wedding in a few months..I FREAK out..I look at all of this fighting..and I think ' this is how my life is going to be'...its scary!!!

You guys dont know how much you all have helped me....I mean it!!!! I couldnt ask for nicer people...and all this time I was just on here to plan a wedding. Whod have known that Id end up spllin my guts on here.