So angry!!!!!!!!!!!

let me just give you some

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Posted by DWKSwed

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Posted by elp6421

honestly, it's just the point of it. I don't see why he could not have waited the 10 months until after my wedding. Her fiance's brother is also getting married. It's like they have decided since everyone else is doing it they have to to...

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Why should either of them have to wait ten months to get engaged, just because that's when you chose to get married? Don't mean to be harsh but you have been engaged for what, ten months already where it was all about you and your wedding, and they're not even planning to have the wedding for another two years. I'm sure she is VERY hurt that instead of being happy for her and congratulating her, you told her you're hurt and angry with her. I can't imagine even wanting to be a MOH for someone that reacted that way to my engagement.

I understand you're pissed, and I understand why... but you need to check your emotions because it's not all about you, today was supposed to be about her. The issues with your family's reaction is a different story, take that up with them.

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ITA!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh boy, you came here to vent and I know you got everything you didn't want to hear. First of all, I'm sorry you're feeling this way! I think that we just get so excited about our engagement and want everyone around us to be just as happy as we are, but sometimes it doesn't work out that way. I can see where you're coming from and I don't think any of us know the relationship you have with your sister to truly understand where these emotions stem from. I just want to say though that I do agree that whatever you're feeling you need to keep between FH and you, and vent to him! This is an exciting time for your sister and I just think after you've gone through all of these emotions you need to be there for her too. Be happy for her the way you wanted everyone to be happy for you too. Just be the better person here as much as it hurts you. HTH a little.

I think the whole thing stems from your parent's reaction to your engagement and then doing backflips for your sister... Honestly that would bother me too then. I think we would all be a little hurt if our parents could care less about our weddings and then threw a parade for our siblings... look at my FMIL and what she does to favor FBIL over FH, it's hurtful and really causes bad blood between siblings.

I know it's difficult to separate the two but if your sister is waiting until after your wedding I wouldn't let that bother you. FBIL got engaged after knowing a girl for 3 months and is having a 5 month engagement all so he can beat us down the aisle. If he was waiting I wouldn't care... at least your sister is showing you respect by waiting unti after your wedding... (think silver lining!!! )

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Posted by mrsdraskin2009

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Posted by DWKSwed

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Posted by elp6421

honestly, it's just the point of it. I don't see why he could not have waited the 10 months until after my wedding. Her fiance's brother is also getting married. It's like they have decided since everyone else is doing it they have to to...

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Why should either of them have to wait ten months to get engaged, just because that's when you chose to get married? Don't mean to be harsh but you have been engaged for what, ten months already where it was all about you and your wedding, and they're not even planning to have the wedding for another two years. I'm sure she is VERY hurt that instead of being happy for her and congratulating her, you told her you're hurt and angry with her. I can't imagine even wanting to be a MOH for someone that reacted that way to my engagement.

I understand you're pissed, and I understand why... but you need to check your emotions because it's not all about you, today was supposed to be about her. The issues with your family's reaction is a different story, take that up with them.

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ITA!!!!!!!!!!!!

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ita

I got engaged a week after I turned 20, and I got married last month and I'm just 21. DH is 23, turning 24 in June. We're very young, and I know maturity levels are different, but just trying to bring your sister's point of view into this conversation... She may be young but when I was just 20 and got engaged, I was soooo scared that people were going to react badly and think I was stupid for getting engaged so young. Surprisingly, some friends asked us 'what's the rush?' and 'why so soon?' while our families were the ones who were amazing about it and were SO supportive.

My advice would be to try to be a little more supportive of your sister... She's newly engaged and when I was newly engaged like that at such a young age (which I still am lol), I was craving support. And I'm sure she's craving support too. Yes, she got it from the rest of your family but if my sister, who was my MOH, had reacted badly, I would have been heartbroken. I know you're upset but just think about how she can help plan your wedding and then once your wedding is over, you can help plan hers.

I agree with everyone that you shouldnt really be so annoyed over this. I can understand why you would be a little annoyed but not to the extent of not talking to her.
My younger sister got engaged 4 months after me and she was only with her FH for about 9 months. I was a bit annoyed since i was with my FH 7 years and she is the type to just do what I do if she thinks she will get the better of me. But it didnt work. I wished her the best of luck and asked her to be my Bridesmaid. Everyone in the family were annoyed with her but i told them to play along with her. They did and she has no date or anything set and she does not even mention it anymore.
A week later my older sister got engaged. She didnt know anything about it and had been with her FH a year. Everyone in the family including me was over the moon for her. She is getting married 5 months after me and i couldn't be happier for her. Just think about your own wedding and enjoy your time.

update - since so many people commented I thought it was only right to give you gals an update.

So it turns my family wasn't overly happy about the engagement like they were putting on. Don't get me wrong - they are still happy - but apologized for their lackluster response to my engagement vs. hers. My parents had a heart to heart talk with my sister and put their foot down to the tone that she will not be planning a wedding for another 2-3 years since that is when she will be completed with college.

As for her and I, I spoke with her to apologize about my reaction. As it turns out, her future sister in law responded just about the same way I did so there was drama like crazy. I told her when the time comes I would be able to help her plan her wedding should she want the help. She said her fiance really felt bad about the whole timing thing and did admit he has just been bitten by the 'wedding bug'. Not sure if this really came from him or her but either way the tension has slowly diminished.

So happy to hear you worked it out. This is an all too familiar scenario with guys. I have 4 girlfriends this happened to. FOUR. The guys of their sister / best friend or cousin felt the urge to propose within a week of their engagements. It stole the thunder away for the recently engaged couple. The guys just figured it would be great to have someone to talk wedding planning with to be excited with. Just try not to take it personally and treasure the fact your lil sis is getting married and you'll be able to bounce ideas off of each other.