So annoyed...Very long

DAVALJO2 Posted: Jul 21, 2005 11:53 AM

So annoyed...Very long

I have an aunt who i was really close with growing up. She is a hair stylist who does beautiful work. I always knew that she would be the one to do my hair on my wedding day. 3 years ago her house almost burned down, and she stayed with us for 2 years, along with her 4 children. During that time she was very rude to everyone, never helped with anything around the house. Ayway to make the long story short, i called her a few weeks ago to ask if she could do my hair for my wedding and she flat out said that she is taking a vacation around my wedding, so she won't be there. I felt like someone punched me in the heart,. This is someone who i've known my whole life and i feel so sad that she won't be at my wedding. My mom said i should let it go, but i really want her there. Even my cousins (her daughters) won't be there. Should i let this go, or talk to her. Even if we re not that close anymore, but this is MY WEDDING for crying out loud!!.

Mrs. dleeny Posted: Jul 21, 2005 12:02 PM

Re: So annoyed...Very long

oh no!

I'm sorry, that would upset me too!!!

I would probably have a talk with her.

did she not know when you're getting married?

tjs Posted: Jul 21, 2005 12:13 PM

Re: So annoyed...Very long

o i am so sorry!

bridegirl Posted: Jul 21, 2005 12:19 PM

Re: So annoyed...Very long

you should definetly tell her how you feel....sorry about your dissapointment!!

icequeen4700 Posted: Jul 21, 2005 12:26 PM

Re: So annoyed...Very long

i am having a similar problem. my dad passed away 3 years ago, and now his 2 brothers arent coming to the wedding. i feel like they are not going to be involved with us any more! its bad enough when friends dont come to your wedding, but family.....

bluesashbride Posted: Jul 21, 2005 02:44 PM

Re: So annoyed...Very long

i would not hold my tongue! she lived with you for TWO YEARS? and she's not going-SHE'S GOING on vacation! don't be so nice! i am sorry-i am guilty of being too nice but draw the line! honestly if it were me, and this is not advice, i would snub her. that would be IT for me if she didn't come. not doing your hair-not that bad-not coming but going on a vacation! terrible! and DO NOT shed a tear-she isn't. if she wanted to be there she would so therefore if she isn't coming do not let it ruin a second of you day or planning for that matter. just move on WITHOUT her! sorry! but that's just too much for me.

DAVALJO2 Posted: Jul 21, 2005 04:23 PM

Re: So annoyed...Very long

Posted by bluesashbride

i would not hold my tongue! she lived with you for TWO YEARS? and she's not going-SHE'S GOING on vacation! don't be so nice! i am sorry-i am guilty of being too nice but draw the line! honestly if it were me, and this is not advice, i would snub her. that would be IT for me if she didn't come. not doing your hair-not that bad-not coming but going on a vacation! terrible! and DO NOT shed a tear-she isn't. if she wanted to be there she would so therefore if she isn't coming do not let it ruin a second of you day or planning for that matter. just move on WITHOUT her! sorry! but that's just too much for me.

You are so right. She doesn't care so why should i? But it hurts like hell.

Love_my_Freddybear Posted: Jul 21, 2005 04:31 PM

Re: So annoyed...Very long

Let if go ..................... For now. Her vacation is most likely booked. She made a conscious decision to go on a vacation. You can not let this get the best of you right now. You need to stay focused on other things and can not get all emotional. Cause if you confront her now and she hurts your feelings................... You are going to be heartbroken even more.

DO wait until after yuour special day to confront her.
Tell her how hurt you were that she missed your day!!!!

But then again, you are in the situation so you'll know if you should sit this one out or not!!!!!

I'm thinking of you and your feelings and I know I wouldn't want to be heartbroken or rejected by someone I loved, right before my wedding day!

You definitley need to confront her at one point or another. But it's up to you when.......... I just feel like your Aunt knew it was your wedding and still booked a vacation so that's shows you right there where her mind is.

WedHead Posted: Jul 21, 2005 04:32 PM

Re: So annoyed...Very long

This is your mom's sister? Can your mom talk to her and try to figure out why she's doing this.

I think you should express your disappointment - maybe in a note. Maybe there's something going on that you're not aware of. If her travel it not planned yet, it seems ridiculous that she is intentionally going on vacation around your wedding.

DAVALJO2 Posted: Jul 21, 2005 05:38 PM

Re: So annoyed...Very long

Posted by WedHead

This is your mom's sister? Can your mom talk to her and try to figure out why she's doing this.

I think you should express your disappointment - maybe in a note. Maybe there's something going on that you're not aware of. If her travel it not planned yet, it seems ridiculous that she is intentionally going on vacation around your wedding.

Its my dad's sister. For some reason she seems to hate my family right now, and yes she is intntionally taking a vacation around my wedding so she can have a good excuse.

hmm8191 Posted: Jul 21, 2005 06:02 PM

Re: So annoyed...Very long

Its my dad's sister. For some reason she seems to hate my family right now, and yes she is intntionally taking a vacation around my wedding so she can have a good excuse.

I'm very sorry. I know this feeling all too well. The only thing I feel I need to say is do you REALLY want here there if she's making it so clear that she doesn't want to be. I know it's awful and I feel so bad for you but don't let someone else's petty stupidity ruin your most special day.

classylay-d Posted: Jul 21, 2005 06:03 PM

Re: So annoyed...Very long

I would also say to let it go. Obvioulsy she does not care about how you would feel. Why should you be upset and let someone else ruin one of the most important days of your life. I'm in a similar situation with a even closer person my own sister. We had a rough time the past couple of years but she is still my sister. She sent back the RSVP that she is declining. Yes, I'm hurt but I see it as one less person that I have to pay for. It may sound harsh but I know that the people who really care about me and love me will be there.

bluesashbride Posted: Jul 21, 2005 08:02 PM

Re: So annoyed...Very long

i am so sorry you are hurt and i'm not advocating confronting her and causing more drama, but just see it for what it is. you may not get that closure-but trying to just resolve it in you heart that she made a conscious choice to go on vacation and miss your wedding. i would just stop proactively making contact. and again, this is not advice, but when i saw her i would close to nothing-she just wouldn't be part of my life.

i am so sorry she hurt you but focus on the joy and be sad for her--she could be sharing in it but she's not-HER LOSS not yours.

Love_my_Freddybear Posted: Jul 22, 2005 11:07 PM

Re: So annoyed...Very long

Posted by classylay-d

I would also say to let it go. Obvioulsy she does not care about how you would feel. Why should you be upset and let someone else ruin one of the most important days of your life. I'm in a similar situation with a even closer person my own sister. We had a rough time the past couple of years but she is still my sister. She sent back the RSVP that she is declining. Yes, I'm hurt but I see it as one less person that I have to pay for. It may sound harsh but I know that the people who really care about me and love me will be there.

As harsh as it sounds.........I agree. I mean what more can you do? You are not gonna beat yourself in the head over it. It's your day and you gotta think about you. When the day is over, you can speak you mind and say what you gotta say. Come one they weren't born yesterday........they are intentionally saying no! So therefore just don't even stress it and keep it moving!!!!!!!!!