So bumbed!!!!!!!

I'm so annoyed at FH. From the start he hasn't wanted to be involved in any of the planning, which bothered me at first, but I've come to terms with it. But the least he could do is be a little excited about the planning process.
I just brought him to Flowerfield for the first time and he wasn't the least bit excited. It seemed like he didn't like it. All he did was talk about how much it cost. How could you not like Flowerfield?? Do you think he'll be more excited later in the planning process, or will he just ruin all my excitement throughout the whole planning?? Anyone else have a fiance who is a party pooper????

Sorry you are going through this. Maybe you should talk to him about it.
I have the opposite trouble. FH is so interested in everything sometimes I secretly wish I could make a decision without him.

My isnt a perty pooper, per say,, but he aint into the little details,, the hall & all that came after a few days,, they he got excited,,

make another trip there , that could help,

Sometimes I feel like this too. I guess what's hard for us as women to accept is that, for the most part, men just don't care about this stuff like we do. I know whenever I say something to Nick about stuff and he doesn't seem too interested, his response to me is 'I just want to be married already'. I mean he's excited about the party, but planning and all the little details isn't as important to him as it is to me. That's why he cannot fathom how I spend countless hours on this site.

It's hard to deal with at times, because you may feel, as I do, that 'why can't they be as interested as we are? Does he not think this wedding is important?' I guess what it comes down to is that they are just not built that way. But if it's something that is really eating at you, I say be honest with him and tell him how it's hurting you. He may just not realize how big of a deal it is to you.

And if he's still not overly interested, we are always here for you and will always be excited with you and for you!!

---

Posted by Mrs_C_in_'07

Sometimes I feel like this too. I guess what's hard for us as women to accept is that, for the most part, men just don't care about this stuff like we do. I know whenever I say something to Nick about stuff and he doesn't seem too interested, his response to me is 'I just want to be married already'. I mean he's excited about the party, but planning and all the little details isn't as important to him as it is to me. That's why he cannot fathom how I spend countless hours on this site.

It's hard to deal with at times, because you may feel, as I do, that 'why can't they be as interested as we are? Does he not think this wedding is important?' I guess what it comes down to is that they are just not built that way. But if it's something that is really eating at you, I say be honest with him and tell him how it's hurting you. He may just not realize how big of a deal it is to you.

And if he's still not overly interested, we are always here for you and will always be excited with you and for you!!

---

my fiance also says he just wants to be married already. I just wish he would be a little more excited especially since he knows how excited I was about Flowerfield.

My Fh always says the same thing ' i just want to be married already'

my fh goes up and down with his interest level - like he'll roll his eyes at me when I ask him to look at something online or do a little leg work for me - but then if I try to pick something out on my own he gets all opinionated and offended that I didn't ask!

He was actually a little annoyed when I went and started a registry without him - and all I did was pick out cookware, etc, I didn't even pick out anything decorative that he really has to actually look at!
of course, if I'd said to him 'hey, we have to go register' he would have grumbled and grumped and rolled his eyes at me.

Don't worry, most guys are just not into the planning - it doesn't mean they don't care, it just means that what's really important to them is the marriage, not the wedding. At least that's what my fh keeps saying - that the wedding is really more 'mine' and what he's really looking forward to is what comes after (and that night of course )

MEN!!!! i def think its normal!!! he'll come around once he sees how much it all means to you

---

Posted by MrsMichel07

My Fh always says the same thing ' i just want to be married already'

---

This sounds like mine too. . . I think they are ALL pretty much part of the same club

Definately talk to himabout it. Maybe ask him what he envisions for the wedding. It will work out. FH was not very involved right away and I dragged him to 10 halls in 2 days. After a while he came around caue he likes parties. everything else he doesnt care too much. Maybe see what he cares more about and let him help him plan that. Hope it works out

Your going about it in the wrong way.
You have to incorporate the FH early on, there are a bunch of ways to do so. But basically you cant get upset over it and give up, you have to keep at it. As for how to do so, your gonna laugh, but here goes.
Schedule the visits early, no more than four halls per day.
Make sure all the halls are semi close togather, no more than 30 minutes apart. Schedule lunch after the second hall, make sure FW consumes at least two alcoholic beverages during lunch. Picking up the check is always an added touch. After the last hall, be nice and do something he likes, let him digest the entire process, don't badger him about it right away, wait till the next morning and bring it up, again breakfast usually helps as does any hot food
You mentioned that he was not too excited about the hall, but did you sit with him and research halls before scheduling visits?

MG you crack me up

My FH has been semi-involved.
I do all the internet research, and narrow down choices from there. We go to meet vendors together, and make our decision together.

I basically chose the hall, photo, and video. He was dead-set on our DJ, and the percussionist and singer.

I just stress that I really do value his opinion, and i want him to be happy on OUR day. His response is always, 'if you're happy, I'm happy.'

hang in there - we're here for you!

---

Posted by MysteryGroom

Your going about it in the wrong way.
You have to incorporate the FH early on, there are a bunch of ways to do so. But basically you cant get upset over it and give up, you have to keep at it. As for how to do so, your gonna laugh, but here goes.
Schedule the visits early, no more than four halls per day.
Make sure all the halls are semi close togather, no more than 30 minutes apart. Schedule lunch after the second hall, make sure FW consumes at least two alcoholic beverages during lunch. Picking up the check is always an added touch. After the last hall, be nice and do something he likes, let him digest the entire process, don't badger him about it right away, wait till the next morning and bring it up, again breakfast usually helps as does any hot food
You mentioned that he was not too excited about the hall, but did you sit with him and research halls before scheduling visits?

---

Let me clarify: I visited halls all alone and never put him through the torture of dragging him all over long island. Once I choice my hall, all i asked that he see the one i have chosen for our wedding. I thought he might want to know where we are having our reception. Anyway, he wasn't impressed and complained about how much it was going to cost. I couldn't have made it any easier for him. This was the only thing i wanted to see. I plan to see DJs, photographers, florists etc.. alone since he doesn't want to come. All I wanted was for him to be excited about the hall i had chosen. is that too much??

My FH is somewhat the same way. However you should have had him go w/ you to the reception halls. It's a joint decision and maybe he feels that you took control immediatly and his opinion doesn't matter. He's looking at the big picture the way most men do...marriage, not a wedding. Even if you don't think he's interested you still need to discuss things w/him. Let him have choices too. I do it, and even though sometimes I don't feel that I am getting much feedback he is still involved.
I just think it's possible he felt slighted. It will all work out though, communicate w/him!

I think it is natural for a guy to not get too excited about a Wedding next year. Some just want to get it over and done with and don't realize how much energy us women put into this day.
I have the opposite problem, my FH is and wants to be involved in everything and I mean down to BM dresses. I can't make one decision without him or he will kill me.

I am sure as time goes on it will get better and the day of your wedding he is going to thank you for how beautiful & special you made your day.

---

Posted by babylon bride


Sorry you are going through this. Maybe you should talk to him about it.
I have the opposite trouble. FH is so interested in everything sometimes I secretly wish I could make a decision without him.

---

I share your issue!!! Maybe it's a Venetian Yacht Club thing. Mike is soo involved that it becomes annoying. I am now referring to him as my beautiful bride...lol

It's hard to find a balance that you will be happy with. It might just be your FH's personality and just might not be interested in things that can be thought of as 'girly.' As you do more and more planning and you get closer to your date I am sure he will become more proactive. Ask him what part interests him most. Maybe he would like to plan the honeymoon?? Choose the dj/band? Don't get too discouraged. But I do have to say he really should have at least visited the RH before you booked it.

You're right, how could you not like Flowefield? It's GORGEOUS!!!

Good luck sweetie, I'm sure in time he'll come around.