we are not close anymore and her reason for not getting back to me regarding the BM dresses is that her friends dad died Monday but she did read my email. Now i have a big freakin heart and i feel horrible about her friends dad BUT i've had enough and i feel horrible about kicking her out.
My mom thinks she will most likely be relieved too. the only tie i have left to her is that FH's cell phone is her 2nd line (don't ask). other than that i wouldn't even be associating with her anymore...we just went seperate ways.
needless to say, i asked someone tonight who deserves it more than anything and of course she accepted so it's not like i can say I have too many people
please help me out with this. i hate hurting people's feelings but i know it has to be done.
MrsDR2010
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Re: so how do you tastefully kick a bridesmaid out?
Aww..Alyssa I know what you mean. I have been trying to do that same. I'm sorry I am in the same boat so I really have no advice but wanted to send you
JenBill61210
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Re: so how do you tastefully kick a bridesmaid out?
i would sit down with her and explain that it seems like right now she has a lot of stuff going on in her life and its probably best she focuses on that versus taking on the task of what comes being in a bridal party, and you'd rather have someone in your BP that will be more dedicated but that you want whats best for her and appreciate her friendship, etc... i guess what im trying to say is spin it in a way where it looks like it will benefit her if she leaves your BP! good luck!
Alyssa79
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Re: so how do you tastefully kick a bridesmaid out?
thanks
pjankowski
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Re: so how do you tastefully kick a bridesmaid out?
Not an easy task.. but I would sit down and talk it out. I agree with your mom.. chances are she will be relieved
Yankees2323
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Re: so how do you tastefully kick a bridesmaid out?
im about to kick fh;'s cousin out!! lol alyssa when u do it let me know how
Clover23
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Re: so how do you tastefully kick a bridesmaid out?
i am terrible at being tasteful but i just wanted to offer my good luck hun
Noelsgirl
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Re: so how do you tastefully kick a bridesmaid out?
Listen to me Alyssa - kick her out! I feel like that about one of my BM and you should have people in your wedding that you are close too! If she cared about your wedding she would be more attentive! Just speak with her and tell her that your sorry but you guys have grown apart and you would really appreciate someone who is closer to you to help with everything and that your not getting that from her. SO you have decided to replace her. She might feel bad but at the end of the day, it's your wedding and its all about making YOU happy
JMO
cateydee
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Re: so how do you tastefully kick a bridesmaid out?
Posted by JenBill61210
i would sit down with her and explain that it seems like right now she has a lot of stuff going on in her life and its probably best she focuses on that versus taking on the task of what comes being in a bridal party, and you'd rather have someone in your BP that will be more dedicated but that you want whats best for her and appreciate her friendship, etc... i guess what im trying to say is spin it in a way where it looks like it will benefit her if she leaves your BP! good luck!
excellent advice- thats what i was going to say but jen said it better.
r u still going to ivite her to the wedding?
Alyssa79
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Re: so how do you tastefully kick a bridesmaid out?
Re: so how do you tastefully kick a bridesmaid out?
I would say something like this. 'I know there is alot involved with this wedding and appreciate your effort but if its overwhelming I wouldn't be hurt in any way if you'd rather come as a guest than being in the bridal party. I just want you to have a good time with us on our special day'
something like that?
Kimbalina
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Re: so how do you tastefully kick a bridesmaid out?
I had to do this and it was not something I ever thought I would have to do, or wanted to do.
We too were not close anymore (after being friends since almost grade school). She was not getting along with some of my other bridesmaids and made another wedding uncomfortable that we were all bridesmaids in. I did have a falling out with her (due to some wedding related events I was scheduling), and after talking to my other bridesmaids about it, who saw what stress this was all causing, they told me I was making the right descion. After some emailing back and forth about another situation that was causing an issue with her. I asked that in order to keep our friendship that she become a guest at the wedding and not a bridesmaid. We wound up not being friends after that. She did not come to anything that had to do with me or my wedding and I was not invited to participate in anything to do with her wedding this year. I have seen her once in the past year. Although it was sad... I have my friends and she has hers and that is it. I do not suggest by email. I wish I would have done it in person so that we could properly talk, but emotions were raging and that is the way the cookie crumbled. In the end I had my best friends in my wedding party, the way that it should have been.
It is a hard thing to do, and I wish I would have waited longer before choosing my BP and making sure that I was doing the right thing with my choices.
GOOD LUCK!
MarjorieFrank
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Re: so how do you tastefully kick a bridesmaid out?
I am kicking a BM out of my BP too... I made the decision 5 months ago and still haven't told her haha.... I am hoping she gets the hint because I haven't talked to her about my wedding in 5 months....
