So I decided to put an end to it

...the FSIL situation I mean. She emailed FH because I had put on my FB status that I thought if people had a problem with me they should let me know instead of b!tching behind my back...so she emailed him and told him how immature I am, blah blah blah...all this crap. I just had enough of hearing all this crap through 10 different channels and with FH's blessing I wrote her an email myself. Here it is...I think, considering everything that's happened I've done a good job, but of course I need my LIW girls approval haha (names changed to protect the innocent and the not-so-innocent):


FSIL,

I would like to eliminate the middle men here, since obviously there are issues to be resolved and its hard to do so when I am getting communication second and third hand.

I understand that you have many issues with me. With the most recent issue, I am truly sorry that I offended you. The status was written as a joke with FH's full knowledge and not as a knock against FSD. The joke was meant to calm my distress with the fact that FSD is an incredibly bright and smart child, but now finds herself in remedial reading due to a lack of effort. I love FSD as if she were my own daughter and I would never put her down. I may have a different parenting style than you or your mother would prefer, but everything I do is with FSD's best interests at heart.

As to other issues you may have with me, I'm unsure where they stem from. I have tried from our first meeting to be nice and engaging with you, but my intent and my actions might not have matched up and, if that is the case, I am sorry. Whether we like it or not, we will be in each others lives for the long haul. All I've ever wanted is to have a healthy, friendly relationship with you, and it is a source of constant distress to me that we find ourselves at such odds.

I understand if this letter is not received well, and I understand if you do not wish to write back. I hope that in the future our issues can be resolved and we can enjoy each other as sisters-in-law instead of as enemies.

Sincerely,
Ilana

considering how mean she has been to u since the very start, this is a very nice and considerate letter.
hopefully she will get the point.

i think it is a classy letter bravo to u

I agree with the prior posters that your letter is well written, but I'm not so sure sending it is in your best interest. If you do send it, she sounds like the type that will circulate it to others, along with her own spin to make you look defensive. If you want to hash this out with her, the phone may be a better option. You'd probably catch her off-guard before she can formulate a response.

Good luck. It's a tough situation.

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Posted by meg922

I agree with the prior posters that your letter is well written, but I'm not so sure sending it is in your best interest. If you do send it, she sounds like the type that will circulate it to others, along with her own spin to make you look defensive. If you want to hash this out with her, the phone may be a better option. You'd probably catch her off-guard before she can formulate a response.

Good luck. It's a tough situation.

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I would, but she's in Germany so its just about impossible to catch her on a phone. If she wants to stoop so low as to circulate the letter to other people then there's nothing I can do to repair our relationship and I'll just be civil when we have to be around each other (which, considering the Germany thing will hopefully not be that often).

I think its well written- i would go for it.

thats a perfect letter for the situation you are in....its to the point and no bs around it....

i applaud you for being able to keep it cool because if I were in your situation and I showed it to you girls, all you would see would be a bunch of ****************************************

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Posted by seawedding

I'd actually add to it that in the future, you'd appreciate it if she'd air her concerns to you and not everyone else.

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I agree that the letter is really good, especially considering the situation. But this point about adding to speak to you directly in the future is also a good point.

wow!!!

you go girl!!!

straight to the point without sounding like a b*tch!!!

very tasteful and well written. nice job! 2 thumbs up!
all you can do is sit back and wait now. it will suck but you did the very best you could possibly do so i wish you the very best in your future relationship with her..

This is a very fair and responsible letter and you'll most likely get something nasty back considering who you're writing to, but this is very well thought out and well written. She'll feel stupid and retaliate, but it's a really good email regardless.

eff her man!

I think is perfect.
Well written and to the point!