So I sent him an email...UPDATED

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Posted by DnellD809

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by nmagel

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Posted by DnellD809

just telling him how much I love him and that I really think it can work.

Do you think that's too desperate???

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don't email him for a little while. Try to keep busy. Let him wonder what you are doing. Is he coming back anytime soon??

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Yup its the best thing to do...see sometimes people only look at it from their side, oh i get to be on my own for a while and do my own thing, but forget oh wait that means the other person gets to do the same...While you're calling him or emailing himn he knows you are too hurt to focus on your own life now, so he wont worry...Stop calling, emailing, IM'ing or anything and let him wonder about where you are and what you're doing...Yes this is alot easier said than done, I think most of us can say that we've been through things like this in the past and when it was told to us it was extremely hard to do and yes even broke down and gave in at times. BUT when we have done it, it was the best thing and thats when things turned around.

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That's the worst part! I KNOW that I should just leave it be and I can't. I mean after this I will for sure but AHH I don't know what to do with myself

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I know how you feel. When I think of the possibility of losing FH, I know I would go psycho.

I don't think it's desperate. You're reminding him that you are there and that you still love him.

Maybe you can take this opportunity to step back and take an objective look at your relationship (easier said than done). Maybe by doing that it will give you time to see what needs work and what you really want out it. It will also keep your mind occupied and give him the space he seems to want to need.

Hang in there (again, easier said than done).

ETA: I think Denise hit the nail on the head with her advice about leaving him be for a little while after the e-mail. Make him wonder what you're up to and why you're not calling him and e-mailing him at every second.

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Posted by DnellD809

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by nmagel

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Posted by DnellD809

just telling him how much I love him and that I really think it can work.

Do you think that's too desperate???

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don't email him for a little while. Try to keep busy. Let him wonder what you are doing. Is he coming back anytime soon??

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Yup its the best thing to do...see sometimes people only look at it from their side, oh i get to be on my own for a while and do my own thing, but forget oh wait that means the other person gets to do the same...While you're calling him or emailing himn he knows you are too hurt to focus on your own life now, so he wont worry...Stop calling, emailing, IM'ing or anything and let him wonder about where you are and what you're doing...Yes this is alot easier said than done, I think most of us can say that we've been through things like this in the past and when it was told to us it was extremely hard to do and yes even broke down and gave in at times. BUT when we have done it, it was the best thing and thats when things turned around.

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That's the worst part! I KNOW that I should just leave it be and I can't. I mean after this I will for sure but AHH I don't know what to do with myself

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Listen dont feel bad for what you do and dont do, you're only doing what your heart tells you...Like i said before many of us were told the same thing in past relationships but went against the advice given to us...Even now when i give friends or anybody advice, ill tell them what would be the ideal thing to do but i also understand the other side and i wont sit there and talk about how a person could do something when they should be doing the opposite bc i dont forget things ive been through. Its alot easier to give advice than to deal with the pain the person is going through. I know its a thing that is constantly on your mind and you have so much to say and want to tell him and you wanna hear exactly what is going through his head.

No matter what you do, nobody will judge you, you did what you thought was best and went with your instinct. Like i said before its easier said than done. There were times i knew what the best thing to do was and knew the results i would get out of it but i couldn't help myself, were all just human and its only normal

You love him and want to make it work, so it's only natural to contact him to tell him how you feel.

I do think, however, that you shouldn't e-mail him anymore. You already did it, so the ball is in his court. At the same time, if you continue to do so he might feel cornered and he may use your actions to justify his feelings and turn it against you.

It's a tough situation and judging from pictures, your FH looks like a military guy which would make it even tougher since their lifestyles are so different and many have a tendency to be a bit more cautious and closed-off. Hang in there though

all these girls are giving you such great advice..i wish there were something more i could add, but i just agree with all of them and am sending you lots of

hun... there are no right or wrong answers to this.

just follow your heart and do what you think needs to be done.

if you think you need to express to him how you are feeling.. then do so...

if you think that you should wait him out now.. then do so...

its hard for us to give you a solution, or to help guide you in the right direction, because we dont know him... even when we know people this task is complicated.

like i said go with your heart...

what will be, will be...

best of luck.. i feel so sorry for you and I truly hope that things work out for you!

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Posted by DnellD809

just telling him how much I love him and that I really think it can work.

Do you think that's too desperate???

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not desperate at all. The facts are: you love him lots, you havent done anything to upset him or push him away, you were asked to marry him...

SO...when something like this happens and whether it was for a stupid fling or he just needs his space, you have a right to know why this is happening and how you feel that you think it will work.

do not second guess urself but i would leave it at that. Dont call or write again. Funny thing...if he doesnt call or try to get you back, you are so much better off with out him even though you may not think so right now. You should feel if he is going to throw love away that easily, he isn't worth your love at all.

we are here for you.

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Posted by wifey08

has he read it yet????? i hope he reads it and realizes!! if not i wouldnt attempt to talk to him easier said than done you need to get out of the house sitting home it will kill you

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No, he hasn't read it yet! I just sent it like an hour ago...so I hope he reads it soon. I definitely won't try to contact him after that if he doesn't...I will just feel better knowing he read EXACTLY how I feel. It's just soooo hard over the phone to express things and I really put ALL of my heart into the letter

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Posted by DnellD809

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Posted by wifey08

has he read it yet????? i hope he reads it and realizes!! if not i wouldnt attempt to talk to him easier said than done you need to get out of the house sitting home it will kill you

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No, he hasn't read it yet! I just sent it like an hour ago...so I hope he reads it soon. I definitely won't try to contact him after that if he doesn't...I will just feel better knowing he read EXACTLY how I feel. It's just soooo hard over the phone to express things and I really put ALL of my heart into the letter

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im so sorry i know what you mean over the phone i am much better expressing my feelings in writing so i hope it really makes him think after reading it if not hate to say it but hes an a$$ for screwin things up and not worth your time you can do so much better with someone who TRULY loves and appreciates you

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Posted by DnellD809

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Posted by wifey08

has he read it yet????? i hope he reads it and realizes!! if not i wouldnt attempt to talk to him easier said than done you need to get out of the house sitting home it will kill you

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No, he hasn't read it yet! I just sent it like an hour ago...so I hope he reads it soon. I definitely won't try to contact him after that if he doesn't...I will just feel better knowing he read EXACTLY how I feel. It's just soooo hard over the phone to express things and I really put ALL of my heart into the letter

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i think you did good. hope it all works out for you in the end.

I know how you feel, totally consumed by the whole thing, especially because it seemed to have come out of left field. The girls are right - you have left it to him, and now you need to focus on you... lean on your friends and family, take advantage of your support network. You're a great girl, and if he doesn't realize it, his loss. He never knew how good he had it!

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Posted by GinaBambina88

Based on my experience, I think you should just leave him alone for a bit...right now, he feels like he has you...he knows that if he were to change his mind and ask to be together again, you'd accept that...so he feels comfortable taking his sweet time living his life without you...I think, if you keep him on his toes and actually give him time to wonder about you and why you haven't contacted him, he'll probably start worrying that he's losing you and try to reconnect...but like the other brides said, everyone's sitiuation is different...

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i agree 100%...they LOVE the chase so make him realize what its like WITHOUT you and that you DONT need him

I don't mean to be a downer but you should just let him be for a while. He knows you love him and want things to work. I know when since I have been in Korea, if I tell my husband I love him too many times he gets a little annoyed. He tells me he knows I love him but why do I have to say it all the time. Men are so different than women. Can get very irratating

Everyone have given you shuch great advice. There is not much more to add. Just try to hang in there and keep yourself busy so your not thinking of him all the time. I know it is a hard thing to do.