SO INCREDIBLY UPSET!!!

---

Posted by bas23

I hear what you are all saying but I guess and I guess I know RATIONALLY that its not something she did on purpose but it doesnt make me any less upset. I'm very upset about the whole thing and it sort of puts a damper on one of hte most important days of my life..... I guess if it were me, I would take some pain meds and make my way to the wedding....and I'm not just saying that--- I would do anythign and everything I could if I was in a wedding party to be there....especially three days before the wedding!!! and yes, I did offer for her to sit, stand, whatever she would need to be able to be there....

---

Have you ever had a really bad back injury? They're immobilizing. Like, can't stand up, can't walk,c an't crawl anywhere, can barely sit up. It's a miserable existence. I'm sure she feels horrible already, physically and about not being able to be there, so if she's your friend, don't make it worse by being mad.

---

Posted by bas23

I hear what you are all saying but I guess and I guess I know RATIONALLY that its not something she did on purpose but it doesnt make me any less upset. I'm very upset about the whole thing and it sort of puts a damper on one of hte most important days of my life..... I guess if it were me, I would take some pain meds and make my way to the wedding....and I'm not just saying that--- I would do anythign and everything I could if I was in a wedding party to be there....especially three days before the wedding!!! and yes, I did offer for her to sit, stand, whatever she would need to be able to be there....

---

WOW! I seriously hope you never have a serious back problem. I do and it is NOT fun and not something that you can always just take pain meds for, maybe she cant sit or stand. Take a step back and think about what is really important. Our weddings are a day out of our life, frienships and long term relationships with people can last a lifetime

---

Posted by bas23

One of my bridesmaids for my this SATURDAY wedding just cancelled on me!!!!! I'm beyond furious and upset. How could she do that? She hurt her back, which I get, but she is ruining my wedding day! This is my oldest friend and she said she 'hopes this doesnt end our friendship'-- i told her it wouldnt but I think it really might -- I think based on the way I feel right now, I'm DONE.

---

I think you should end the friendship. Can you imagine suffering a back injury and having to endure a petty, self-centered, friend like you? Do the poor girl a favor.

While I think everyone is entitled to their own opinions and feelings, I think that saying a bridesmaid missing is going to ruin your wedding day is just a little over the top.

To be honest, looking back at my wedding day and don't get me wrong I love ALL of our family and friends but the two most important people that day were ME and my DH. That day was so special and so magical to US.

So while I can understand you are upset b/c it isn't what you had planned to not have her there, try to really concentrate on the love between you and Dh and why you are having the ceremony, the dresses, flowers, lighting, music, etc- all of that is to celebrate you and your FH. Don't worry about bridesmaids. Its not worth it, you will look back and regret that you were sad or it ruined your day in the future.

I can't even add anything to this because it's already been said.

I imagine that if I were to be in any friend's wedding and had to drop out for a legitimate medical condition, my friend would be more than understanding. Guess I just know how to pick friends ... and I feel sorry for yours.

---

Posted by CrazyLove11

OMG!!!! I feel terrible for you. It would destry me as well. But think about your friend as well - Im sure it wasn't on purpose. These things happen.

---

I see you edited your response.

---

Posted by eternitygroom

---

Posted by bas23

One of my bridesmaids for my this SATURDAY wedding just cancelled on me!!!!! I'm beyond furious and upset. How could she do that? She hurt her back, which I get, but she is ruining my wedding day! This is my oldest friend and she said she 'hopes this doesnt end our friendship'-- i told her it wouldnt but I think it really might -- I think based on the way I feel right now, I'm DONE.

---

I think you should end the friendship. Can you imagine suffering a back injury and having to endure a petty, self-centered, friend like you? Do the poor girl a favor.

---

WIN

---

Posted by DMLHeartsCRM

---

Posted by allornil

---

Posted by Danielle41209

if you're going to end a friendship because she legitimately hurt her back, then maybe you shouldn't have been friends to begin with. A back injury is serious and potentially life threatening. Did you ever think to call her and 1st: see how she's doing and 2nd: get her a wheelchair so she can still be a part of the day???

Think before you act because the way you're portraying yourself right now is a self centered bridezilla. I know your wedding is coming up but be reasonable...

Granted if there is more to this than what you wrote, then it's a different story...


just my 2 cents...

---

Sorry but I agree with you.

---

I agree with this too.

---

I agree. I am sure she did not hurt her back on purpose just to ruin your wedding day.

---

Posted by mrsdraskin2009

---

Posted by eternitygroom

I think you should end the friendship. Can you imagine suffering a back injury and having to endure a petty, self-centered, friend like you? Do the poor girl a favor.

---

WIN

---

*bows*

To put this in perspective, 2 of my closest and oldest friends, who were supposed to be groomsmen and live in other parts of the country, had to back out due to financial concerns. Did I give them crap for it? No, because it wasn't their fault, and I couldn't afford to fly them in myself, otherwise you can be damn sure I would have. Being a good friend means you take their situations into consideration, and understand that sh--stuff happens that we have little-to-no control over. Torching a friendship over a single incident of bad luck is just plain pathetic.

If, however, OP (original poster) thinks her friend is lying, that's another issue entirely, but, seeing as she didn't indicate such, I'll assume she wasn't.

I just read this and I have to say I understand how the OP feels. It has to be really upsetting to get this news, especially so close to your big day!

And..I know it sucks to get that type of feedback when you came on here to vent and get some type of support. (I know the feeling bc I posted something similar to your post about my sister). And girls..why attack her? Honestly??

I think you should just take a deep breath and understand that nothing can ruin your day! I know its tough right now, but really try to see what your friend is going through and then see how you feel. Sorry you are dealing with all of this!

---

Posted by elp6421

I just read this and I have to say I understand how the OP feels. It has to be really upsetting to get this news, especially so close to your big day!

And..I know it sucks to get that type of feedback when you came on here to vent and get some type of support. (I know the feeling bc I posted something similar to your post about my sister). And girls..why attack her? Honestly??

I think you should just take a deep breath and understand that nothing can ruin your day! I know its tough right now, but really try to see what your friend is going through and then see how you feel. Sorry you are dealing with all of this!

---

Well said!!!! This poor girl just came on the board to vent and everyone attcked her! Maybe i'm just jadded cause i see a chart in the ER that says 'back pain' and i wanna throw it out the window because 9 times out of 10 its BS. Of course if her BM herniated a disk or something serious then its unavoidable and she will prob have to miss the wedding (which sucks!), but if its just a muscle strain....take some robaxin and sit in the front row for 15-30 min! If the BM is seriously one of her oldest and dearest friends then she should be there, unless she is in the hospital....maybe not walk down he aisle, but at least be there for moral support!

Just my 2 cents

---

Posted by elp6421

I just read this and I have to say I understand how the OP feels. It has to be really upsetting to get this news, especially so close to your big day!

And..I know it sucks to get that type of feedback when you came on here to vent and get some type of support. (I know the feeling bc I posted something similar to your post about my sister). And girls..why attack her? Honestly??

I think you should just take a deep breath and understand that nothing can ruin your day! I know its tough right now, but really try to see what your friend is going through and then see how you feel. Sorry you are dealing with all of this!

---

why would she expect support from strangers when she cant even support someone who is her friend...

---

Posted by BellaRegina

---

Posted by elp6421

I just read this and I have to say I understand how the OP feels. It has to be really upsetting to get this news, especially so close to your big day!

And..I know it sucks to get that type of feedback when you came on here to vent and get some type of support. (I know the feeling bc I posted something similar to your post about my sister). And girls..why attack her? Honestly??

I think you should just take a deep breath and understand that nothing can ruin your day! I know its tough right now, but really try to see what your friend is going through and then see how you feel. Sorry you are dealing with all of this!

---

Well said!!!! This poor girl just came on the board to vent and everyone attcked her! Maybe i'm just jadded cause i see a chart in the ER that says 'back pain' and i wanna throw it out the window because 9 times out of 10 its BS. Of course if her BM herniated a disk or something serious then its unavoidable and she will prob have to miss the wedding (which sucks!), but if its just a muscle strain....take some robaxin and sit in the front row for 15-30 min! If the BM is seriously one of her oldest and dearest friends then she should be there, unless she is in the hospital....maybe not walk down he aisle, but at least be there for moral support!

Just my 2 cents

---

Yeah, you do sound pretty 'jadded' to me.

So if someone can barely stand up, you expect them to drug themselves up so that they can be there for moral support, which would cause them an immense amount of pain? That's pretty selfish. I hope you never have to endure the kind of back pain that would force someone to miss a dear friend's wedding.

I understand the OP is upset. I would have been too. But to end a friendship because of a legitimate medical problem is preposterous.

Separate from the issue of whether the BM can make it because of the degree of pain she is in...NO BRIDE should let something like this ruin her day.

I think in general a lot of brides get consumed with the unimportant things and forget what a wedding is all about. I mean really, are you marrying your bridesmaid? Sure, it sucks...but your husband will still be there, no?

If HE said 'sorry babe, my back hurts...don't think I'll be able to make it today,' then I think maybe you could justifiably say that your day would be ruined.

---

Posted by julesrbf

---

Posted by BellaRegina

---

Posted by elp6421

I just read this and I have to say I understand how the OP feels. It has to be really upsetting to get this news, especially so close to your big day!

And..I know it sucks to get that type of feedback when you came on here to vent and get some type of support. (I know the feeling bc I posted something similar to your post about my sister). And girls..why attack her? Honestly??

I think you should just take a deep breath and understand that nothing can ruin your day! I know its tough right now, but really try to see what your friend is going through and then see how you feel. Sorry you are dealing with all of this!

---

Well said!!!! This poor girl just came on the board to vent and everyone attcked her! Maybe i'm just jadded cause i see a chart in the ER that says 'back pain' and i wanna throw it out the window because 9 times out of 10 its BS. Of course if her BM herniated a disk or something serious then its unavoidable and she will prob have to miss the wedding (which sucks!), but if its just a muscle strain....take some robaxin and sit in the front row for 15-30 min! If the BM is seriously one of her oldest and dearest friends then she should be there, unless she is in the hospital....maybe not walk down he aisle, but at least be there for moral support!

Just my 2 cents

---

Yeah, you do sound pretty 'jadded' to me.

So if someone can barely stand up, you expect them to drug themselves up so that they can be there for moral support, which would cause them an immense amount of pain? That's pretty selfish. I hope you never have to endure the kind of back pain that would force someone to miss a dear friend's wedding.

I understand the OP is upset. I would have been too. But to end a friendship because of a legitimate medical problem is preposterous.

---

How do we know that the friend cannot stand or walk? I have patients that stroll into the ER unassisted, on their cell phone, bending in each and every direction....and when i ask whats wrong....'Oh Doc my back is KILLLING me, can I have percocet?'.
And like i said, if she has a legitamate medical problem....of course there is nothing that can be done.....but i've seen one too many people say they are sick and they are probably healthier than most.

Again, just my 2 cents

---

Posted by BellaRegina

---

Posted by julesrbf

---

Posted by BellaRegina

---

Posted by elp6421

I just read this and I have to say I understand how the OP feels. It has to be really upsetting to get this news, especially so close to your big day!

And..I know it sucks to get that type of feedback when you came on here to vent and get some type of support. (I know the feeling bc I posted something similar to your post about my sister). And girls..why attack her? Honestly??

I think you should just take a deep breath and understand that nothing can ruin your day! I know its tough right now, but really try to see what your friend is going through and then see how you feel. Sorry you are dealing with all of this!

---

Well said!!!! This poor girl just came on the board to vent and everyone attcked her! Maybe i'm just jadded cause i see a chart in the ER that says 'back pain' and i wanna throw it out the window because 9 times out of 10 its BS. Of course if her BM herniated a disk or something serious then its unavoidable and she will prob have to miss the wedding (which sucks!), but if its just a muscle strain....take some robaxin and sit in the front row for 15-30 min! If the BM is seriously one of her oldest and dearest friends then she should be there, unless she is in the hospital....maybe not walk down he aisle, but at least be there for moral support!

Just my 2 cents

---

Yeah, you do sound pretty 'jadded' to me.

So if someone can barely stand up, you expect them to drug themselves up so that they can be there for moral support, which would cause them an immense amount of pain? That's pretty selfish. I hope you never have to endure the kind of back pain that would force someone to miss a dear friend's wedding.

I understand the OP is upset. I would have been too. But to end a friendship because of a legitimate medical problem is preposterous.

---

How do we know that the friend cannot stand or walk? I have patients that stroll into the ER unassisted, on their cell phone, bending in each and every direction....and when i ask whats wrong....'Oh Doc my back is KILLLING me, can I have percocet?'.
And like i said, if she has a legitamate medical problem....of course there is nothing that can be done.....but i've seen one too many people say they are sick and they are probably healthier than most.

Again, just my 2 cents

---

She said she doesnt think shes faking it...

---

Posted by BellaRegina

I would seriously hope the BM wasnt faking it, cause that is a perfect reason to end a friendship!

---

Thats exactly our point... she said shes not faking it... regardless, one BM not there is not going to ruin anyones day