I am sure that she wouldn't want to not be in it if she wasnt really in pain. after you spend so much money being in a wedding you don't just cancel a few days befor for nothing.
mp1082
Posted:
Member since
Re: SO INCREDIBLY UPSET!!!
I guess it's all been said already, but a back injury can be completely incapacitating. I've been bed ridden from my back problems before and I'm sure your friend is not doing this to hurt you. Have you offered to let her wear flats and sit through the ceremony? Is she able to come to the wedding at all?
If not, I'm sure you have another friend who would be happy to stand in for her. You can't let this ruin your day. Remember what your wedding is all about!
kris15198
Posted:
Member since
Re: SO INCREDIBLY UPSET!!!
Posted by FutureMrsDe
I am sure that she wouldn't want to not be in it if she wasnt really in pain. after you spend so much money being in a wedding you don't just cancel a few days befor for nothing.
ITA
April_Luv
Posted:
Member since
Re: SO INCREDIBLY UPSET!!!
Wait a min! Are you saying you would rather your friend be there even if she was in excrutiating pain? do you know what your pics would look like if she was there and in pain? Back pain is a serious thing! I suffer with Scoliosis and let me tell you its no picnic. Seriously-if she is not there do you REALLY think people would know? Lets be for real.
FuTuRe MrS MaZz
Posted:
Member since
Re: SO INCREDIBLY UPSET!!!
If she is legitimately hurt, you really cant be upset... I'd look at you as being the more inconsiderate friend for not understanding (to be honest)... If you're more worried about things being uneven and now having to switch around bm's and gm's... dont sweat it... everything always works out... no one notices whats 'wrong' ... i personally had to rearrange my whole procession, etc when i kicked out a bm a week before my wedding... and it all still worked out and i had a beautiful wedding... and so will you... with or without her in it
JandM2010
Posted:
Member since
Re: SO INCREDIBLY UPSET!!!
I was a bridesmaid in my best friends wedding but had to drop out 4 days before because I ended up in ICU for a stroke and I wouldn't be out of the hospital and I couldn't fly either. My friend was totally understanding and i felt horrible but friendships shouldn't end because of this. My friendship didn't end and she will be standing next to me in 17 days when I get married.
I think you really need to sit and talk with her.
Tromsugar2b
Posted:
Member since
Re: SO INCREDIBLY UPSET!!!
speaking as a sane person who is not getting married in a few days...I have to say I would absolutely not be at my friends wedding if I was in so much pain that I even needed to take pain meds, and anyone whos ever taken pain meds knows that while it takes away the pain in that area it adds pain and dizziness to many others, its not comfortable and you definitely don't want to be someone people are counting on when your in this much pain. You don't sound as if you want her at the wedding, just whatever convenience she provides by being in your bp, if I were you i'd invite her to come as a guest, where she could stay for as little as she likes, to be comfortable, I hope none of my bms get injured but I can't say I'd be mad at them! I may be mad it happened, i may be thinking my day may be ruined, but its not their fault. Seriously pain meds are not fun.
XoxoFIOLAoxoX
Posted:
Member since
Re: SO INCREDIBLY UPSET!!!
If this is really the case, you can't be mad. Move on and your day will be perfect. You can't focus on the negative. Good luck and cheers!
adelya21
Posted:
Member since
Re: SO INCREDIBLY UPSET!!!
wow i have to agree with the ladies. as someone who has had a horrible lower back injury which made me cry in pain when I walked i cnt blame the girl. I wouldnt be mad at one of my BM's if they really had a bad injury. God forbid she walks or even sits the wrong way. she could hurt her herself even more.
plus does a wedding REALLY get ruined bec of one missing BM? i mean cmn!!!!!!!! the wedding is still going to be the same IMO.
Have their been issues in the friendship that makes u cast doubt on the fact that shes really hurt if not? you have no excuse sorry.
Never2Part
Posted:
Member since
Re: SO INCREDIBLY UPSET!!!
Are you seriously complaining about a friend who has a medical complaint right now?
win01
Posted:
Member since
Re: SO INCREDIBLY UPSET!!!
I am sorry you are hurt..It will not ruin your day to have one less person standing up for you...If she is truly a very good friend I would give her the benefit of the doubt. My husband had a horrible back and once he had to lay of the floor for a full day before I could even get him up to take him to the emergency room...He couldn't sit at all.. He would be fine, and then out of the blue he would be in pain. I only mention this as he NEVER complained, even when he was dying of cancer about the pain, but when his back gave him trouble he did...the nerves back there can be debiliating. Just wish her well, and you forget it, and concentrate on having a great day...One less person will not matter... Enjoy your day.
mybabylovesmoi
Posted:
Member since
Re: SO INCREDIBLY UPSET!!!
I really hope you wrote this post in a brief laspe in judgement/sanity. How could you possibly be angry with her for 'ruining your wedding day' when she has a medical condition?
That is a little dramatic. Upset, yes, I can understand, being mad and 'DONE' with her is pretty harsh and uncalled for.
Just take a deep breath and think rationally. I'm sure she's put money and time in for a dress, etc up until now. It is hard to believe she would fake this and bail at the last minute.
If FH didn't show, YES, that would ruin the day. A BM is not a big deal, I'm sorry.
MrsDtoB
Posted:
Member since
Re: SO INCREDIBLY UPSET!!!
are you serious? thats all I have to say...
cleokizzy
Posted:
Member since
Re: SO INCREDIBLY UPSET!!!
Posted by mybabylovesmoi
I really hope you wrote this post in a brief laspe in judgement/sanity. How could you possibly be angry with her for 'ruining your wedding day' when she has a medical condition?
That is a little dramatic. Upset, yes, I can understand, being mad and 'DONE' with her is pretty harsh and uncalled for.
Just take a deep breath and think rationally. I'm sure she's put money and time in for a dress, etc up until now. It is hard to believe she would fake this and bail at the last minute.
If FH didn't show, YES, that would ruin the day. A BM is not a big deal, I'm sorry.
ITA.
your bein too dramatic over this. your first reaction should ideally be about concern over your friends well-being, NOT because of the fact that your entourage might be incomplete.
Future Mrs H
Posted:
Member since
Re: SO INCREDIBLY UPSET!!!
Posted by bas23
I hear what you are all saying but I guess and I guess I know RATIONALLY that its not something she did on purpose but it doesnt make me any less upset. I'm very upset about the whole thing and it sort of puts a damper on one of hte most important days of my life..... I guess if it were me, I would take some pain meds and make my way to the wedding....and I'm not just saying that--- I would do anythign and everything I could if I was in a wedding party to be there....especially three days before the wedding!!! and yes, I did offer for her to sit, stand, whatever she would need to be able to be there....
As someone who has back problems sometimes you cant just take pain meds and make your way to the wedding. 2 weeks ago I hurt my back and was in so much pain that NO PAIN MEDS helped. All it did was make me pass out. Only now is my back feeling better. Do you want her to be in pain- and a zombie at your wedding? I think that would put more of a damper on your wedding then her not being there. I understand you being upset but give the girl a break. Its not like she did it on purpose.
JMO
futurestevens
Posted:
Member since
Re: SO INCREDIBLY UPSET!!!
Posted by mybabylovesmoi
I really hope you wrote this post in a brief laspe in judgement/sanity. How could you possibly be angry with her for 'ruining your wedding day' when she has a medical condition?
That is a little dramatic. Upset, yes, I can understand, being mad and 'DONE' with her is pretty harsh and uncalled for.
Just take a deep breath and think rationally. I'm sure she's put money and time in for a dress, etc up until now. It is hard to believe she would fake this and bail at the last minute.
If FH didn't show, YES, that would ruin the day. A BM is not a big deal, I'm sorry.
ITA.
you sound pretty heartless right now. your wedding may be the most important thing in your own world right now, but it's not the most important thing in everyone else's. your friend's health comes first. if you were a true friend you would realize that.
bride2be1012
Posted:
Member since
Re: SO INCREDIBLY UPSET!!!
If she is genuinely in severe pain than you really have to no reason to be angry. Disappointed sure but not angry. Is there more to the story though? Do you think she is faking or exaggerating her injuries?
DWKSwed
Posted:
Member since
Re: SO INCREDIBLY UPSET!!!
Posted by bride2be1012
If she is genuinely in severe pain than you really have to no reason to be angry. Disappointed sure but not angry. Is there more to the story though? Do you think she is faking or exaggerating her injuries?
This was going to be my point. And I don't see any reason to be angry with her unless you think she's not being honest, or that perhaps she's bowing out now while you think she will be okay by the wedding or something.
Just wanted to point something out to you - 'just showing up' is not all that's expected of her as a bridesmaids. How is she going to sit still to get hair and make-up done, and then stand for however long is necessary for the ceremony and pictures? That's a lot of stress for the back, and even if she's feeling a little better that could exacerbate her pain. Chill out - if I got a call like this from one of my bridesmaids - and I'm getting married next week - I would be disappointed but would not react like this.
CrazyLove11
Posted:
Member since
Re: SO INCREDIBLY UPSET!!!
OMG!!!! I feel terrible for you. It would destry me as well. But think about your friend as well - Im sure it wasn't on purpose. These things happen.
SoonToBeMrsFox
Posted:
Member since
Re: SO INCREDIBLY UPSET!!!
i understand you're upset, but i really don't think you're being fair. why would one of your bridesmaids, who i'm sure has helped plan your wedding and shower, bought a dress and has been by your side, suddenly 'fake' an injury and bail on you at the last second? it doesn't make any sense. i'm sure the last thing she was thinking was hmm, i wonder how i can hurt myself so i don't have to be in the wedding. things happen. i'm sure she is just as upset as you are that she can't be there. maybe instead of thinking that she's ruining your big day, you should think that it's really sad that she can't be there to share in it with you.
