FH mom is a pathological LIAR.... l i a r !!! His mother tells him ONE thing and does another...she acts as the VICTIM infront of him...and than is soo cunning kniving... my parents and my inlaws got in to a huge argument, FH mom said we have all this extended family that now wants to come? what do u want us to leave our family out?? etc... but hello where were you before when we were making our guest lists??? ... she never mentioned anything and to top it all off..50 extra ppl...
his parents were paying half , mine were paying half... my parents wouldve paid alll...but they offered... and NOW she said forget it, shes not paying anything anymore... 47 days ... were am i going to find money to cover the costs... i have a 350 person wedding.... i went all out... since me n FH were not paying we splurged on rings, honeymoon, flowers, the lil things... and now his parents are backing out??? he is so upset... but than he doesnt do or say enough at the end of the day it is his mother , who raised him, took care of him im sick of arguing and fighting...i DO LOVE FH very much... been with him for 4.5 years..and never had this drama...since we got engaged things have been haywire and they all orginate because the adults/parents cant get along... and out of all honesty if my MOM, my PARENTS were WRONG..i would tell them...i would fight with them....but theyre NOT...how can u add 50 ppl and say no we dont wana pay for it the last minute?? and insult my parents and say well it was ur job to pay for the wedding anyways...we offered only as a favor
please pray for me... i was just so excited last week...i went to buy my wedding day jewelry...finalized things with my hall.... and i do love the man im marrying...but like my mother always said... You dont only marry the guy, you Marry the family... shouldve listened
luvabul
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yes she agreed to pay for her own guest by saying.... 'fine ill pay, as a favor to you...but just realize its your job' .... duh my parents were like ***!! they were offended... if it came down to it they CAN pay for it...but its a matter of principle, etiquette, and courtesy... 47 days before u dont add 50 guests...
and fine she'll take care of the cost...but she said she wont pay for the extra invites, centerpieces, larger cake etc, menus,
my parents will have to do all of that or me and FH... it just makes no sense
now FH got in to an argument with his mom...and hes upset ...
GOD help us
kitty1224
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I am so sorry, hope it works out
FlowerBride
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i am so sorry i would flip if ANYONE my mom or his mom tried to add 50 people! do you even have enough invitations for that?? you have every right to be angry and she def has no right to say that its your family's responsibility to cover guests that she added at the last minute!! OMG this is getting ME heated so i can imagine how you must feel.. just be faithful that it will somehow work itself out
soontobemrsjp
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YOU KNOW WHAT ,YOU NEED TO PUT YOUR FMIL IN HER PLACE. EITHER SHE PAYS THE ENTIRE ADDED COSTS FOR 50 PPL OR THEY DO NOT GET ADDED TO THE WEDDING. DO NOT LET HER CONTROL YOUR PARENTS' FINANCIAL SITUATION. REGARDLESS IF YOUR PARENTS CAN SWING THE EXTRA MONEY, ITS THE PRINCIPAL BEHIND IT. THESE 50 PPL MUST NOT BE THAT SIGNIFICANT THAT THEY WERE NOT INCLUDED IN ORIGINAL GUEST LIST NE WAY. IT'S YOUR WEDDING NOT HERS!
dancerandchef
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We are so sorry to hear this. Our thoughts and prayers are with you.
~dancer and chef~
lilqtpie2181
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ihope they can all just be ADULTS and work things out for the sake of their childrens happiness
luvabul
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theyre not significant, their not GOOD friends their acquaintances...ppl she sees at social occasions aka other weddings, social circles etc...
denadewolf
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It will all work out. Stress affects us all in really weird ways. My mom did that once a wekk for about a month. Then I realized their just as stressed out as we are. 350 thats a huge wedding so if I am stressed I am only having 150 that should make u twice as stressed. Hang in their girl!!! You will have the wedding of your dreams guarenteed. Your mom will not do that tho you. I promise
My fh mom does the same thing. Her famous line is. 'I'm always stuck in the middle' Idon't know why'....We know why... she starts it
Think postive. Take a break from it and get away with your man this weekend
brady37
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I feel so bad for you!!!! Sometimes weddings bring out the worst in people!!!! But you are not alone! I have to have a whole separate wedding my FH family! I'm not going to get into all my drama... ! Hopefully it will all work out and it won’t cause tension btwn you and your FH... maybe you and your FH can go talk to someone, a priest or therapist... just to get all your emotions out before you get married. My mom has been begging me to go talk to someone with my FH... I'm convinced we are going to be fine, but I can def see her point! Unfortunately your FH family is always going to be there and if he can't put his parents in their place it might lead to bigger issues in the future!
SN2BMRSBURTE
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I'm very sorry you have all this stress. That is very unfair of FMIL. I hope everything works out
ETAB
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First of all, she should be asking you and FH if you guys mind before even mentioning the financials to your mom. Listen it is nice enough for both set of parents to help out, but in the end it is yours and FH's wedding. They need to understand that, honestly, they are not important.. they should just be making it easier for you, not making you second guess whether or not you want to marry FH. I am sorry this is happening, but have FH remind his mother that it is him who is getting married and it is not fair for her to put everybody is this predicament because she wants to invite 50 more people 47 days before the wedding!!!
jenn122397
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wow i am so sorry to hear that could your parents pay since you said they were going to pay for all of it in teh beginning - maybe even if tehy just loan it to you? hope everything works out for you
soon2bmrsdunn
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I am so sorry!!!! I hope things work out for you and your FH!!!
LB and DC
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i am so sorry this is happening now!! i agree with all the other ladies, you should PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN NOW! if she won't pay for the ENTIRE cost of adding extra people, RH, centerpieces etc., then just tell her sorry, you should have told us sooner, it's too close to the wedding, case closed.
MichLiz213
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It will all work out. Don't worry.
TnOiOnL
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jesus... the fmil has MAJOR issues.. i can NOT believe any of this
heatherandrichie
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that's all I can say/do
LuckiestGirl
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I totally understand where you are coming from. . . talk to the FH about how you are feeling if you havent already. We are having a 200 person wedding which to me said 100 for my side and 100 for his . . . his mom tells me that she needs 92 invitations and each invite is for 2 or more people so i was so upset how do i tell her to cut her list. . . . . . so i talked to the FH who got mad at me and was like i have a big family what do u want . . . . . so much drama. . . . if i knew this was going to happen over the wedding i would have just aloped. . . .
carolinebr
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Re: so it looks like i might NOT get married after all
Posted by luvabul
theyre not significant, their not GOOD friends their acquaintances...ppl she sees at social occasions aka other weddings, social circles etc...
Ok, silver lining... this is actually GOOD because they might not attend if they are not close to FH or his family. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you.
Another thought: Is it too late to use this line- It worked for us: 'I am not comfortable inviting people to my wedding that I or FH don't know.' Basically we said if we haven't met them, they aren't invited. This cut a lot of bulk from my mother's list. (She was trying to invite all the damn Red Hats on Long Island).
Here's some hugs:
Good luck!
Strings22
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Re: so it looks like i might NOT get married after all
oh sweeite!!!! I'm sooooo sorry to hear that this has taken a turn for the worst. Keep you head up and really sit down with your FH and see how the two of you can resolve this.
