so it looks like i might NOT get married after all

here if you want to read the background


i just want to cry and run away

FH mom is a pathological LIAR.... l i a r !!! His mother tells him ONE thing and does another...she acts as the VICTIM infront of him...and than is soo cunning kniving... my parents and my inlaws got in to a huge argument, FH mom said we have all this extended family that now wants to come? what do u want us to leave our family out?? etc... but hello where were you before when we were making our guest lists??? ... she never mentioned anything and to top it all off..50 extra ppl...

his parents were paying half , mine were paying half... my parents wouldve paid alll...but they offered... and NOW she said forget it, shes not paying anything anymore... 47 days ... were am i going to find money to cover the costs... i have a 350 person wedding.... i went all out... since me n FH were not paying we splurged on rings, honeymoon, flowers, the lil things... and now his parents are backing out??? he is so upset... but than he doesnt do or say enough at the end of the day it is his mother , who raised him, took care of him im sick of arguing and fighting...i DO LOVE FH very much... been with him for 4.5 years..and never had this drama...since we got engaged things have been haywire and they all orginate because the adults/parents cant get along... and out of all honesty if my MOM, my PARENTS were WRONG..i would tell them...i would fight with them....but theyre NOT...how can u add 50 ppl and say no we dont wana pay for it the last minute?? and insult my parents and say well it was ur job to pay for the wedding anyways...we offered only as a favor


please pray for me... i was just so excited last week...i went to buy my wedding day jewelry...finalized things with my hall.... and i do love the man im marrying...but like my mother always said... You dont only marry the guy, you Marry the family... shouldve listened

Im so sorry Sara. This is just horrible and depressing. I really hope that you dont cancel your wedding b/c you and FH deserve to have the wedding of your dreams, youve both planned and dreamt about this day since you got engaged...and to throw it all away would just be a shame. You would also lose all of your deposits,etc. Im sending you my best wishes and prayers

I am so sorry!!!! Something similar happened to my cousin - her DH's parents who had offered to pay for the reception backed out the last month before the wedding!!!! They somehow were able to still go through with their wedding and it was awesome. I hope you are still able to have your wedding.

Better yet, I hope the adults GROW UP and come to their senses and that they stick to their original word and offer. Many many

oh my gosh i wish you the best of luck, that everything will work itself out!!!

seriouslyy.... this is SO upsetting... why cant they just comprimise?
it puts me and FH in such a tough position we both have to hear crap from our parents... FH literally gets brain washed
and than proceeds to tell me all these lies his mom spewed up... and im like HUh? this happened? and what are u talking about??

and the reason i know my moms right, is i moved back in with my parents till the wedding...anytime there on the phone with each other discussing the # of ppl or details...im in the SAME room...hearing whats being said.... and realizing what kind of tone, language, my moms using... and she is very nice.... yesterday after dealing with 2 years of her ******** ...my mom finally said how do u think u can invite 50 ppl the last minute, thats unrealistic and unfair...and FH my mom went nuts


argh

I am so so so sorry that you are going through all of this. It seems like you just can't catch a break lately. My advice is always not to let anyone get between you and FH. At this point, my honest, most sincere advice is to sit FH down and let him know how hurt and upset you are that he will not stand up to his mother. I understand that he is saying she raised him but you are going to be the one who is going to take care of him for the rest of his life and raise his children. This is a terrible situation to be in emotionally and financially right before your wedding. I wish there was more I could do for you. My heart goes out to you. FM me if you need to talk.

I am SO sorry you are going thru this. It is ABSOLUTELY WRONG for her to want to add 50 ppl last minute and not want to pay!!!!!!!!!!!!! What the hell is wrong with her?!?!?!!? And to back out financially now, she has lost her mind. Truly, I am so sorry this is happening to you. I hope FH can talk FMIL down and everything works out. and a few of these can't hurt

I am so sorry for you!! don't let anyone keep you from expeiencing the best of you and fh lives.

I will pray that everything will work out for you.

So, lemme get this straight--after agreeing to pay half of this very large wedding, your FMiL announces a month before the date that she wants to add 50 more people, and when you said 'no,' she refused to pay anything? That's unbelievable.

Well, then, play hardball. 'Sorry you're not coming to the wedding. And it will be too bad when our kids never get to meet their paternal grandparents. But I wouldn't want them to have an example of liars and control freaks. You agreed to pay for half the wedding, and now you're backing out--if this were a business deal, it would be fraud. And I wouldn't want my kids around liars and frauds.'

I am so so sorry.... Believe me, I understand your issues with your fmil. If you ever need to vent or if you want to swap stories, feel free to fm me! I really really hope everything works out....

i am sorry your going through this time. its suppose to be the happiest time in your life and your fmil makin you miserable. i don't even know what to say but keep your chin up . don't let anyone ruin your day. were did she pull 50 more people from??? my prays are with you

Im so sorry to hear this and I really hope that the parents can work this out TOGETHER. Big prayers for you and fh!!!!!

I dont get why you wouldnt be getting married now, if you and fh love eachother and want to marry. Is it just over the fighting or you think you cant afford it now? Maybe you could just do something smaller if worse came to worse? I thought in the previous post you said FMIL agreed to pay for her extra 50 guests. Hopefully that helps enough and youll be able to proceed and this will get worked out so you and fh can begin your lives together. So sorry again!

Ok so I will probably be considered the bearer of bad news but...

NOT Saying to cancel the wedding but...

Does your FH uusally stand up for you? Dos he usuaully defend you against everyon, including his mother? The only reason I ask is because although I understand he is torn because it is his mom, if he cannot stand up to her and this continues once you marry into the family, it will get worse. Trust me-seen it happen WAY too many times. I am lucky in the my FMIL is crazy but not malicious. But I can tell you soem stories...

I am sure he loves you and we know you love him. But just make sure he is ready to cut the apron strings and give his life to you;the woman he is amrrying and pledging his life to. Mama's boys only break our hearts at the end of the day....

Good luck honey! Praying for you. If nothign else, keep in mind that weddings make EVERYONE nuts!

350 person wedding
150 my parents invited
150 ppl FMIL invites invited


now she wants to add 50 more ppl....and says we should pay...its the girls parents that pay anyways... hello lady we dont live in the 1920's anymore...

I am very sorry you are going through this and so close to the day of your wedding.... You must talk to you FH about this all..... It must be hard for FH to argue with his parents but he need to tell him what he feels also. If you get involved it can cause trouble with his mother forever--- Try to have him tell her she is wrong --if he can't or wont now it can also be a sign of what may be to come. Try to talk to him and ask him to intervene if you don't think this will get resolved otherwise.

Whenever they use the 'bride's parent's' routine: tell them that the groom's parents traditionally are supposed to provide the new couple with a HOUSE. That should shut them up. (works with us).

Sorry.

Have you tried to tell her the pp cost & then tell her it is OK as long as she pays for HER extra guests? I did this as well. It worked.

I am so sorry that this is happening to you!!! I

Oh honey I'm sorry to hear that. If she's adding more people last minute than she should pay for them.

I do agree with your mom about the marrying the man and getting his family too. My FMIL is not the happiest person in the world. His family is really tiny, so I don't have to worry too much. Sometimes I like to strangle her, with love and affection ofcourse.

Hang in there and see if you can swing the extra people, if not then something will have to be cut. You should be enjoying the process, not freaking out about the big day. It will all work out in the end.

Ugh!!! That is horrible!!!

What is with boys not putting their mommies in their place?! I have the same issue! It is so annoying. You need to lay it on the line with them. You know, that woman has a lot of nerve causing these kinds of problems so close to your wedding! What a way to start off a marriage!

Good luck!