FH mom is a pathological LIAR.... l i a r !!! His mother tells him ONE thing and does another...she acts as the VICTIM infront of him...and than is soo cunning kniving... my parents and my inlaws got in to a huge argument, FH mom said we have all this extended family that now wants to come? what do u want us to leave our family out?? etc... but hello where were you before when we were making our guest lists??? ... she never mentioned anything and to top it all off..50 extra ppl...
his parents were paying half , mine were paying half... my parents wouldve paid alll...but they offered... and NOW she said forget it, shes not paying anything anymore... 47 days ... were am i going to find money to cover the costs... i have a 350 person wedding.... i went all out... since me n FH were not paying we splurged on rings, honeymoon, flowers, the lil things... and now his parents are backing out??? he is so upset... but than he doesnt do or say enough at the end of the day it is his mother , who raised him, took care of him im sick of arguing and fighting...i DO LOVE FH very much... been with him for 4.5 years..and never had this drama...since we got engaged things have been haywire and they all orginate because the adults/parents cant get along... and out of all honesty if my MOM, my PARENTS were WRONG..i would tell them...i would fight with them....but theyre NOT...how can u add 50 ppl and say no we dont wana pay for it the last minute?? and insult my parents and say well it was ur job to pay for the wedding anyways...we offered only as a favor
please pray for me... i was just so excited last week...i went to buy my wedding day jewelry...finalized things with my hall.... and i do love the man im marrying...but like my mother always said... You dont only marry the guy, you Marry the family... shouldve listened
EGreene79
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Re: so it looks like i might NOT get married after all
Posted by ETAB
First of all, she should be asking you and FH if you guys mind before even mentioning the financials to your mom. Listen it is nice enough for both set of parents to help out, but in the end it is yours and FH's wedding. They need to understand that, honestly, they are not important.. they should just be making it easier for you, not making you second guess whether or not you want to marry FH. I am sorry this is happening, but have FH remind his mother that it is him who is getting married and it is not fair for her to put everybody is this predicament because she wants to invite 50 more people 47 days before the wedding!!!
I completely agree with this. I'm not much of a traditionalist, so a lot of people may disagree with me, but I said from the very beginning that I didn't want any money from the parents if that meant significantly altering mine and FH's wedding plans. We wanted a certain size, so we told each set of parents the number of people they could invite. Maybe that sounds harsh, but it's our wedding - and yes family is important, but FH and I come first. Fortunately for me, my mom also said from day 1 'it's your day, you call the shots.' FMIL has been a little more of a struggle, but not much - she's pretty understanding also.
At the end of the day, this will all work itself out. I don't know your FMIL, but hopefully she's just angry and bluffing. I'm sure for the sake of her relationship with you and her son - and even her appearance with her friends and family - she'll realize how ridiculous she's being. Maybe she just needs a sense of control right now. I'm sorry she's being such a b$tch, and I hope it works out for you!
Eva-and-John 07
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Re: so it looks like i might NOT get married after all
Posted by LB and DC
i am so sorry this is happening now!! i agree with all the other ladies, you should PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN NOW! if she won't pay for the ENTIRE cost of adding extra people, RH, centerpieces etc., then just tell her sorry, you should have told us sooner, it's too close to the wedding, case closed.
I agree completely. The same way you wouldn't add 50 people on at the last minute, she can't. It would throw too much of your planning off!!
If those 50 ppl are that important she needs to find a way to trim the other 150 ppl on her list. DO NOT let her manipulate you or your family.
to you and FH. I know you want to rip his head off, but I'm sure he is in a horrible position right now.
dplehat
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Re: so it looks like i might NOT get married after all
Tell your fmil since she withdrew the money you will have to cut your guest list down your rh minimum and you will be starting on her side. Tell her if there is any room left you would be happy for them to come but you can't make any promises since you wouldn't want to lie. But they are more then welcome to join in at the ceremony either way. This way you are not excluding them from the wedding just from the optionl party. After all the ceremony is the important part . Good luck and I am so sorry this is happening
BunnyBride
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Re: so it looks like i might NOT get married after all
Posted by Eva-and-John 07
Posted by LB and DC
i am so sorry this is happening now!! i agree with all the other ladies, you should PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN NOW! if she won't pay for the ENTIRE cost of adding extra people, RH, centerpieces etc., then just tell her sorry, you should have told us sooner, it's too close to the wedding, case closed.
I agree completely. The same way you wouldn't add 50 people on at the last minute, she can't. It would throw too much of your planning off!!
If those 50 ppl are that important she needs to find a way to trim the other 150 ppl on her list. DO NOT let her manipulate you or your family.
to you and FH. I know you want to rip his head off, but I'm sure he is in a horrible position right now.
I have to agree with the other ladies. It's time to play hardball. Put your foot down and stand up for yourself. You don't want this woman running the rest of your life. If you give this ***** an inch she'll take a mile. Trust me! I think most of us have known someone like this..
tiggsnme
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Re: so it looks like i might NOT get married after all
Hang in there...it will all work out! Just remember how much you love each other and go from there.
SusiBtoM
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Re: so it looks like i might NOT get married after all
Oh honey, I am so sorry that you have to go thru all this drama right before your wedding. I f you cancel, you will lose so much, including your FH who you love so much.
Things will work out. Take a day or two to NOT do any wedding stuff and to clear your head. I would tell FMIL that since she will not be paying for any part of the wedding, she cannot add an additional 50 guests. Stress that it is not financially possible for you and FH. 50 people, mean roughly 25 invites, 25 more favors, 4 centerpieces, and the cost of the plate for 50 people. Don't mention your parents in this argument.
My prayers are with you that this can come to a reasonably happy ending.
Please keep us all posted.
RGV07
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Re: so it looks like i might NOT get married after all
so sorry you are going through this drama, every family goes threw his drama one point in their life before they get married. i hope you do get married to the your fh, i say chucked your fmil out the door. she such a trouble makers and she has no morals and she isnt a decent person. has she alaways acted this way towards you.luvabul?
Lisa982006
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Re: so it looks like i might NOT get married after all
It gets easier I PROMISE...I could tell you alla story about my FIL and step MIL and would make your head spin...they pulled so much s*** before the wedding I thought id kill myself. Weddings bring out true colors in people...its upsetting really that people you think love you become so petty, materialistic and SELFISH...you 2 have to stick together, its the only way you'll get through this.
Good Luck and if you need any advice Im here or if you just want a good laugh I could tell you the DRAMA of what surrounded my wedding.
CrazyLove
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Re: so it looks like i might NOT get married after all
SylvieB
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Re: so it looks like i might NOT get married after all
I am sure he loves you and we know you love him. But just make sure he is ready to cut the apron strings and give his life to you;the woman he is amrrying and pledging his life to. Mama's boys only break our hearts at the end of the day....
So sorry this is happening to you, but I agree w/ the above post. I understand it's his mother, but you will be his WIFE, his LIFE partner & the mother of his children. His mother is acting like a child and a control freak. I hope it doesn't get worse once you are married.
Good Luck!
AlliCatB
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Re: so it looks like i might NOT get married after all
leena07
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Re: so it looks like i might NOT get married after all
omg sara.. i cant beleive all this. Im sure your parents are soo hurt by all this. In our culture it is true that we do not only marry the guy we marry his whole entire family.
Im so sorry that you have to go thru this. Please keep strong.
MF9282
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Re: so it looks like i might NOT get married after all
I am so sorry to hear that!! I hope it all works out. What is wrong with them !? And ur exactly right where were these 50 ppl when they were makign their guest list?! I am keeping you in my prayers!
lilangel
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Re: so it looks like i might NOT get married after all
Hun I am so sorry for all of this. It is all so immature and to be honest with you he needs to stand up to her and say to his mother when she is wrong. Besides being her son he is a grown man.
I hope it all works out hun. I am really pulling for you.
MrsRallis07
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Re: so it looks like i might NOT get married after all
I am so sorry. I completely feel your pain. I came very close to calling off our wedding this past weekend & honestly almost for the same reason your upset. But, after crying & crying I realized that I am not going to allow his family to ruin what is going to be the best day of my life. I know it's hard trust me I know his family is driving me nuts. And, in 3.5 yrs together we never had a fight until we started to plan this wedding & we're paying for the whole thing too. You need to make sure your FH knows how you feel & stands by you. I thank God that my FH has told his family that enough is enough.
I hope everything looks up for you & FH. Don't allow other people to ruin your day!!!! Keep us posted
Cpt2007
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Re: so it looks like i might NOT get married after all
I am so sorry about this! Hugs and Prayers!!!! Keep us posted on what happens.
Drv0716
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Re: so it looks like i might NOT get married after all
