i will try to keep this short. my florist said only parents & grandparents get bouts & corsages. No aunts, uncles etc because then how will guests distinguish between who is the mother or father. So mother is insisting that my aunt get a corsage. I said no way. i told her what the florist said AND more importantly how will FH aunts feel. So she agreed at first. Then this morning she said she will do it on her own for my aunt. i went nutz ! I told her if you do that you will be causing problems with FH family AND you will be going against my wishes. i basically brushed her off the phone telling if she does that she will be ruining my wedding.
i can't understand her, for most of wedding planning she hasn't been involved at all. i have to drag her for fittings for her own dress. but she gets involved in the stupid trival things like this. She is so worried about offending my aunt. she said she got a corsage when my cousin got married.
Do you think i over-reacted?
Thanks
hyphenbride
Posted:
Member since
Re: So Mad at my Mother right now
You totally overreacted. I can't believe you think that if you aunt wears a corsage it will ruin your wedding.
Maybe you don't agree with your mom, but she's not ruining your wedding!
Annoulak
Posted:
Member since
Re: So Mad at my Mother right now
Posted by JoesFutureWife
In my FH's family, it's tradition for all aunts to get corsages and all uncles to get bouts. This is not the tradition in my family but i am going along with it. Now all of our aunts and uncles are getting coursages. So they don't blend in, we are doing corsages for the aunts and uncles in white carnations. MOB/MOG are wearing lilies to be distinguished and FH's grandmother is wearing roses. It's not ideal to have all of these corsages but it is fair to everyone and that was my biggest issues. I refused to do them for just his aunts/uncles.
It's tradition in my family to give flowers to aunts & uncles, too. My FH has more aunts & uncles than me, but I'm fine with that.
I was planning to have our parents' flowers be different from the others' flowers so that they can be 'distinguished' more easily. For example, our mothers' corsages will probably have roses in it, whereas our aunts' corsages will have carnations in it (cheaper that way, too).
I would recommend something similar so that everyone is happy...your florist shouldn't charge you that much more for a few more carnations...
DGoldfarb0776
Posted:
Member since
Re: So Mad at my Mother right now
I would not get your aunt a corsage unless YOU want to no matter what your mother or florist say... Regarding your florist- it's your money and your say so what should they care anyhow what you want to do. Regarding your mother- you don't have to do it and I'm sure she'll be fine without the corsage if you don't want to get it for her.
The only reason why I am getting my aunt and cousins corsages and bouts is because they are the closest family to me atm (both my parents are deceased as is my grandparents). My aunt and cousin are walking me down the aisle and just to make things even I am getting my cousins wife a corsage (I thought that she'd be walking me down with her husband) also his brother and his wife so things looks more symmetrical in pictures.. also I feel that they have done a great deal for me so they deserve it.
jeanne08
Posted:
Member since
Re: So Mad at my Mother right now
maybe for godparents but not every aunt and uncle, that also gets rediculous if you have a big family.
shoegal68
Posted:
Member since
Re: So Mad at my Mother right now
Posted by jeanne08
maybe for godparents but not every aunt and uncle, that also gets rediculous if you have a big family.
my mother is paying for the florist. so money is not the issue. i am not really close with my aunt. i'm lucky if i see every 5 years. she even gets on my mother's nerves. my mother just wants to do this so not to ruffle her feathers.
I do NOT want to do this and in complete agreement with my florist. My aunt is already bringing up the communion gifts during the ceremony along with one of FH aunts. i think it would be wrong that one aunt has a corsage and not the other. Also, i do want the mothers to be distinguised. i am upset my mother wants to do this regardless of what i say. Up to now her involvement with the wedding planning has been very little. and i think i dealt with it very well. the very she has been involved or the things that she put her 2 cents in has been very trival things.
BoxOfRocks
Posted:
Member since
Re: So Mad at my Mother right now
Posted by shoegal68
Do you think i over-reacted?
Yes. You do have a point in that most of the time aunts and uncles don't get flowers. This situation is annoying, but it will not ruin your wedding and don't waste your time fighting about this.
Is your mom paying for the flowers? If not, direct the florist not to expand the job to include your aunt's corsage. Let your mom pay for your aunt's corsage herself. The day of, if someone remarks on it, disavow involvement.
Dee0522
Posted:
Member since
Re: So Mad at my Mother right now
Can you maybe call your aunt and talk to her about it directly? Maybe she doesn't even care about having a corsage! If that's the case, have her talk to your mom and maybe she'll be able to convince her that it's not important. If your aunt insists on having one (which she probably wouldn't) then I say just do it... it's too small of a problem to let it get you this stressed out. I bet nobody on FH's side would even notice.
soon2bmrsconnolly
Posted:
Member since
Re: So Mad at my Mother right now
I think it's a silly thing for you to worry about--my honest opinion. If she wants to wear one- just let it go. I don't think you should let it 'ruin your wedding'
dangell427
Posted:
Member since
Re: So Mad at my Mother right now
I wouldn`t even think ur aunt would think about it at al!! why would it even cross her mind!?! it`s ur day she`ll be busy looking at you rather than worring about where her corsage is!
ttweety7
Posted:
Member since
Re: So Mad at my Mother right now
I am sorry this is happening! My aunt and his aunt are getting a small corsage because they are reading at the church..
But its different flower all together
Mommy's are crazy at times!! :)
shoegal68
Posted:
Member since
Re: So Mad at my Mother right now
honestly i would let it go if i were just my aunt. knowing my mother she will also get one for my 2 cousins who are coming.
in a way wish she didn't tell me & i really don't need this stress over something so stupid.
maybe i over-reacted to letting it ruin my wedding. but i can't help but wonder how FH aunts will feel.
wundmoretime
Posted:
Member since
Re: So Mad at my Mother right now
Have her ask the florist what most brides do, if it is common practice to get the aunts a corsage. Maybe a non-biased view will help. You could also s/w the florist b4 and advise she is calling and enlist his help.
shoegal68
Posted:
Member since
Re: So Mad at my Mother right now
Posted by wundmoretime
Have her ask the florist what most brides do, if it is common practice to get the aunts a corsage. Maybe a non-biased view will help. You could also s/w the florist b4 and advise she is calling and enlist his help.
My florist is the one that told me that only parents/grandparents get corsages.
beachprincess
Posted:
Member since
Re: So Mad at my Mother right now
You are right. Why in the world would you get the aunt a corsage? Those are just for grandparents and parents. Why are moms so silly sometimes? I guess if your mom wants to get it for her, no money wasted on your end, but what will the other aunts/uncles think? I mean, is this lady a gift receiver or a guest book attendant or having any part in the ceremony? If so, it can be justified. Maybe you need to give her a small job to do.
SoontobeMrsMc
Posted:
Member since
Re: So Mad at my Mother right now
I don't think you are overreacting at all. A) It's your wedding-she should respect that. B) You are trying to make sure that FH's aunts don't get offended. Which they might if you have only your aunts wearing one and now his.
MrsK2008
Posted:
Member since
Re: So Mad at my Mother right now
My florist never said anything of the sort to me and FH, we got coursages for the special people in our lives, and if guests cannot distinguish I truly do not care.
I would not feel right about not getting corsages for the very special people attyending my wedding, one of them isn't even a family member.
These days, whatever you want you can get it, screw everyone who says other wise!
EK52508
Posted:
Member since
Re: So Mad at my Mother right now
THATS WHY IM DOING NO CORSAGES. I THINK THEY ARENT NECESSARY BUT YOUR TALKIG TO A PERSON WHO WANTED A JUDITH LEIBER BAG FOR HER WEDDING INSTEAD OF BOQUE! MY MOM DOESNT WANT ONE SO IM NOT GETTING ANY FOR THE WOMAN
shoegal68
Posted:
Member since
Re: So Mad at my Mother right now
Posted by SoontobeMrsMc
I don't think you are overreacting at all. A) It's your wedding-she should respect that. B) You are trying to make sure that FH's aunts don't get offended. Which they might if you have only your aunts wearing one and now his.
you nailed it pretty much on the head how i feel. first of she is going against what i am saying AND is putting me in an awkward situation with FH family.
i came close to giving in. my mother has to stop thinking about other people AND start respecitng my feelings. after all i am her daughter.
anamaree77
Posted:
Member since
Re: So Mad at my Mother right now
So frustrating. My mom is pulling the same thing b/c she says in 'OUR FAMILY' all of the Aunt's get honored with a corsage and then she extended it to Godparents and then, well....I really only have ONE uncle.....SURE MOM, LET'S JUST GET A FLOWER FOR EVERYONE AND PASS THEM OUT AS THEY WALK INTO THE CHURCH?!?!?!?
FH is totally against it and refuses to do this for any of his Aunt's and I just know that they will feel a little bit hurt if all of my Aunt's are wearing flowers but they are not. I am working on limiting it to just Parent's and Godparents. GOOD LUCK!
shoegal68
Posted:
Member since
Re: So Mad at my Mother right now
Posted by anamaree77
So frustrating. My mom is pulling the same thing b/c she says in 'OUR FAMILY' all of the Aunt's get honored with a corsage and then she extended it to Godparents and then, well....I really only have ONE uncle.....SURE MOM, LET'S JUST GET A FLOWER FOR EVERYONE AND PASS THEM OUT AS THEY WALK INTO THE CHURCH?!?!?!?
FH is totally against it and refuses to do this for any of his Aunt's and I just know that they will feel a little bit hurt if all of my Aunt's are wearing flowers but they are not. I am working on limiting it to just Parent's and Godparents. GOOD LUCK!
so sorry u are going through this too i thought i was the only one w/ a nutty family. my mother seems like she is more concerned about what people think on her side that about hurting other people's feelings.
