So my husband and I are getting separated

I am so sorry that you are going through this! My prayers are with you! Those boys are so lucky to have someone like you to call their mother. You are a strong woman and your heart is full of love! They couldn't ask for a better mommy!

Hang in there!!!!! You will absolutely get through this and change the lives of two very lucky little boys who will get to call you mom! You're in my thoughts....

I'm so sorry to hear this. I am sending you a lot of your way! We are here for you!!! If you need anything (talk, vent etc.) feel free to FM me.

alicia == i am so sorry to hear you are going through this. in a way, it's better you've decided to go through this now because it's probably better for the children to not get attached to their new Dad only to be abandoned by him. Kudos to you for continuing with your plan to adopt these children. I know how much it means to you. Great things happen to great people, Alicia. I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

You all are the best support group I could ever wish for. I sure wish I felt as strong as you guys think I am. I dont know how the hell Im going to do this...raising these two boys. Ive never been more scared of anything, but like I said before..I thought about it and I just cant let go of them...it would be like giving up my own child for adoption. Those boys are MINE..Ill find a way to make this work. As for Dex..this hurts..Im not going to lie or sugar coat it, but its my decision and we are being very very civil about it, so that helps. Hes a great guy..just not for me. I deserve better..I deserve to be happy.
So thank you so much to all of you for always helping me through EVERYTHING..I mean that.
I never in my wildest dreams thought Id be a single mom to two adopted children..Im thrilled and excited but so scared. Not one person has said I shouldnt still get them and for that I am thankful. There are so many single women who adopt..why cant I do it? I just wish I was more financially stable..but i will be. Things will work out. Everyone is praying for me. My mom has already made those boys blankets, etc..she wants me to move back to Oklahoma so she can help me take care of them. Im not ready to give up and move home just yet. I think I can do this...I just need LOTS of prayers..so please..Keep em coming!!!!! THANK YOU!!! I love you guys!!!

Stay strong!! You CAN do this!

Alicia,

I am so sorry to hear this, but you have to do what is best for you. After having met you, both myself and David thought you were a smart, nice & wonderful person and I know that you will be a great mom & make a wonderful home for these boys. I know it is overwhelming, especially with going through the whole adoption process and the ups & downs with that. But in the long run, if you feel that this is the best decision, then it is. Check your FM.

Alicia,

If moving home would make it easier on you it might be something to consider, so that you have the support system you might need in the beginning. As for the finances, love doesn't cost anything and those boys love you already because you LOVE THEM!!! Love it free and yes, you need a place to live, clothing and food but love is first and foremost and you certainly have an endless supply of that for the boys.

The other stuff will work it self out.

You may not see the strength in yourself that we all do but have faith that it is their. We all can't be wrong.

Thankyou!!! I am smart, nice and wonderful..you were right about that!!! Im just kidding..I know I wish I would have trusted my gut BEFORE the wedding..now its time to act on what its telling me. We need to take time apart..I know its divorce, but time apart will tell us for sure. I want more from my life..I dont want to be one of those people who in 20 years wishes they had a happier life..I want to be happy through out! And the way things are now..Ill be happier alone. Its sad, it hurts, but I just deserve better. I know it. It doesnt make me feel any better..this whole thing *****..but Ill get through it..and when those boys are here and they know how much I love them..I will be so happy..I have so much to look forward too!

Thank you Swags!!! I wish I FELT strong..I feel incredibly weak actually because I feel helpless right now. I think once I find a good full time job, thinsg will fall into place. Dex and I also talked and he wont leave me hanging. He really is a good guy, we are friends..just not in love..but he wont let me be on the streets and he wont let us go hungry. It will all work out. Thank you so much for your support!!!!

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Posted by aliciahelene

Thankyou!!! I am smart, nice and wonderful..you were right about that!!! Im just kidding..I know I wish I would have trusted my gut BEFORE the wedding..now its time to act on what its telling me. We need to take time apart..I know its divorce, but time apart will tell us for sure. I want more from my life..I dont want to be one of those people who in 20 years wishes they had a happier life..I want to be happy through out! And the way things are now..Ill be happier alone. Its sad, it hurts, but I just deserve better. I know it. It doesnt make me feel any better..this whole thing *****..but Ill get through it..and when those boys are here and they know how much I love them..I will be so happy..I have so much to look forward too!

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alicia- what you said above is exactly how i felt and thats why I got out so quickly... I had the voices telling me BEFORE the wedding that things werent right. but i thought it was the wedding planning and that things would get better after the wedding. You realize after the wedding, reality starts... I realized it wasnt right and I was better off alone...and deserved better.. but you are right, knowing all of this doesnt stop the hurt and pain... and you may noe feel strong right now, but you are and as time goes on things DO get better, I promise.. Take it from someone who knows FIRST HAND on what you are going through!! Love ya!!

oh, and

Alicia,

I am so sorry to hear about you and Dex.....But you WILL BE AN ABSOLUTE WONDERFUL MOTHER!!!!

Sorry to hear you are going thru this.. hang in there, you and your new sons are in my prayers

alicia, when i saw this my jaw dropped....and then i saw that you were still getting the boys and i smiled. i have followed your story and think that you are being SO strong, those boys ARE your, you are right and you are going to be such a great mommy!

Alicia, I am so sorry that you are going through all this. I am so happy that your intentions are to still continue with the adoption process. Where there is a WILL there is a WAY! You certainly have the WILL! YOu are going to be a great mom! In my opinion, it would be nice to move back to Oklahoma where your boys could spend time with Grandma.

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Posted by aliciahelene

We had problems before the marriage, I should have trusted my gut and got out then, but I thought I had a bad case of wedding jitters..now its still here and it turns out he never wanted these boys. I feel like Im going to throw up. Ive thought long and hard about it and I am still getting those boys. Ive done all of the work, all of the communicating with them,,Ive paid every dime towards this adoption..they are my children, and although I had hoped to give them a nice happy home with a loving father, Im glad I found this out NOW before they got here. I am not asking for anyones advice..my mind is made up ..I have thought this through COMPLETLY, but I could use alot of hugs!!! Please

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I am so sorry to hear this. I do admire you for not giving up on your adoption plans. God Bless You! These boys are definitely getting a great mom!

Some hugs for you

WOW Alicia, I'm so sorry to hear the news of your separation... much love sent your way and I wish you luck with those boys, I know and EVERYONE else on this board KNOWS you'll be a WONDERFUL mother.

MUCH LOVE!!!