so one of my friends

just told me her son was gay and she cried.

I was like so?

I guess it's hard though worrying how people will treat him etc. I think it should be a HUGE wight lifted for him being able to be himself finally.

any thoughts?

i think as a parent, we would have certain expectations for our children. like them getting married and having children of their own.
obviously, you can still have children if your gay, but i guess it might be a shock to your friend if he kept it a close secret and no one knew about his proclivities.
also, i think i would worry too about a child of mine if i found out he were gay just to see how he would be treated. i believe you are born that way, and that you do not chose to be this way.
overall though, you just have to live life, and i would rather my child be happy and tell me about his sexual orientation than hide it from me and be miserable.

awww, how brave of her son to finally be able to admit it. I hope your friend's initial shock wears off and she comes around.

My friend from elementary school came out a few years ago (his boyfriend is HOTTTT!!!) and his mom accepts it but his dad never really acknowleges it. I've known him since kindergarten and we all had our suspicions but it took him like 20 years to say it out loud.

I think he's a much happier person.

FH and I have talked about this and we'd both be a little sad but we would def support our child.

I think the sadness comes 'losing' some of the dreams you have for your child: getting married, having children, etc. They can still have these things but not in the traditional way we may have imagined since they were a baby.

She probably cried because:

A) She's relieved. She probably knew this (or at least thought it to be a strong possibility) for awhile, but never really acknowledged it and wanted to wait for him to say something.

B) She's thinking about how he may be treated throughout his life, both socially and professionally. However, I think that the media has made GREAT strides in the past ten years that make homosexuality a much more common presence in people's lives. Think about it. 'Glee', 'Ellen', 'The Rosie O'Donnell Show', 'Will & Grace'...these are popular shows (well, some are still on, some are not) with gay characters/hosts...people who live a more sheltered life are still exposed to homosexuality and SURPRISE...they're just like all us straight folk.

C) It's still a hard conversation to have. FH is Bengali-Muslim. I'm Irish-Christian. His mom cried when he told her how serious we are. Your friend just wants the best for her son, and his happiness might come with some struggle and judgment from outside forces. It's not always easy to be in an interracial, interfaith relationship, but we make it work for us. He'll do the same for himself in his relationships.

When my brother came out my mom had 2 reactions...

1) Yeah, and? (this was also my reaction)

and

2) I knew he was different even from the womb! Ok mom...

ANYway, point being, it's not the same as being gay 30 years ago. Especially in NY and on LI. There's such a subculture that he can choose to participate in or not... but there's acceptance to be had here. I mean, I don't know anyone personally anymore that really gives a crap, you know? I feel like she doesn't need to worry. Where has she been, hiding under a rock? Does she not know anyone else who's gay to know that this isn't a problem?

It's not a choice. He's not doing it to hurt her. And he can live a perfectly happy, healthy, normal life and he'll be much happier and healthier now that he's freed himself of this burden.

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Posted by JLWSJC

When my brother came out my mom had 2 reactions...

1) Yeah, and? (this was also my reaction)

and

2) I knew he was different even from the womb! Ok mom...

ANYway, point being, it's not the same as being gay 30 years ago. Especially in NY and on LI. There's such a subculture that he can choose to participate in or not... but there's acceptance to be had here. I mean, I don't know anyone personally anymore that really gives a crap, you know? I feel like she doesn't need to worry. Where has she been, hiding under a rock? Does she not know anyone else who's gay to know that this isn't a problem?

It's not a choice. He's not doing it to hurt her. And he can live a perfectly happy, healthy, normal life and he'll be much happier and healthier now that he's freed himself of this burden.

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I think she's just so worried about him being hurt by other people. She's uber protective and his going off to college was like being able to truly spread his wings for the 1st time.

Oddly, I think I'd be like, yeah..my son's gay...I'm the cool mom w the gay son. yeah..you have boring every day kids. I'm a cooler mom. lol

I was just brought up that people are just that - people. i was raised by my Haitian neighbors as a young child. I never really understood race etc...hence FH being Latin and me being a Jew. just never really occurred to me that it wasn't the norm.

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Posted by GlitterBox24

I think my FH would be very upset if we had a son who was gay... But if that were to happen he/she would have a lot of support from me.. I also think you are born that way, so what can i do... Just support my children and enjoy life. its only 1 and sooooooooo short!

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my fh would be upset too....i might be a lil upset if it were my only child and it was my only chance for grandkids but i want 3 kids so i really wouldnt be bothered

My friend is gay and so is his brother.....his parents do not have any other children, they were shocked and upset at first, now they support them....but whats the odds????

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Posted by NellieBellie32

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Posted by GlitterBox24

I think my FH would be very upset if we had a son who was gay... But if that were to happen he/she would have a lot of support from me.. I also think you are born that way, so what can i do... Just support my children and enjoy life. its only 1 and sooooooooo short!

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my fh would be upset too....i might be a lil upset if it were my only child and it was my only chance for grandkids but i want 3 kids so i really wouldnt be bothered

My friend is gay and so is his brother.....his parents do not have any other children, they were shocked and upset at first, now they support them....but whats the odds????

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my friend's partner AND his bro are both gay too. It's unusual. Usually siblings aren't both gay.