So Upset/Pissed/Heated

Sorry this is going to be a long vent so thanks for reading. I have a cousin who lives out of state and she is one of my BM. Her daughter who is my goddaughter is one of the FG. So I told her when she had to get her dress by and she sort of gave me a hard time. She also told me that it was costing her xyz to come to my wedding. I thought she shouldnt have told me that as I have went out of state to see her and have paid for a hotel etc.. So I tell her about the FG dress I picked out and she says its too much money (140.00) so I said ok you pay what you can and Ill pick up the rest cause I want my goddaughter to be in the wedding. So I send her a text today and tell her that she has to call up the place by 2 weeks to order the dress and not to tell anyone else that I paid for her dress because I cant afford to pay for my other little cousins. She calls me this morning and the first thing out of her mouth was you are driving me crazy with this dress. I replied you have been driving me crazy. She said the dress is too much money and that I should change the dress. I told her its my wedding and thats the dress I want and thats what Im getting. Then she tells me I have to put it in perspective. At this point our voices are raised. I told her its my wedding and its what I want. she then tells me that my goddaughter wont be in my wedding.Im now screaming at her that its not about her and she hangs up on me. Im just so pissed. Im going to write an email to her once I calm down even though I dont know what to say. My mom told me I shouldnt be surprised and that Im still going to have a nice beautiful wedding even if my cousin isnt there and I shouldnt let her get me upset. I should explain that she is a very difficult person to get along with and thinks the world revolves around her. Im just super upset because I want my goddaughter in it and then heated that she had the b***s to say what she said to me. Thanks for letting me vent lol

So Upset/Pissed/Heated

I'm so sorry. You are not alone. I feel like so many of us have realized friends/family true colors once we started planning our wedding. I am sorry that you have put forth effort before and it is not being reciprocated. I do agree wit your mom though-after this, do you want someone to stand with you at the altar who hasnt supported you all along? But you are 100% right--this is your wedding and you will get what you want!! it's all about you!

So Upset/Pissed/Heated

That's ridiculous of your cousin to tell you to change the dress. Definitely calm down first before you talk to her again... give it a day or two, you don't want to say any thing that you might regret/that could come back & haunt you. Right now you are the bigger person because you didn't flip out and take someone out of your bridal party.
I would also suggest calling, not emailing because as we know sometimes reading text (especially when already upset) can come across totally different than what the writer meant. Explain to her that you are disappointed & upset and basically tell her where you are coming from that you really would like for your god daughter to be a part of your day & that you are willing to pay what she cannot for the dress as a gift.

So Upset/Pissed/Heated

So sorry this happened. I really wanted my goddaughter and her twin sister to be Jr BMs when I first got engaged. My mother was actually the person who asked me not to have them in it. She knew their mother (my aunt) would make things stressful somehow. I thought about it and I finally agreed with her and didn't ask them. It's better this way since some of my BMs are already driving me crazy lol.

Re: So Upset/Pissed/Heated

I'm sorry that you are going through this!! There are always people who do things like this. They are just difficult people by nature. It's unfortunate that it is your cousin and it effects your wedding and your goddaughter. The only thing you can do is not let it effect anything else! Just let her go be mad and ridiculous over nothing and hopefully she will get over her hissy fit and will come to the wedding. It was very generous of you to even offer to pay for part of the flower girl dress. You didn't have to do that. It doesn't sound like you are being unreasonable about the dress in any way. She also didn't have to accept being in the wedding if she really didn't think she could afford it. And yeah it's tough weddings are expensive, there are plenty of BMs out there who are struggling with money and are still happy to be in their friends and families weddings... and guess what plenty of BRIDES out there struggling with money who are pulling it together to pay for their own weddings.... People do it with out creating drama, but there is always one or two that have to throw a fit and cause some type of drama to at least make part of it about them. If she's a good person deep down in side, she will get over it and come around to doing the right thing.

Re: So Upset/Pissed/Heated

I'm sorry this is happening to you!!
People complain and complain and if they didn't want to be a part of it, then they shouldn't have in the first place! I feel that some family members have been asking me to do things that are only for their convenience, as if I don't have enough to do planning this party and dinner for them to enjoy! You are definitely not alone in this sort of thing and your mom is definitely right. If she can't support you, that's her issue, don't take it personally.